OR,
HOW TO MAKE THE CHILDREN INTO
SAINTS AND SOLDIERS OF JESUS CHRIST
By
WILLIAM BOOTH
GENERAL OF THE SALVATION ARMY
1888
SECOND EDITION
• PREFACE.• PREFACE TO SECOND EDITION.
• CHAPTER I: THE DUTY OF PARENTS.
• 1. What is the supreme duty of parents with regard to their children?
• 2. Can such a course of conduct be followed with children as may be reasonably expected to make them good and Christ-like?
• 3. But do not many who have not been thus trained get converted In mature life, and become both good and useful?
• CHAPTER II: THE POSSIBILITY OF GIVING A SUCCESSFUL TRAINING.
• 1. Do I understand you then to say positively that if children are rightly trained, it may with certainty be expected that they will become such Christians as have been described?
• 2. Do not the Scriptures teach that right training will make right--that is, "righteous" children?
• 3. But do facts support this statement? That is, do the children of Christian parents always turn out devoted saints?
• 4. Then what becomes of the statement that Christian training will make Christians?
• 5. Can you show in what respect the religious training is likely to have been at fault in the instances of failure referred to?
• 6. Can you name any other cause of the failure of such supposed religious training?
• 7. Is there any other cause for the deplorable break. downs to which reference has been made?
• 8. Do you maintain, then, that if a suitable training be given to children, they will, if spared, always grow up to be holy men and women?
• 9. This is a most important subject, then, to all who are charged with the care of children?
• 10. But is not this task of training children very difficult and troublesome?
• 11. Ought not parents earnestly to seek that guidance and strength from God, which will enable them to give their children the training that will qualify them to fulfil the high purpose He has formed concerning them?
• CHAPTER III: CONDITIONS OF SUCCESSFUL TRAINING.
• 1. In the last Chapter you say there are certain conditions of successful training. What do you mean?
• 2. Will you please name what these conditions are? I want very carefully to consider them.
• CHAPTER IV: GODLY PARENTAGE.
• 1. You say that a godly parentage is the first condition of that training which will be successful in making the children true servants and good Soldiers of Jesus Christ. Will you explain what you mean?
• 2. Does not this notion contradict the doctrine of inbred depravity, or the indwelling sinfulness of children?
• 3. Is there anything in the Bible which seems to teach that the children of godly parents have any special advantage over the children of the ungodly?
• 4. Is it absolutely necessary, then, that children should be born of holy parentage, in order to their becoming holy?
• 5. Should not the consideration of the advantages flowing from a godly parentage be a great encouragement to young people to serve God early in life, and then, if in The Army, only to enter into marriage relationships with Salvationists, whose whole souls, like their own, are filled with the love of God and man?
• CHAPTER V: THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS.
• 1. What is the second condition of successful training?
• 2. Why are parents held responsible for this training, more than any other persons?
• 3. Are these the feelings with which parents ordinarily regard their children?
• 4. But do not all professedly Christian parents desire that their children shall be really religious?
• 5. But do not such parents in all their plans desire that their children shall grow up to be the servants of God?
• 6. Then you think those parents are wrong who regard their children with these interested and selfish feelings?
• 7. Can you give any other reason why parents are held responsible for giving this training?
• 8. Is there any further reason why the parents should be held responsible for this training?
• 9. What further can be said to show that parents are held responsible for giving that training which is calculated to secure the Salvation of their children?
• 10. Do parents sometimes admit their responsibility for thus training their children for God?
• 11. In what other way is the responsibility of parents for the training of their children made manifest?
• 12. Is there any other argument which goes to show the responsibility of parents for imparting this training?
• 13. Are parents the only persons responsible for giving this training?
• CHAPTER VI: DEDICATION.
• 1. What is the third condition of successful training?
• 2. What is to be understood by this?
• 3. Do you recommend that this presentation should take any definite, outward form?
• 4. Will you name some of the advantages likely to result from such a Ceremony?
• 5. Is there any scriptural justification for such a ceremony?
• 6. Can you name any form by which strangers to the ways of The Salvation Army can be guided in carrying out the ceremony in public?
• GIVING CHILDREN TO THE LORD: EXPLANATORY REMARKS.
• 7. Ought not such a ceremony to be regarded as very solemn and important?
• CHAPTER VII: PARENTAL EXAMPLE.
• 1. What is the fourth I condition of successful training?
• 2. In view of what has been said about the evil of parents professing religion without the power of it, is it not better to have no form at all than to have forms without corresponding power?
• 3. Wherein does the importance of this example consist?
• 4. Can you account for the enormous influence for good or evil which the example of parents has over children?
• 5. Does this love and reverence and admiration for parents continue as the children grow in years?
• 6. Should not the sight of their children daily stir every parent's heart to see to it that theirs is a thoroughly God-like example?
• 7. If a holy example, then, exerts so great an influence over the hearts of children, why is it that so many who have had this great advantage are not saved in childhood?
• 8. Is it not a great calamity when parents are divided in example, purpose, and effort, with regard to the training of their children?
• 9. What is best to be done in the painful event of one parent being saved and fully given up to God, and the other not?
• CHAPTER VIII: FAMILY GOVERNMENT.
• 1. What is a further condition of the successful training of children?
• 2. Is family government an important matter?
• 3. Will you name some of the characteristics of a wise and godly family government?
• 4. Are there not practices and customs In some houses which are greatly opposed to the good training of children?
• 5. Will you name some of these things which you consider hindrances to good training?
• 6. On what grounds is favouritism exercised towards children?
• 7. Are not these preferences injurious and disastrous?
• 8. Why should this principle of favouritism or partiality act thus on the hearts of children?
• 9. But do not some children possess qualities both of mind and person which render them naturally more loveable than others?
• 10. Name another evil spirit which haunts many homes, greatly hindering the good effect of teaching, otherwise most commendable.
• 11. What is that?
• 12. Are children able to distinguish between that religion which is only an outward form, and that which is a genuine principle in the heart?
• 13. Is there any other spirit which makes against the good effect and right success of the training of children?
• 14. Can you name any other usage or disposition which spoils the atmosphere of home for the training of children?
• 15. Is there any other spirit in the home which hinders the successful training of children?
• 16. Can you name any other prevalent home hindrance to the successful training of children?
• 17. Is there not another spirit, very nearly related to the last-named, which specially hinders the training of children to be Soldiers?
• 18. Is there any other spirit which would interfere with the successful training of children?
• CHAPTER IX: TEACHING.
• 1. What is the next condition of the successful training of children?
• 2. But are children capable of understanding spiritual truths?
• 3. At what age would you recommend that this religious instruction of children should commence?
• 4. But will not such training as that which is proposed be calculated to make children melancholy?
• 5. But will not this teaching make children forward, destroy their simplicity, and fill them with conceit and unnatural self-importance?
• CHAPTER X: WHAT IS TO BE TAUGHT.
• What course of religious instruction do you recommend should be given to children?
• CHAPTER XI: TRAINING.
• 1. Is there anything further of importance to be said on this subject?
• 2. Is there a difference, then, between TEACHING and TRAINING?
• 3. Is it common for parents to train their children in this way for the service of God?
• 4. Then it is very important that parents and others who have the charge of children, should carefully observe the distinction between TEACHING and TRAINING?
• 5. But does not this training of children, of which you are speaking, call for great exertion and self-denial on the part of the parents?
• CHAPTER XII: OBEDIENCE.
• 1. Having explained in the last chapter the difference between training and teaching, will you show more particularly in what respect this training is to be given?
• 2. What do you mean by habit?
• 3. Are people very much influenced in their conduct by habit?
• 4. Is there any one habit in a child which you consider of greater importance than any other?
• 5. What do you mean by obedience?
• 6. What is intended by training in obedience?
• 7. Is not the training of children in this habit of ready and joyful obedience very important?
• 8. Is it not surprising that in many families where there is so much religious teaching and prayer, and real devotion, all parental authority is set at naught, or nearly so?
• 9. But does not the absence of obedience to the authority of parents lead to much misery?
• 10. How to all this to be remedied; or rather, how is this misery to be prevented?
• 11. I presume, then, you mean that before the child comes to understand his duty to obey GOD, he must be made to obey his PARENTS and those in authority over him?
• 12. But is it not very difficult to create in the minds of little children, or big ones either, this habit of always doing as they are wished?
• CHAPTER XIII: CREATION OF HABITS OF OBEDIENCE.
• 1. What counsels do you give on this matter? Or rather, how is this habit of obedience to be created and strengthened in the children?
• 2. But do you recommend that the wills of children should be actually broken and destroyed?
• 3. Are there not occasional outbursts in children when they will seek to have their own way, in spite of everybody?
• 4. May it not be thought from what we have said, that a strict and firm government of children would be likely to destroy their affection for their parents?
• 5. But is there not a great difference in children in this respect; that is, are not some children much more difficult to subdue and bring into habits of obedience than others?
• 6. What can parents do in case of continued rebellion against their authority?
• 7. But is it not desirable that both parents should be united in training the children in obedience?
• 8. What course is to be taken under such circumstances?
• 9. Is not controversy between parents with regard to any command they may give to their children, specially disastrous when carried on in the presence of the children?
• 10. But what are those parents to do who have been converted late in life, and only had their eyes opened to these things after their children have partly grown up, and grown up, so far, in self-will and ignorance of God?
• 11. Can you give any counsel to such persons?
• CHAPTER XIV: TRUTHFULNESS.
• 1. What other habit should be promoted, with all care and at all cost, in children?
• 2. Is it possible to train children so that they shall be always true and real?
• 3. How is this habit of truthfulness to be created?
• 4. Do not many parents, and others in charge of children, act altogether contrary to the counsel just given, by speaking and acting that which they know to be false in the presence of the children almost as soon as they can understand them?
• 5. Is it wrong to deceive children when such deceit seems likely to lead to a good result?
• 6. In dealing with children, is it not wise to avoid that sensational way of talking, and that exaggeration of facts which so largely prevails, in order to make what is said appear more interesting?
• 7. Is not much injury done to the love and appreciation of truthfulness in the minds of children by the appalling difference they often see between the profession and practice of parents and others with respect to religion?
• 8. Is it not very objectionable to use those exclamations so commonly employed by many in conversation, such as, "Oh, Lord!" "My goodness!" "My gracious!"?
• 9. Can any other course be taken with children in order to lay the foundations of truth in their minds?
• CHAPTER XV: SELF-DENIAL.
• 1. What other habit is it important to establish in the hearts and lives of children?
• 2. Is this possible?
• 3. What training should be given to children to create and cultivate in them this habit of self-denial?
• 4. Is not the course generally taken just the opposite of this?
• 5. Is not such a course of treatment calculated to cultivate in children a spirit totally opposite to that life of submission and self-denial which is the very essence of godliness?
• CHAPTER XVI: HUMILITY.
• 1. In what further habit is it important that children should be established?
• 2. Why is this important?
• 3. Then it follows that nothing should be practised in your dealings with children calculated to engender or foster pride?
• 4. Is it possible for parents to deal with their children so as to encourage this injurious spirit?
• 5. Is not this course most irrational?
• 6. Will you explain by what conduct parents create and foster the spirit of pride in their children?
• 7. What kind of training is calculated to destroy this spirit?
• CHAPTER XVII: CHASTISEMENT.
• 1. Is it not necessary on some occasions for parents or those in charge of children to chastise them?
• 2. But ought not parents to seek to make their children obey them and be good from motives of love rather than fear?
• 3. What are the principal motives that are likely to influence children to obedience?
• 4. But is there not a danger of parents using too much severity in the management of their children?
• 5. Is it a mistake to threaten children with chastisement without any serious intention of inflicting it?
• 6. Ought not parents to be fully satisfied in their own minds that the child is really guilty before the infliction of any punishment?
• 7. Will you name some of the most important considerations that should be borne in mind by parents in inflicting punishment?
• 8. Do not children sometimes, under such circumstances, refuse to confess that they are wrong and to promise amendment?
• 9. Ought parents, at such times of conflict with their children, or in the administration of punishment, to read the Bible and pray with them?
• 10. In administering chastisement, ought not parents carefully to distinguish between the faults and the misfortunes of their children?
• 11. Then children should not be punished for misfortunes or accidents?
• 12. What occasions, then, do you think are sufficiently serious to call for punishment?
• 13. You think it necessary, then, that punishment should be inflicted in such a manner as to carry with it, to the mind of the child, the idea that it is necessary for you to administer it?
• 14. Will you name some forms of punishment that are objectionable because likely to be injurious?
• 15. What modes of punishment do you recommend?
• 16. Is it not important that the quarrels and disagreements which unavoidably arise among children should be dealt with according to the strict principles of truth and justice?
• CHAPTER XVIII: COMPANIONSHIPS.
• 1. Have not companions and other people who are round about children, a vast influence upon them for good or for evil?
• 2. To what class of the associations of children do these remarks specially apply?
• 3. From what has been said, I can easily see that the influence of servants upon children must be very great. Can you state any particulars in which such influence is likely to be exerted in a wrong direction?
• 4. Seeing that servants have so powerful an influence in moulding the character of children, ought not parents to exercise great care in their selection?
• 5. Ought parents, when they act thus, to be surprised to find all manner of false, mean, and unclean habits generated and practised amongst their children?
• 6. Then do you recommend the employment of godly servants only?
• 7. Ought parents, in seeking servants, to be satisfied with the bare assertion that the parties seeking the situation are "religious"?
• 8. What other companionships have intimately to do with the formation of character in children?
• 9. But do not parents see this, and exercise every possible care in the selection of companions for their children?
• 10. What course do parents ordinarily take to discover the moral character of the companions of their children?
• 11. But how are parents to know the real character of those whom they allow to be companions with their children?
• 12. What then is to be done to find companions for the children?
• 13. But what about sending children to schools?
• 14. Then you do not approve of boarding schools?
• 15. How then is a suitable education to be obtained, supposing parents think it desirable, and can pay for it?
• 16. But if this mode of education be impossible, or will not enable the children to reach the standard of culture desired for them, what then?
• 17. Should not godly parents be willing to make any reasonable sacrifice in order to reside where they can have the advantage of association with real spiritual and godly people?
• 18. Will not all these prudent and careful arrangements to prevent evil communications and influences tend to make the children weak, insipid, men and women?
• 19. But is not a training in the society of unconverted boys and girls, even though some of them should be very naughty, likely to make the children strong in love and goodness?
• 20. Do not many of the foregoing observations apply with equal force to the companionships into which children may be brought in visiting or in receiving visits from relatives and friends?
• 21. Does not the last question equally apply to children paying visits to relatives and friends?
• 22. But may not parents ask the question," Where are we to send our children for change, if not to those of our own relatives and personal friends who will be pleased to see them, take care of their health, do it without charge to us, and, moreover, be offended if we refuse to allow them to do so? "
• 23. But would not such fears and timidity prove that the training given the children was not very thorough if its effect could be so readily endangered? In other words, would not such fears prove the religion of the children to be of a very gingerbread kind, if a few days' or weeks, intercourse with those not equally decided could endanger or destroy it?
• CHAPTER XIX: AMUSEMENTS AND RECREATIONS.
• 1. Is it allowable that children should be merry and have a certain part of their time set apart for play?
• 2. Ought due consideration to be given this subject?
• 3. What do you recommend with regard to the amusements and recreations of children?
• 4. Have you any practical suggestions to make on the subject of amusements?
• 5. The questions may here be asked, "How, then, are children to be amused? How are they to pass their time away?"
• 6. But will you please explain more particularly how this is to be done, with all the restrictions and reservations which you have laid down, seeing that this is a very serious question to those who have the charge of children?
• 7. But ought we not to teach children at as early an age as possible the same sentiments that we teach grown-up people-that they are not to live for HAPPINESS, but for USEFULNESS?
• 8. Do you think, then, that children can find pleasure in Salvation services?
• 9. But may it not be objected that to sell "War Crys" would be beneath the position and respectability of some children?
• 10. Is not the question as to how children are to be amused on the Sabbath often a perplexing one to parents?
• CHAPTER XX: SAVING THE CHILDREN.
• 1. What other important form of training is necessary in order to secure the Salvation of the children?
• 2. How is this to be brought about, or what measures can a parent adopt in order to secure the Salvation of his children?
• 3. May not children grow up into Salvation without knowing the exact moment of conversion?
• 4. How can parents best help to keep their children stedfast?
• 5. Is there not sometimes a difficulty in forming a correct judgment as to whether children are really converted, even when they profess to be?
• 6. What should be done with children who, after making a profession of Salvation, backslide and fall into sin?
• 7. Is it surprising that of the small number of children who make any profession of religion, so few endure to the end?
• 8. But do not these counsels go on the assumption that the Salvation of the children is very much a human affair?
• CHAPTER XXI: LITTLE SOLDIERS.
• 1. Is it right and desirable that children should be allowed to take any personal and active part in the warfare God is carrying on against sin and the devil?
• 2. Can you give any reason for this?
• 3. Can you give any other reason why children should be trained up as Soldiers, and allowed to take a public part in the work of God?
• 4. But can little children be made into Soldiers, and be taught and trained to do fighting of any value to the Kingdom of God?
• 5. But what can the little ones do?
• 6. Then you think real and abiding good comes from the Salvation work of little children?
• 7. But is there not another very important consideration which should induce us to train children as Little Soldiers?
• CHAPTER XXII: HOW TO MAKE LITTLE SOLDIERS.
• How must Salvationists go about the work of giving their children the home training necessary to make them Little Soldiers?
• CHAPTER XXIII: OBJECTIONS TO LITTLE SOLDIERS.
• 1. Are not many good Christian people very much opposed to children taking any public part in effort for the Salvation of souls?
• 2. Will you name some of the objections these persons bring against children speaking and praying publicly?
• CHAPTER XXIV: DRESS.
• 1. Is the subject of dress of sufficient importance to be considered in connexion with the training and instruction of children?
• 2. Is it important, then, that children should have correct views on this topic imparted to them very early in life?
• 3. In dressing children, ought not parents to keep in view the sort of men and women they desire them to become in after life?
• 4. How are children to be dealt with on this question?
• 5. What ought Christian children to be taught with regard to the wearing of jewellery?
• 6. Why should Christian children be taught to avoid worldly conformity in dress?
• CHAPTER XXV: EDUCATION.
• 1. Is the subject of education intimately connected with the right training of children?
• 2. What are parents to do? The children must be educated; surely you do not advocate that they should be allowed to grow up in ignorance?
• 3. But cannot something be said to guide Salvation parents more particularly as to the kind of education which it is lawful and desirable to seek for their children?
• 4. Having said so much on the subject of education could you not give us some suggestions as to the best method of imparting it?
• 5. Is it not important that simple illustrations should be freely used in teaching children?
• CHAPTER XXVI: READING.
• 1. Ought not some care to be exercised with regard to the books which children read?
• 2. What class of books do you recommend for the children?
• 3. Would you forbid little children to read the storybooks ordinarily got up for them, and generally thought necessary for their entertainment?
• 4. But is it not desirable that there should be books which meet the love of the wonderful and strange, which is so strong in children?
• 5. Then you are opposed to novel-reading by children?
• 6. Ought parents to acquaint themselves with the character of the books their children read?
• CHAPTER XXVII: STRONG DRINK.
• 1. Ought not children to be instructed in the evils attendant on the use of intoxicating liquors?
• 2. How can children be trained up most effectively in total abstinence?
• CHAPTER XXVIII: TOBACCO.
• 1. Is it necessary to warn the children against the common habit of using tobacco?
• CHAPTER XXIX: INDUSTRY.
• 1. Ought all children to be alike trained in habits of industry?
• 2. Do not many children grow up with the opinion that hard work is in itself an evil, only to be tolerated, even in saving the souls of men, when it is necessary for the purpose of earning daily bread?
• 3. Ought children to be taught to work hard?
• 4. But may it not be asked whether such an expenditure of anxiety and time will allow of that devotion to the interests of their earthly trade or profession, necessary to gain support for themselves and the families that may be dependent on them?
• 5. Do you teach that all children should forego secular labour and become entirely engaged in soul-saving work, and thus dependent upon the contributions of others for their support?
• 6. Can anything be done with children In early life calculated to assist the formation of good business habits In the future?
• 7. Ought not children to be taught to carry out the highest principles of truth and honour in whatever business relations they may fulfil?
• CHAPTER XXX: HEALTH.
• 1. Are parents responsible for the health of their children?
• 2. Ought not parents to qualify themselves to develope and improve the health of their children?
• 3. Will you please name a few of the conditions on which the maintenance of health very much depends?
• CHAPTER XXXI: FOOD.
• 1. Has the character of food anything to do with the health and vigour of children?
• 2. What is meant by a proper supply of food?
• 3. What is meant by the food being suitable in kind?
• 4. What is the second thing to be attended to in the right feeding of children?
• 5. What is the third rule of importance with regard to the food of children?
• CHAPTER XXXII: SOME OTHER CONDITIONS OF HEALTH.
• 1. Will you name another important condition or health?
• 2. What is the next condition of health which is of importance?
• 3. What other condition of health is worthy of being considered here?
• 4. What is the next condition of health?
• 5. What other condition of health have you to name?
• CHAPTER XXXIII: RESTORATION OF HEALTH.
• Can you give any instructions as to how parents may restore the health of their children when lost?
• CHAPTER XXXIV: HINTS ON THE WATER TREATMENT. BY MRS. BOOTH.
• COLD BATH.
• WET SHEET PACK. (For fevers in general.)
• SCARLET FEVER
• SMALL-POX.
• RHEUMATIC OR GASTRIC FEVER.
• A BODY PACK
• SORE THROATS
• INFLAMED EYES
• DIFFICULTIES OF THE BLADDER OR URINE,
• RHEUMATIC FEVER
• LAMP BATH
• A VAPOUR BATH
• SOAKING THE FEET IN HOT WATER.
• HOT FOMENTS.
• CHOLERA.
• ABSCESSES AND GATHERINGS.
• MUSTARD PLASTERS.
• FRESH AIR.
• CHAPTER XXXV: WILL YOU GIVE THIS TRAINING?
• 1. THE WELFARE OF THE CHILDREN THEMSELVES.
• 2. THE HAPPINESS OF PARENTS THEMSELVES.
• 3. TRAIN THE CHILDREN FOR THE WORLD'S SAKE.
• MAKE YOUR CHILDREN GOOD.
• MAKE YOUR CHILDREN WILLING TO DIE.
• MAKE YOUR CHILDREN WARRIORS.
• 4. FOR YOUR LORD'S SAKE.
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PREFACE.
SOME time back, I wrote a few papers on the Training of Children, which were inserted in the "War Cry," and which, I have reason to believe, were read with interest and profit by many friends and Soldiers in different parts of the world. Many having, by letter and otherwise, expressed their desire for something further on the same lines, I have been induced to write the following pages. Those who may be disposed to criticise this book on its literary demerits, I have no doubt will find ample opportunity, for it has been put together in snatches of time, often at long intervals-in many instances in railway carriages, and in times of sickness-mostly through a shorthand writer, and under all manner of disadvantages. In this War we have not time either for the cultivation of the courtesies of life or the elegancies of literature. The great aim with us, in all things, is to do the largest amount of good by the readiest me...
Above all, I would fain impress upon every reader that the beat way to test the correctness of my theories is to practise them. We think we can show abundant ground for confidence in their correctness; and we are certain that twenty years hence the proofs of their value will abound all over the world. God grant it I
Although it will be seen that the bulk of the teaching contained in this volume has been specially designed for Salvationists, by whom alone we have any expectation of seeing it fully carried out, yet nevertheless some of our counsels-such as those on pages 135 to 137-have had in view the benefit of those children whose parents may reside at a distance from The Salvation Army, or who may not have fully given themselves up to this War.
WILLIAM BOOTH.
August, 1884.
PREFACE TO SECOND EDITION.
I AM thankful to God that the demand for this book continues and increases all round the world; and I am especially glad of this because I know that such demand arises chiefly from the steadily increasing number of parents who are determined, not only to train their children in the knowledge of God, and the practice of righteousness, but who are seeking with all their might to qualify them to efficiently take part in the great enterprise of conquering the world for God.
Seeing that the Salvation Army is now considerably more than twice the size it was when, three years ago, this book was issued, I feel more than ever the responsibility of sending forth this directory for the heads of its families. Still, I am greatly encouraged in doing so by the experience of past years, all of which goes slowly to confirm every conviction which is herein expressed.
Every parent, who in the strength of God carries out the teachings of this book, may confidently expect that their children will become what so many thousand Salvationists' children already are - holy devotees to God and the world's salvation; and yet who, whilst spending their whole lives to extend His kingdom, are not only free from the gloom of stiffness too often associated in the past with " a strictly religious education," but full of the joy and love of the great Father of us all.
WILLIAM BOOTH.
INTERNATIONAL HEADQUARTERS OF THE SALVATION ARMY,
101, QUEEN VICTORIA STREET, LONDON, E.C.,
January, 1888.
CHAPTER I: THE DUTY OF PARENTS.
1. What is the supreme duty of parents with regard to their children?
The duty of parents to their children is so to govern, influence, and inspire them, that they shall love, serve, and enjoy God, and in consequence grow up to be good, holy, and useful men and women. "The father to the children shall make known thy truth."-Is. xxxviii. 19.
2. Can such a course of conduct be followed with children as may be reasonably expected to make them good and Christ-like?
We think so; nay, we go further. We maintain that such early training is the God-appointed and only method which can be reckoned upon with certainty to develope children into godly men and women. As surely as the child makes the man, so surely does training make both child and man. Let the child develope and strengthen that which is mean, selfish and devilish in him, and you will have a bad man; whereas' if you prune, subdue, and eradicate the evil, and develope, strengthen, and encourage the good, inspiring him with the love of all truth, holiness, and benevolence, he will grow up to be a good, godly, and benevolent man.
3. But do not many who have not been thus trained get converted In mature life, and become both good and useful?
Yes, thank God, they do. It is not uncommon for a child who has been allowed to grow up selfish and wilful, with his evil propensities unsubdued, and who has gone off to a prodigal's life, to be stopped on the highway to Hell by The Salvation Army, or some other Divine agency, converted, and made ever afterwards godly and useful; but for every one thus saved, it is to be feared a hundred perish. Surely you don't want your children to go after " the prodigal," and run such a risk of damnation. God's way for the Salvation of the children of His saints is not that they are to be trained in sin and their converted, but that they are to be converted in being trained in His fear and grace.
But even if you were sure that your children would be converted in mature life, after a childhood and youth of sinful indulgence, how dishonouring to God and injurious to your child and others would be such a career I Why not save your boy from so miserable an experience by moulding him in childhood for a holy life, thus leading him to give himself to God in his youth, with every faculty and force of body, mind, and soul trained, instructed, and all on fire for suffering or sacrifice in the service of his generation and of his God? Surely this must be the idea of being trained up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
CHAPTER II: THE POSSIBILITY OF GIVING A SUCCESSFUL TRAINING.
1. Do I understand you then to say positively that if children are rightly trained, it may with certainty be expected that they will become such Christians as have been described?
Yes, we do, and we are prepared to maintain the correctness of the statement. Is it not possible so to curb and train the spirit of the wild animals of the forest that they shall become your willing servants I Can you not so train the wild trees of the wood that they shall yield flowers and fruit to meet your fancy and please your taste? Can you not master and control the stormy wind and destructive lightning, making them willing ministers to help you in your earthly and heavenly enterprises? If you can do all this, surely the beautiful children whom Christ has redeemed with His precious Blood, and whom God has placed under your charge, and whom the Holy Spirit is waiting to influence, can be moulded and fashioned, and trained up in such purity, simplicity, and love, that morally and spiritually they shall be the admiration of God, angels, and good men--thus qualified to answer all those benevolent purposes for which they have been created, and ready to do the will of God on earth as it is done in Heaven. Oh, yes, it can be done, without a doubt, and it can be done with certainty.
2. Do not the Scriptures teach that right training will make right--that is, "righteous" children?
Yes, they do, but like many other important truths, this one is assumed in the Bible as a matter of course rather than stated in any particular form, or with any great frequency. There are, however, some remarkable passages to this effect; and one plain declaration, if not qualified by any other statement in the Holy Book, is as sufficient for our purpose as fifty. I will give one or two.
God says, concerning Abraham,
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord.-Gen. xviii. 19.
It is here implied that there is a way of commanding children which will assuredly result in their keeping the commandments of God, and so ultimately coming to the Tree of Life. Solomon reiterates this truth still more clearly when he says,
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it. - Prov. xxii. 6.
It is here positively affirmed that if the path be shown to the child, and he be taught to walk in it, he shall not only do so when he reaches the years of manhood, but he shall become permanently good.
Again, this truth is taught by the Holy Spirit through Paul, when he tells the Ephesians that they are to bring up their children
In the nurture and admonition of the Lord.-Eph. vi. 4.
There is plainly some kind of nurture, training, admonition or guidance, which is of the Lord, not only because ordered by Him, but having some Divine Power specially connected with it, which, if imparted faithfully, will 'be effective, seeing that the children are not only to have it given, but they are to be brought up, that is, they are to grow up in it. They are not to receive it, and then depart from it, as is ordinarily expected. But they are to grow up on it as a house does on its foundations, and in the power of it, as a branch does in the nurture and life-giving properties of the sap which flows from the tree into which it is grafted.
There seems, further, to be an illustration of this effectual training given us in Paul's description of the spiritual life of Timothy, when he says,
I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.-2 Tim. i. 5.
Here the Apostle connects the godly training of godly ancestors for two or three generations with the godly results to be found in Timothy's faith and devotion. The Apostle evidently did not look upon religious training as a mere speculation-as that sort of chance work which many persons regard their religious dealings with their children to be. Given such a grandmother, and such a mother, the Apostle clearly would have reckoned upon such a son and grandson as the natural, or rather, the Divine, outcome. How could it be otherwise?
3. But do facts support this statement? That is, do the children of Christian parents always turn out devoted saints?
Alas, no! We are ashamed to confess that it is often just the opposite, and were it not only too well known already, we would blush to publish the fact that there is no necessary connexion between a Christian father and a Christian son. Indeed, so uncommon is it for the children of Christians to follow in the track of their parents, that there is little expectation-if any at all-of any youth turning out to be a saint in his school, or workshop, or college, because his father occupies some high position in the Christian church. Nay, it is a still more painful fact that some of the most notorious infidels, abandoned profligates, and bitter enemies of God and righteousness all over the world are the children of professing Christians.
4. Then what becomes of the statement that Christian training will make Christians?
Simply this, that if the children of Christian parents do not turn out Christian it only proves that the right training has not been given in some important particulars. God says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it." If appearances seem to contradict this, the appearances must be at fault; God must be true, and that which contradicts Him must be a lie.
5. Can you show in what respect the religious training is likely to have been at fault in the instances of failure referred to?
The most serious lack in the religious training of children, and that which is the cause of frequent failure, is THE RELIANCE ON TEACHING ONLY. Multitudes of children are instructed in religious notions and their memories crammed with the facts of ancient religious history, whilst their hearts are left unchanged, uncultivated, and uninspired by the Holy Spirit. In other words, the children are made to believe themselves Christians, and are described to others as "loving Jesus," although unconverted, carnal, and worldly; having nothing more than an outward intellectual acquaintance with the facts and teaching of the Bible. They have just the same kind of acquaintance with Christianity that they have with geography and history. They believe in Christ and all the wonderful things He did, in Palestine, just as they believe in Julius Cæsar and all the wonderful things he did in Italy and elsewhere. But so far from their religious belief making them any stronger to resist the evil forces of their unchanged nature or raising up any barrier against the attacks of their outward enemies, it. is about as helpful as their faith in Julius Cæsar. When temptation comes, whether it be from the world, the flesh, or the devil, the flimsey barriers of their intellectual faith give way, and down come the poor children, causing scandal and reproach to those whose names they bear, and whose hope and treasure in all sincerity they have doubtless been. The Master's words apply equally to the children, "Ye must be born again."-John iii. 16.
6. Can you name any other cause of the failure of such supposed religious training?
Yes; alas I perhaps the most fatal cause is the absence of the spirit of the teaching that is given. Hence they are not only destitute, as we have already shewn, of genuine godliness, hut also ignorant of its real nature-as ignorant as I should be of the true idea of a living man had I never seen anything more like a man than a corpse from which the spirit had fled. Life is essential to the right exhibition of godliness. The teacher must be the living illustration of the lesson he sets forth. Mind you set the right pattern before your children; they will work to the pattern, so you can have a good guess what the imitation will be,
7. Is there any other cause for the deplorable breakdowns to which reference has been made?
Yes, the withholding of that training which enables children to reduce to practice in their own hearts and lives the lessons which they receive. They are taught, but not trained.
But we are anticipating what will be better said further on. As we go forward with our task, the careful reader will be able to judge for himself as to any defect in any training within the sphere of his own observation. Far be the wish from us to condemn anyone who in sincerity has striven or is striving to nurture his children for God and Salvation; nothing can be more foreign to our purpose.
The painful facts we have stated cannot be denied, and in noting some of the causes which lead to them both here and hereafter, we only wish to prevent their being charged back upon God, as though the fault lay at His door. It is our privilege to justify the ways of God to men, and in doing so we have no doubt, that though the statement that children trained in the Divine method will maintain a holy walk may painfully reflect upon the action of some parents in the past, yet we shall thereby secure some more wise and holy training in future, leading to the desired result.
8. Do you maintain, then, that if a suitable training be given to children, they will, if spared, always grow up to be holy men and women?
We reply that where the conditions are complied with, the desired results will be realised. That is, if parents win fear. lessly and faithfully carry out such methods as are suggested directly to their hearts by the Holy Spirit, the teaching of the Bible, and their own common sense, their children will all become true servants and Soldiers of the Lord Jesus Christ.
If we plant an acorn, an oak tree will be the result; if we carefully cultivate our ground, good crops will follow; and this law of a like cause aways producing a like effect in the natural world, applies equally to the world of mind and spirit. Neglect to teach your child his letters, and he will never read. Teach him imperfectly, and he will read imperfectly. Teach him carefully, and he will read perfectly. Just so; give him a careful training in goodness and in God, and he will grow up good and godly. A good tree must bring forth good fruit. "He that soweth [here or elsewhere] to the flesh, shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit, shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting."---Gal. vi. 8
9. This is a most important subject, then, to all who are charged with the care of children?
Certainly it is, and if it had received the attention and care which it deserves, the world would long ago have been peopled with the children of God, and all its forces, high And low, would have come into the possession of the King of kings.
10. But is not this task of training children very difficult and troublesome?
Yes, we doubt not it is. But so are many other tasks on which men set themselves, and which they accomplish successfully, in spite of the trouble and difficulty. Men are at endless trouble in training plants, trees, and animals, in managing business, in devising political schemes, and a million other things-all of which are of comparatively trifling importance when placed alongside this duty. Plants, animals, business, and politics are things of an hour, and perish almost in the very using. But the children that are playing about your feet or lying in your bosom will live for ever in happiness or misery--happiness or misery which will be increased, if not actually brought about by the training you give them. Not only so, but in the Hell or Heaven they will ultimately reach, there will sink or rise with them multitudes of others whom they have influenced one way or the other. Oh, what a trust is yours!
11. Ought not parents earnestly to seek that guidance and strength from God, which will enable them to give their children the training that will qualify them to fulfil the high purpose He has formed concerning them?
Most certainly they ought. On no subject ought parents more regularly, importunately, and believingly to seek help from God, than in all that concerns the deepest interests of their children. God has promised parents as well as others, "all sufficiency in all things," and if any of them "lack wisdom," they have only to ask it of Him. The children should not only be trained for God, but in God. When some celebrated Frenchman was asked, " What is the religion of the child?" he replied, "The religion of its mother! " The parent is its great high priest, through whom, humanly speaking, all the wisdom and grace it receives must come. How carefully then should parents seek Divine help, and how fully ought they to rely on the co-operation of God, to enable them to rightly live before their children and to be unto them all they need in order to their Salvation!
CHAPTER III: CONDITIONS OF SUCCESSFUL TRAINING.
1. In the last Chapter you say there are certain conditions of successful training. What do you mean?
I mean that if there are certain things in you as a parent, -in your character and conduct, and in the teaching and management of your children,-you may safely reckon they will be saved and grow up to be good.
2. Will you please name what these conditions are? I want very carefully to consider them.
I will name them here, and afterwards try to explain them more fully:-
1. A godly parentage.
2. The parents must see clearly their responsibility to give this training, and must resolve to impart it.
3. The definite dedication of their children to God.
4. The blessing of a holy example.
5. The benefit of a wise and godly home government.
6. Correct teaching with regard to the relations and duties of the children.
7. A careful training in the personal practice of all that Is taught the children. by precept and example.
CHAPTER IV: GODLY PARENTAGE.
1. You say that a godly parentage is the first condition of that training which will be successful in making the children true servants and good Soldiers of Jesus Christ. Will you explain what you mean?
We mean that the parents should both be converted and wholly devoted to God before the birth of the children, in which case there is little doubt that the children will come into the world with tendencies in favour of goodness. Just as we see children inherit the bad tendencies and passions of bad parents, so the children of godly parents must inherit dispositions, tempers and appetites favourable to lives of goodness and self-sacrifice.
There is nothing with which we are more familiar than the transmission from parent to child of physical qualities, such as peculiarity of features, tones of voice, colour of hair, eyes, and the like; also physical appetites, such as tastes for particular kinds of food, for strong drink, unnatural tendencies to uncleanness, and a hundred other things.
We are also familiar with the fact that mental qualities descend from parents to children. For instance, clever parents will be likely to have children, not only clever, but gifted in the same direction as themselves.
We know also that parents transmit their peculiar temperaments to their children. Thus you will find them sanguine, nervous, bilious, or melancholy, after the fashion of father or mother, or both conjoined.
And it is equally certain that moral qualities are transmitted-such as tendencies to truth or falsehood, generosity or selfishness, honesty or dishonesty., and the like.
2. Does not this notion contradict the doctrine of inbred depravity, or the indwelling sinfulness of children?
Certainly not. The children of godly parents, in common with the children of wicked parents, notwithstanding all the advantages of the former over the latter to which we have referred, are nevertheless born into the world with tendencies which, if left to themselves, will invariably lead them into a life of selfishness and rebellion against God. Nevertheless, in the degree of evil inclination with which children come into existence, there is manifestly a very great difference. The children of holy parents must have a far better chance in the race for the heavenly goal than the children of sensual, drunken, unclean, selfish worldlings, or of unprincipled cheats and thieves.
3. Is there anything in the Bible which seems to teach that the children of godly parents have any special advantage over the children of the ungodly?
Yes! God is set forth from the beginning as delighting to show himself strong and gracious on behalf of the children of those who have loved Him and kept His commandments and stood by His people.
Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.-Deut. vii. 9
And the Lord appeared unto him the same night, and said, I am the God of Abraham thy father; fear not, for I am with thee, and will bless thee, and multiply thy seed, FOR MY SERVANT ABRAHAM'S SAKE.-Gen. xxvi. 47.
For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground; I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring.-Is. xliv. 3.
And their seed shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people: all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the Lord hath blessed.-Is. lxi. 9.
4. Is it absolutely necessary, then, that children should be born of holy parentage, in order to their becoming holy?
Oh! dear no. It is doubtless, as we have remarked, a very great advantage; but God is very merciful, and when parents are converted after the birth of their children, they must at once give themselves right up, without reservation, and set about complying with the conditions hereafter named. If they then enter on the business of the training with all their might, they may count with certainty upon His loving co-operation, and consequently upon success.
5. Should not the consideration of the advantages flowing from a godly parentage be a great encouragement to young people to serve God early in life, and then, if in The Army, only to enter into marriage relationships with Salvationists, whose whole souls, like their own, are filled with the love of God and man?
Of course it should. This is God's royal method of multiplying His people, and making a hardy race of saints and Soldiers, equal to the task of conquering the world.
CHAPTER V: THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS.
1. What is the second condition of successful training?
That there shall be on the part of the parents a clear idea of the nature and value of the godly life desired for their children, of the training necessary to secure it, and of their own responsibility for imparting it.
2. Why are parents held responsible for this training, more than any other persons?
Because children are entrusted to them for this very purpose-this is the parents' special duty. They are stewards before God, and responsible to Him for the discharge of it.
Every father and mother ought to look upon their child as a sacred trust from Jehovah, as much so as though sent to their arms by an angel direct from Heaven, with the same command which Pharaoh's daughter gave with the infant Moses, when she placed him in the charge of his mother, "Take this child away and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages."-Exodus ii. 9.
Indeed, this is exactly what the King of kings has done. He has entrusted you with that boy or girl in order that you may lead it to the Saviour, train it in holy living, instruct it as to the nature of the foul rebellion raging against His authority, and inspire it with undying devotion to His cause. In other words, that you may mould and shape it into a holy, loving saint, fit for the worship of God and the companionship of angels in Heaven, and into a courageous, self-sacrificing, skilful warrior, able to war a good warfare on His behalf on earth. How will you deal with your trust?
3. Are these the feelings with which parents ordinarily regard their children?
We are afraid not. By many -- even professing Christians -- children seem to be regarded as a necessary evil, to be avoided, if possible, as being in the way of their comfort and ease, and involving a great deal of trouble and expense. By others children are looked upon simply as a means of selfish gratification, welcomed and regarded with no higher feelings than those with which the animals regard their offspring. Parents calculate about their children with favour or disfavour just as they seem likely to minister to their own Pleasure, gratify their family pride, assist in their worldly business, or help them in carrying out some personal ambitious aims or projects.
4. But do not all professedly Christian parents desire that their children shall be really religious?
They say so when first their babe is placed in their arms. You would think so as you hear them pray when kneeling by its little cot; they declare it at the baptismal font, and elsewhere, when in the most solemn manner they promise to train it for God, and on its behalf renounce the world and all its pomps, and the devil and all his works.
Parents do a great deal of sentimental talking and praying about their dear children being nurtured for the Lord, but we fear that in the hearts of very few is there any definite purpose that their sons and daughters shall be trained to follow the Lord Jesus Christ in such hardships and persecutions, self-denial, and toil, as the following Of Christ really signifies.
Alas! how few professedly Christian fathers and mothers plan anything higher for their children than that they should be so educated and brought up as to secure comfortable earthly positions! Is not this made only too evident by their being just as anxious as the rest of the world that their children shall be comfortable or rich, or learned, or famous? And do not these purposes determine, in the main, the training and education that they give them?
5. But do not such parents in all their plans desire that their children shall grow up to be the servants of God?
Yes, they desire all this after a fashion, and if anyone were to prophesy to them that these children would grow up godless, and at last die in their sins, and go to Hell, and also propose that they should train their children for this end, they would be very much shocked, and indignantly refuse to educate them after such an inhuman manner. But the poor children would have a far better chance of finding out the truth were they to do so; for as it is, while praying and talking about their anxiety that their children should be Christians, they are all the time training them as closely as possible for a life of worldliness and selfishness. AR the blessing such parents want from the Lord is that the children may have success down here, and that when living on earth any longer is impossible, they may be taken to Heaven. They seem to have no higher idea or nobler purpose for them than that they should spend their time and strength either in promoting the interests of the parents or in the gratification of their own selfishness. And then they call it being religious, because they ask and expect that God is going to prosper them in it here, and acknowledge them hereafter.
6. Then you think those parents are wrong who regard their children with these interested and selfish feelings?
Most assuredly I do I Parents have no more right to train their children for the gratification of their own selfish interests and fancies than a steward has to use his master's property for his own personal advantage, or a nurse to train the children entrusted to her care to advance her own particular views or interests. Let every parent carefully consider this, and be prepared to give account how he deals with this precious trust.
7. Can you give any other reason why parents are held responsible for giving this training?
Yes, the superior information which the parent possesses concerning the child's welfare shows him to be positively cruel if he refuse to impart it. What would be thought of a parent who, seeing the dangers, difficulties, and enemies scattered through the coming life of his child, should refuse to warn, counsel, and strengthen it to the utmost of his ability as to the best way to meet, resist, and overcome them; or, who, seeing the happiness and usefulness possible to his child, should fail to do all in his power to instruct, guide, and inspire it to attain to them?
8. Is there any further reason why the parents should be held responsible for this training?
Yes. The natural instincts which lead the parent, mother or father, to yearn with indescribable and irrepressible desire for the supreme good of the child, show that the parent is responsible for the employment of every possible method for promoting his present and future welfare. However far the parents themselves may be from righteousness, there are instincts in them which lead them to desire-and that very strongly-that their children should be good and happy. Do not all parents, at times at least, feel how easy it would be for them to make any sacrifice for the real well-being of their children? It would not be difficult-nay, it would be easy-for them to die to save them from any terrible woe, or to secure for them any great good. Why did God implant these instincts if not to lead parents to do all that is possible for the good of their children? A bear will die to save her cubs from death; and the parental instinct was implanted for a more glorious Salvation than that of the body only.
9. What further can be said to show that parents are held responsible for giving that training which is calculated to secure the Salvation of their children?
The solemn religious dedicatory vows taken upon them in multitudes of instances, bind them in the most sacred manner to give their children the best possible training with a view to making them good, holy, and Christ-like.
The fact that large numbers of parents stand up with their children in dedicatory, baptismal, and other religious ceremonies and declare their desire that their children should truly serve God and also their full intention to train them for this purpose, shows in the consciences of the parents a recognition of this solemn obligation.
10. Do parents sometimes admit their responsibility for thus training their children for God?
Parents confess it in the little religious teaching they do give their children. They show it in the prayers they offer for them; in the hymns they teach them to sing themselves, and the hymns they sing about them. Also in their anxiety about them if they die young, and in all their imaginings concerning them after death. If any of their children die, they always approve of their being very religious, of their serving God with all their strength, and being fully consecrated-in the next world. They are quite willing for them to be as holy as possible in Heaven. They can wear uniform, and play music, and march about in procession through the golden streets, of the New Jerusalem, week-days and Sundays, to any extent-nay, they like the idea of their doing so. They would be disgusted at the thought of their departed darlings growing up to live selfish, unruly, proud, vain, conceited lives in the Holy City. They would be a-shamed of their setting up their interests against those of Christ in a second Paradise. Indeed, they would condemn the very thought of the children who have gone away to Heaven living just such lives in spirit and in manner there, as they are quite content for the children whom God has not taken, to live down here.
All of which goes to show not only that in their consciences parents ordinarily recognise the justness of God's claims to the whole-hearted service of their children, but at the same time bears testimony to their responsibility for securing it.
11. In what other way is the responsibility of parents for the training of their children made manifest?
By the fact that God has given them such a remarkable opportunity for imparting it. For the first few years-in the most impressionable period of their existence-they are left unavoidably in the society of their parents, chiefly of the mother. Their minds and hearts are really and truly as much in the power of the parents to be moulded and shaped to whatever form they choose, as is the soft clay in the bands of the potter; that is, if they, the said parents, think it worth their while to be at the trouble to make them any shape at all.
But whether the opportunity be used wisely and well or not, there it is. God has given it, and the parent has the field all to himself. He can give here a little and there a little. No need for him to be in haste; if he seem not to succeed one day there is another, and another, and another after that. For weeks and months, and even years, be can go plodding on, Whatever opposition there may be, little or much-as opposition there will be some-whether from disposition, or temper, or waywardness, or the devil, it can be fought with and surmounted. Father, mother, God has given you abundance of time, and therefore He naturally expects that you will do the work. If you do it not, you will certainly have to tell Him the reason why it is not done. So do it, and do it thoroughly, and never fear the result, because it is your high privilege not to work alone and unaided, but to be "labourers together with God."I Cor. iii. 9.
12. Is there any other argument which goes to show the responsibility of parents for imparting this training?
Yes; this responsibility is shown in the remarkable influence which God has given the parent over the child during the first years of its life.
Parents are usually worshipped by their children. The mother, and often the father, during the period of infant life, and frequently far into childhood, stand in the place of God to their children. This mighty influence might be continued, and is continued in the after years of childhood and maturity to a degree which it is difficult to measure, unless destroyed by the painful discovery on the part of the children that their parents are not the good, true, and honourable beings that they have imagined them to be.
Consider this, you fathers and mothers! Think of the irresistible influence YOU wield over the children-an influence which must increase, if only you are careful to maintain and use it as God intends you should.
There YOU are then, by your own fireside, absolutely supreme, with none to say you nay; able to hut out all opposing influences, not only having the ability-which I hope you have, and if you have not, I Pray you get it immediately-but the wonderful opportunity to make these children such as your Heavenly Father can honour and bless on earth, and receive, exalt, and crown in Heaven.
13. Are parents the only persons responsible for giving this training?
Ordinarily it is so. But in the case of the children of parents who refuse the performance of this duty, and in that of orphans, the work devolves upon others, and with the opportunity for doing the work there comes a measure of the responsibility. This applies to the guardians of children, governesses in private families, Captains and Sergeants of Little Soldiers, teachers in schools, and to all servants who are brought into contact with children. These People, in some of the instances named,, stand before God in the relation of fathers and mothers. A solemn responsibility devolves upon all such to make up to the poor bereaved ones-bereaved whether by death or misfortune - for the loss of the watchful eye and kindly hand and tender heart of the parent. All such ought to feel this responsibility, to thank God for the opportunity, and to discharge their duty as those who must give an account.
CHAPTER VI: DEDICATION.
1. What is the third condition of successful training?
The definite dedication or setting apart of the children to be the servants and Soldiers of the Lord Jesus Christ.
2. What is to be understood by this?
That there shall not only be a clear understanding of the duty you owe to your children, and a set resolve to discharge it; but that there shall be the actual presentation of them to Him to possess and fashion for His purposes, so that while you are training them with all your might from without, He shall be co-operating by the might of His Holy Spirit within, for the same end.
3. Do you recommend that this presentation should take any definite, outward form?
Yes. We advise that, at a fixed period, one or both parents-if both be agreed on the matter-shall bring the child before the Lord, and in the most definite and solemn manner possible present it to God. If you are a Salvationist, of course this will take place in your own Barracks, surrounded by your comrades and in the presence of your neighbours and friends.
ACCOUNT OF THE DEDICATION OF THE DAUGHTER OF THE CHIEF-OF-STAFF, OCTOBER 22, 1883, AT EXETER HALL.
[From the "Daily Telegraph," October 23.]
The evening assembly [at Exeter Hall, on the evening of 22nd October, 1883] was varied by an incident which calls for special mention. Last winter we recorded the marriage, at the Congress Hall, Clapton, of General Booth's son, Mr. W. Bramwell Booth, to a lady Salvationist. Last night, after speeches from The General, and a number of songs, prayers, and addresses, enlivened by the accompaniments characteristic of The Army, Mrs. Bramwell Booth brought to the front of the platform her newly-born child. The General, thereupon addressing the audience, said:-
" Now, it is the principle of The Salvation Army that everything we have or possess belongs to God. We believe the misery of the world commenced with rebellion against God, and in thinking, that man could manage better for himself than God could manage for him. We hold it to be a principle of true godliness that we should go back to God and give Him our hearts, our lives, and all we possess. This father and mother, who are here to-night, in the carrying out of that principle, and in the presence of this congregation, and before the holy angels, bring the dearest, choicest treasure with which God has entrusted them, and offer this dear, precious child up to Him, and engage that they will train, and nurture, and strengthen it to be not only a child but a servant of the living, God, and a good Soldier of Jesus Christ, to fight His battles and take His lot.
"I will ask them, after I have explained it thus, if they are willing so to do. . . . We do it thus publicly to encourage all other saints to do the same, and to show that our hope for the Christian future of mankind is in our children being trained up thus to serve God, to fight for Him, and live for His glory.
"(Turning to the father of the child:) My son, twenty-seven years ago your father and mother thus, in the presence of a great multitude, consecrated you to God, and we have-very imperfectly at times-with His help, kept you for Him, and we rejoice to think to-night that you are fully His now, as then. Are you willing that this dear child of yours should be thus consecrated to God, and will you engage to train it for His service?
Mr. Bramwell Booth replied: " My dear General and my dear friends, I am willing that my dear child should be thus given up to God and His service, and I do this night desire to consecrate it to His work and The Salvation Army, that His name may be glorified by it."
General Booth, addressing himself to his daughter-in-law, then said:-" Are you willing, my dear girl, that your child shall be consecrated to the service of the living God after the fashion I have described, and will you join with your dear husband in keeping from it everything in the shape of strong drink, or tobacco, or finery, or wealth, or hurtful reading, or dangerous acquaintance, or any other thing that would be likely to interfere with the effect of such training and such education? "
The lady replied, "Yes, I promise with joy to train it for The Salvation Army and God alone, and to do my very utmost to make her understand from the very commencement that this is the life she should live, and that God will be sufficient for her."
Upon this General Booth took the infant from its mother, and proceeded to say," Then, my dear children, in the name of The Salvation Army, in the name of. the God of The Salvation Army, I take this child and present it to Him. I rejoice to hear this declaration, which I believe to be the expression of the conviction and feeling of your deepest hearts.
"I thus interpret them, and in His name I receive the child for Him, and for The Salvation Army; and I pray, and your comrades here, I am sure, pray that Catherine Booth may be a true saint, a real servant, and a bold ad courageous Soldier in The Salvation Army, having grace not only to make her own title and election sure, but to rescue a great multitude of other people from misery and sorrow here and everlasting death hereafter. Take it, mother; take it; and the father will help you to train it for God and for The Salvation Army. Let us pray."
Mrs. General Booth then engaged in prayer, seconding the dedication of her little granddaughter to God and The Army.
Some parents have no doubt carried out the same purpose in connexion with the ceremony of "infant baptism." We avoid any remarks on that vexed question, wishing to keep attention fixed on the main point-the real giving up of the child to God.
4. Will you name some of the advantages likely to result from such a Ceremony?
(1.) It will be likely to make a profound impression on the hearts of the parents themselves. Neither mother or father will ever forget it. They will be able to speak of it, in days to come, to their child, to whom they can repeat the sacred promises and vows then made with regard to it.
(2.) Such a ceremony will be highly calculated to draw out the sympathies and prayers of your comrades for the descent of the Holy Ghost on parent and child. These prayers, there is every reason to believe, will be heard and answered, both at the time and in the future.
(3.) Such a ceremony will encourage others to engage in a similar definite dedication of their children to God. It is only natural that the fathers and mothers present should, by such a service, be led to desire that their children should be as much the Lord's as you are presenting yours to be.
(4.) It will draw attention to the sacred claims Which God has upon all children, and will press home upon the hearts Of parents and others, the important duty they owe to their families. In this respect, there are few services which can be made more important and profitable. The children are in the greatest danger of being neglected; and any service of any kind which makes parents and other people think about the possibility of rescuing them from going into the dreadful vortex of worldliness and sin, or of the desirability of leading them to Christ, and getting them into some Salvation Army, is of the greatest importance and ought to be improved to the uttermost.
(5.) Such a service will not only encourage saved parents to dedicate their children, but unsaved parents to dedicate themselves. It will be perfectly easy to make them see that their children are given wholly into their power, that they will have life or death, as they faithfully teach them and set before them a good example. To those who are not doing this, the consciousness of neglect will come home with great power at such times, and will be very likely to lead them to give themselves to God, not only for their own sakes, but for the sake of their children-proving again the truth of the Scripture which says, "A little child shall lead them."Is. xi. 6.
5. Is there any scriptural justification for such a ceremony?
Yes; there is a description of a presentation of children made to the Saviour Himself when on the earth, and we have a direct command made by Him in connexion with it. We read that the mothers took their children and presented them to Him to be His disciples, in the same way that we exhort mothers and fathers to do here, and that He took them in His arms and blessed them. His proud, consequential disciples objected to the ceremony, thinking it beneath the Master's dignity, spoiling the meeting, and interfering with the opportunity of speaking to the important people about-in short, a trouble and a nuisance. But the Saviour looked upon the tearful, yearning mothers crowding about Him with very different eyes, and rebuked His disciples, going on to say, for their edification and for the comfort of the mothers,
Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not: for of such is the Kingdom of God.-Mark x. 14.
Mothers, fathers, guardians, and all others who have little ones under your control, take your children to Him, give them away to Him, let them be for ever His, and then train them to carry out His wishes.
6. Can you name any form by which strangers to the ways of The Salvation Army can be guided in carrying out the ceremony in public?
The following is the ceremony, or form, used in The Salvation Army.
GIVING CHILDREN TO THE LORD: EXPLANATORY REMARKS.
Any Salvation Army Soldier who wishes to present a child to the Lord publicly, may do so at any service, by arrangement with the Captain.
The parents of the child should be seated on the first row of the platform, or else immediately in front of it.
The parents should be told to dress the children, if possible, in The Army's uniform, or something like it, or at the least to put on them a red band of some kind, and certainly not to put on them any showy robes or dress.
This Regulation will help the Captain to make parents understand what presentation to the Lord means; and no child must be presented unless its parents, or one of them, at any rate, is thoroughly resolved to allow it to be used for the service of God in The Army, in any way or place He may choose.
Let all parents have the following, statement read to them privately when they propose to present a child, so as to make sure that they mean it.
Let the presentation be made during the after part of the morning or afternoon service, or immediately at the beginning of the prayer-meeting on a week-night, so that it may be used to keep the people right through from the first hour to the second, and to lead adults to surrender themselves.
When the time comes the parents of the child will stand to the left of the Captain. The Colour Sergeant will hold up the Flag over the Captain's head.
The Captain will then read the following statement and, explaining what the gift of a child means, and the meaning, of the ceremony which is about to take place, in doing so may call attention to any evidence the parents have shown that they understand and give themselves and their child to the War.
The Captain will then address the parents as follows:-
If you wish the Lord to take possession of the soul and body of this child, so that it shall only and always do His will, you must be willing that it should spend all its life in Salvation War, wherever God may choose to send it; that it should be despised, hated, cursed, beaten, kicked, imprisoned, or killed for Christ's sake; you must let it see in you an example of what a Salvation Army Soldier ought to be, and you must teach and train it to the best of your ability, to be a faithful Soldier, giving all the time, strength, ability, and money possible to help, on the War.
You must keep as far from the child as you can all intoxicating drink, tobacco, finery, wealth, hurtful reading, worldly acquaintance, and every influence likely to injure soul or body; and must carry out, to the best of your ability the will of God, and the wishes of your superior Officers as to the child.
The Captain will then ask the parents:-
" Do you wish to give up this your child to the Lord and to this Army in the way I have explained?"
" We do."
Should there be any other children in the family at the service he may ask them:-
"Will you do all you can to help your brother [or sister] to get saved, be good, and go to Heaven?"
"We will."
The Captain will then hold out his hands to take the child, and, having received it, will call upon the Corps to witness, and to join in the presentation of the child to the Lord.
THE CORPS WILL STAND.
The Captain, when there is perfect silence, will raise the child in his arms, and say:-
"Oh, Lord God of Hosts, take this child to be Thine own."
After this he will add such other words of prayer as the Lord shall prompt him to say.
He will hand the child back to the parents, the Corps standing whilst he says:-
"In the name of the Lord and of the ___________ Corps of The Salvation Army, I have taken this child, who has been fully given up by his parents for the Salvation of the world.
"God save, bless, and keep this child I Amen!
"I charge you, the parents of this child, before God and this Corps of The Salvation Army, that you fulfil the promises you have made as to this, our child, this day."
Here the Captain will add anything he thinks proper, to enforce this duty, and then, turning to the Corps, he will say:-
"Those who will pray for these parents and for this child, and will, in every way they can, help them to carry out the promises made this day-BAYONETS, FIX! "God bless these parents! Amen!
"God bless this child! Amen!
"God bless The Salvation Army! Amen!
[Let all the Soldiers say, "Amen!"]
"Soldiers! Kneel!"
The Captain and others will then pray, and invitations will be given to come out to the mercy-seat as usual.
A REGISTER of the children of the Corps will be kept, in which the parents will sign, at the end of the line, a declaration that they have given the child to God and The Salvation Army.
No water is to be used upon or about the child in this presentation.
NOTE.-It will be clear to everyone that this Service can be of no use unless at least one parent is a Soldier.
Should other parents at any time wish to present their children to the Lord, the Captain will be perfectly at liberty to make a presentation such as he thinks will truly express what the parents really wish and mean.
No Soldier should be allowed to make this presentation who does not express the intention to fully carry out every word of it.
7. Ought not such a ceremony to be regarded as very solemn and important
Most assuredly it ought; and it will be so if rightly esteemed and properly understood. To this end-
(1.) Let the parents carefully prepare their own hearts beforehand, by reading the Bible and by prayer for grace to enable them to vow acceptably, and to keep their vows when made.
(2.) Let the gift be regarded as a sacred reality. Be sure you do not go through any mocking form. Do not tell the Lord He shall have your child if you do not fully intend that it shall be so; in fact, let it all be as real as though you were giving the child away to be adopted into some other person's family. Be as simple in the matter as was Hannah, when she brought Samuel unto the Lord and left him in the temple. Give your Samuel, give your Mary, to God in the same way; only instead of leaving him in the Barracks, as Hannah left Samuel, take him back to nurse and train for God at home. If you do this, depend upon it your Father in Heaven will look to the interests of the child that is now His own, and pay you your wages.
(3.) Let the child be enrolled in your heart and in the history of your household as a Salvation Soldier. Let this be done whether its name can be on the roll of a Salvation Army Corps or not.
(4.) Keep the date of the transaction. If spared, as the years go by, remind yourself and the child of the event that transpired on that day. Explain the nature of the vows that were made, and ask yourself and the child also, if old enough to understand you, if these vows are being paid. Remember the angels in Heaven will make note of the transaction, and do you from that hour always regard, the child as no longer your own, but as belonging to God, and yourself as God's schoolmaster, whose business it is to give it such a direction and training as will please Him, and qualify it for the business He has for it to do, both on earth and in Heaven. May God help you to do it with all your might!
CHAPTER VII: PARENTAL EXAMPLE.
1. What is the fourth I condition of successful training?
That the actual, everyday lives of parents should be formed after the pattern and in the spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the great model whom they wish their children to imitate, and how can they with any hope of success press their children to walk as he walked, and make their whole lives on the model of His, unless they do the same?
For a parent to set a good example before his children, therefore, involves-
(1.) Consistency.-Everything must be in keeping with the profession made, the whole force of the example depending upon its being truthful. If the children once get the idea into their little heads that the religiousness of their parents is a cloak or a pretence only, no good impression will be possible on their hearts until that idea is removed.
If they see one spirit at the breakfast table, and another at family prayers; one spirit in everyday affairs, and another in the Barracks or the Church; if the religious exercises are not the natural outcome of what is in the parents' hearts, they will put the whole affair down, with their quick and merciless instincts, as a mere performance, and the example will, of course, lose all its weight. But if, on the other hand, they are made to feel--however imperfect the prayers and other religious utterances may be-that the ruling purpose of the soul of father and mother is to please God, keep His commandments, and shape their daily life according to the good pleasure of His will, such example cannot but have the most blessed effect upon the children.
(2.) To be the most effective, the example set before the children should be that of the whole family. Father, mother, and servants (if servants are kept), and everybody about, should all speak, act, and move under the influence of one spirit.
If the whole working, and eating, and dressing of everybody in the house are shaped and fashioned by this one spirit, and that is the spirit of love to God and man, the influence of such an example will be almost overwhelming. Seeing one member of a house doing one thing, another doing another, is distracting to children. They say, "Who is right? Mother says this, father says that, and the elder brother is doing something different still. Who is right I How can I tell?"
Children under such unfortunate circumstances are like rudderless boats floating where various currents meet-one hour driven in one direction, and another hour driven in another; now making towards the green shore, and now drifting out away towards the trackless ocean.
So these little ones one moment think there is a God whom they ought to love and serve with all their hearts, kneeling down and saying so by their mother's knee. Then at the breakfast table the next morning, when they see their father in a violent passion, taking the very name of the mother's God in vain, their heavenly emotions all change, and the good resolutions formed are all forgotten. And then when the big brother, as he departs to his daily business, laughs at the mother's wish that he would come to the religious meeting at night, the poor little souls vaguely follow out, not knowing what they do, in the direction of the bleak surging seas of infidelity.
2. In view of what has been said about the evil of parents professing religion without the power of it, is it not better to have no form at all than to have forms without corresponding power?
This is a question difficult to answer, and I hardly feel called to attempt it, but I contend that if you are to train children to be good and godly, and to meet you at last at the right hand of the Throne, you must not only have the form, but the spirit in the form. "The letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life."-2 Cor. iii. 6.
3. Wherein does the importance of this example consist?
A holy parental example is of inestimable value, because-
(1.) Example explains more directly and clearly to the child what religion is, than any other method that can be employed. Men and women learn more from what they see than by what is taught them. Example with them is more instructive than precept. This is infinitely more so with children. It requires a cultivated intellect to be able to form a correct judgment of things from mere verbal instruction.
Who amongst us, if we had never seen a locomotive engine, would have as good an idea of what it was by reading a volume or hearing a course of lectures, as we should have by seeing it at work, especially if the exhibition were accompanied by a spoken explanation on the spot?
Just so, father and mother, if you want your children to understand what practical godliness is, let them see it exemplified and illustrated in your own life and in your own home.
I do not object to your lecturing the children. I am going to show you how to do it, further on. I do say, however, that no amount of talking, reading, or sermon-hearing, will make them understand the nature and value of religion as clearly as they will if you yourselves are living epistles, descriptive of the same. Nay, it will be very difficult, if not impossible, for them to comprehend it in any other way. Did you ever stop to consider what those words of Paul's, "living epistles," signified? They meant that he, the Apostle, expected the lives of the saints to whom he wrote to be as a written communication, expressing the wishes and feelings of God towards men about their lives and work and warfare.
Your children are young, and perhaps cannot read their Bibles at present; but now, and as they grow older and all the way up to manhood, they ought to be able to read the will of God expressed in your life. So be sure you write it plainly, and in large letters. You will always be in sight, and they can read you by night and by day all the year round. Be sure, therefore, that your example truly explains to them what the nature of true religion is.
(2.) A good example is of untold value, because it impresses the minds of children with the importance and necessity of a life of godliness.
The great infidelity of the present age, and perhaps of all past ages, is not so much, it seems to us, scepticism with regard to the existence of God, as it is UNBELIEF IN THE EXISTENCE OF GODLY PEOPLE. But if children see before their eyes their own parents acting from godly motives and godly principles, supported by Divine power, experiencing Divine consolations, revelations, and joys, such unbelief to such children is at once and for ever made impossible. When tempted by books, atheists, and devils in after days to doubt and question the reality of supernatural and Divine things, the sainted form of such a departed parent will rise before them, and the exclamation will unconsciously rise to their lips, " The example of my glorified father, or sainted mother, utterly forbids."
We solemnly believe in the impossibility of anyone who has ever been closely brought into association with a truly godly man or woman ever being at heart an infidel. How much more impossible will this infidelity be if the example has been that of a father or a mother!
What shall we say of the reverse of this? How shall we describe the disastrous effects flowing from the example of parents whose daily lives contradict all that God affirms or good men believe about truth and holiness, Heaven and Hell? Such examples stand like an impassable wall between the little ones and Salvation, a wall not only too high for them to climb, but difficult for anyone else to drag them over. The example of a holy father or mother makes it easy for the children to be saved and almost impossible for them to be damned, while a worldly, godless parent smooths the pathway down to perdition, and makes the road to Heaven all but inaccessible. We relate sometimes a parable which illustrates our meaning here:-
It is well known that crabs and small shell-fish of the same class walk after what the children would call a " sideways " fashion. Once upon a time this, it is said, greatly disgusted the fishes, and after due consideration they resolved to teach these mistaken fellow-inhabitants of the great deep the proper mode of locomotion, namely, to go forward. Accordingly they started a Sunday school and collected all the little crabs of the neighbourhood to receive instruction. At the close of the first day it is reported that the teachers were delighted at the progress made, and dismissed their scholars after obtaining the promise that they would come again on the following Sunday. Accordingly when the day came they were all in their places, but, to the great surprise of the fishes, their pupils were all going "sideways," as before. However, not disheartened, they set to work with a will to do the business over again, and by the end of the day not only was the error rectified, but the teachers were filled with the hope that their scholars were established in the habit of "going forward," and so they dismissed them a second time. Sunday came round again, and the crabs were once more in their places, but, to the utter dismay and disappointment of the benevolently-disposed fishes, the crabs were all going "sideways " as badly as ever. There was a complete return to their former bad habits. A teachers' meeting was immediately called to consider what was best to be done, and to enquire into cause of this backsliding The problem was soon solved the and the reason of their failure readily explained by an elderly fish, who made a short speech to this effect:-
"You see, my brothers and sisters, that we have these crabs under our control for one day only, whereas they return and watch their fathers and mothers the other six days, and the influence of their example in the wrong direction in the six days more than destroys any good we may be able to effect in the right direction in only one."
Even so, Teachers, or Ministers, Captains of Little Soldiers, or anyone else who may wish well to the children and desire to mould and shape them for goodness and Heaven, often have a very poor chance, however prayerful and persevering they may be. What lasting good can they do if there is set over against their toils and tears the overwhelming and almost almighty influence proceeding from the inconsistent or openly ungodly example of the parents themselves, exhibited before the gaze of their children every day of their lives?
"Do as I say, but not as I do," was the poor piece of counsel some minister once gave to his flock, a member of which had been complaining that his life did not square with what he taught from the pulpit. It was a very useless piece of advice for a minister to give to his people, but it would be still more useless and less likely to be followed if given by a parent to his children, for, far more than grown-up people, they work to pattern and write from copy.
A good and holy example lives for ever in the memory of the child. How is it possible that the beloved face and form, the sayings, and doings, and plans, and purposes of father or mother should ever be forgotten? True, in the first rush and whirl of man and womanhood life, there may be some sort of waning of interest in the home of childhood and the memory of those who filled the largest measure of space in it. New scenes and associations and employments for a time create new interests, which occupy and absorb the attention. But as the journey of life goes forward, memory reasserts itself, and the influence of the holy example of good and godly parents is felt again with perhaps greater power than ever, giving additional meaning and force and feeling to the operations of the Divine Spirit, and in a majority of cases having a particularly powerful influence in the great work of personal Salvation.
We have heard hundreds of people, from youth to hoary age, when publicly narrating the means by which they were led to the Saviour, connect their conversion with the recollections of a sainted mother or father. Consequently it seems to us that no means or agencies employed by God are of equal force, or can be calculated upon with such certainty for accomplishing the Salvation of the children as the example of godly parents. Father, mother, mind how you live!
4. Can you account for the enormous influence for good or evil which the example of parents has over children?
You see, parents are everything to their children. The father and mother of a little child are like God and king, and Lords and Commons, and schoolmaster and mistress, and companion, and lover, and friend all in one. Parents axe all the universe to children-for the first part of their lives at least. In their estimation parents are actually infallible, and a long way on for being almighty. Only think of this! What a reverential looking up! What an admiration! What a feeling there is that the parents must be right whoever says they are wrong! And what a preparedness all this creates in the children to follow in their track! The children begin life by loving their parents with all their hearts, admiring them with all their powers, and consequently, imitating them all their time.
5. Does this love and reverence and admiration for parents continue as the children grow in years?
Yes; we believe it does. When parents continue to deserve it, we are sure it does; that is, the measure of it which is suitable to the altered intelligence of the children and their power to think and act for themselves. In those instances where children wake up to find that their parents have not deserved their generous love or their unquestioning admiration, there will no doubt be a revulsion of feeling somewhat in proportion to the attraction felt before. Especially will this be the case where children make the melancholy discovery that the religious professions and zeal and formalities of their parents have been nothing more than a hollow sham. In such painful circumstances there is in deed and of a truth a danger that instead of the parental example being ever afterwards a force to draw the children God-wards, it will become a repellent power, driving them off in the opposite direction-to the world, to atheism, to Hell I But on the contrary, if a holy, self-denying life is lived before the children, when the years of reason are reached, the children will become acquainted not only with the outer life but with the inner motives of their parents. They will then discover that they are really as true and good and disinterested as they seemed to be in their childhood's eyes, and they will find, moreover, that to the instinctive affection and childish reverence of their early days there is now to be added the obligation under which they are laid by the sacrifice, and watchings, and labours, undergone in their behalf. And so this influence, strengthened by this sense of indebtedness, will become a still greater power to mould and fashion the character of the children's maturer years.
6. Should not the sight of their children daily stir every parent's heart to see to it that theirs is a thoroughly God-like example?
Certainly; and woe to the father or mother who, after reading this, shall be content to live a half-hearted, inconsistent life before the keen eyes of their little ones!
7. If a holy example, then, exerts so great an influence over the hearts of children, why is it that so many who have had this great advantage are not saved in childhood?
It is simply because that training is not given which is quite as intimately connected with Salvation as a holy example. You might as well row a boat with one oar and expect it to go straight forward, as look for a full blessing on your children in the separation of good example from right training. Or again, though the example be excellent, if the training is the reverse, it is like rowing forward with one hand and backward with the other. Or, to take a Scripture illustration, it is like the man of whom the prophet speaks, who " earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes." (Hag. i. 6.) What is gained on one side is lost on the other. There can be no question that the training given by many parents who are themselves good and sincere is, through ignorance or mistaken notions very imperfect. Such parents may long with unutterable desire for the conversion of their children, and in many instances would no doubt be willing to lay down their lives to gain this end. But the training they give is calculated to have just the opposite effect, positively tending to keep the children away from Salvation rather than lead them into it, long years of discipline being often required to undo all its ill effects, even when the children are saved through some other agencies.
8. Is it not a great calamity when parents are divided in example, purpose, and effort, with regard to the training of their children?
Yes; it is a great calamity indeed-too great to be described in words; for when one parent is not in the enjoyment of a full salvation, and is walking inconsistently before the children, the influence of that one must of necessity tend to destroy that of the other.
9. What is best to be done in the painful event of one parent being saved and fully given up to God, and the other not?
(1.) The saved parent should impress on his or her own heart the responsibility of making their children good, and attempt the, task, no matter what it may cost. If it be the mother who is converted she has an enormous advantage, the children, especially when young in life, being almost exclusively in her hands; and she must use this advantage to the uttermost.
(2.) The saved parent must 'pray earnestly for and with the children, and must speak to them in the name of Cod, making them understand that lie or she is on the side of Jehovah. This will greatly increase the authority of the parent with the children.
(3.) Every means must be taken in public that seems likely to help forward the Salvation of the children, such as taking them to Salvation services as frequently as possible.
(4.) The saved parent must set aside the wishes and authority of the other, if absolutely necessary in the interests of the everlasting welfare of the children. A bold stand for God and goodness will often overawe the unconverted partner, and so make the attainment of the end in view possible.
(5.) The saved parent should get the children as early as possible openly pledged to the service of God. If the conversion of only one can be secured, the saved parent will obtain a very effective ally, and may then go forward with more confidence, determination, and enthusiasm to the rescue of the remainder.
(6.) Under these most trying circumstances, the saved parent should encourage himself with all holy confidence in the fact that the Lord Jesus is on his side, co-working with him, and sure, sooner or later, to fulfil His promises, and to do "exceedingly abundantly above all" that such a parent can ask or think.
(7.) There should be the constant maintenance of a meek, patient spirit before the unsaved partner. It should be made plain, so far as possible, that the Salvationist is not actuated by any selfish feelings in thus acting contrary to the wishes and feelings of the other parent. Every consideration consistent with the duty owed to God and the children should be shown to the wishes and feelings of the opposing parent. The cherishing of this spirit will go far towards winning over the unconverted husband or wife.
CHAPTER VIII: FAMILY GOVERNMENT.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.-Josh. xxiv. 15.
1. What is a further condition of the successful training of children?
A wise and godly family government.
2. Is family government an important matter?
Yes, most important. If the good government of a nation is essential to the welfare of the people-if their happiness physically, socially, and politically, and-we were going to say-religiously, to some extent, rises and falls with the character of its government (which it most certainly does), how much more intimately must every interest of children, earthly and heavenly, depend upon the good government of the home in which they live?
3. Will you name some of the characteristics of a wise and godly family government?
(1.) Firmness is essential to a good family government. Indeed, government of any sort without it is an impossibility; and children, as well as everybody in the home, if things are to go with any degree of smoothness, regularity, and order, must be made to feel that there is a strong directing will at the head of affairs.
Children are usually full of life, vigour, and spirit, and must in their first years be made to do things, not only because they are right, or because they ought to do them, but because they MUST. Children, during the early part of their lives, are little better than mere animals; influenced by their instincts and feelings, rather than by their reason. So to manage them easily-indeed to manage them at all, they must thoroughly know and understand that they are "under authority."
A good family government must mean, therefore, that there is a head to whom all look up. Nominally that head is the father, but between father and mother there should be such union of spirit, aim, and will, that both shall be felt to be as one. The expressed will of the one will then be taken as that of the other, and the children will know no difference in power and authority between the one and the other. This is the order of God, who puts both parents conjointly over their children.
Honour thy father and thy mother.-Deut. v. 16.
Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father.-Lev. xiX. 3.
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them; Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him and bring him out unto the elders of his city. -Deut. xxi. 18, 19.
Children, obey your parents in the Lori.-Eph. vi. 1.
We would say to parents, ponder this well over. How much depends on the presentation of this unity of front to the children, it is not very easy to describe. Let the mother and father agree between themselves what they want to accomplish, decide upon the methods by which to attain their end, and then act as one soul and one flesh before the children in the carrying of them out.
It is to be lamented that there is so little of this thorough union between parents. What more common than to hear a parent excusing the pettish and spoiled manners or the direct disobedience of little ones, hardly big enough to sit in their high chair at the table, by saying, "His father spoils him," or, "Her mother lets her do as she likes," or, " I am always correcting him, but when his father comes home, he only laughs at these things"? That is to say, one parent chastises the child for doing the same thing that earns some complimentary remark or foolish excuse from the other. Let there be a head in, the family. In name that head must be the father, but in government let children know no difference between mother and father.
(2.) This government should be fashioned and carried out on the principles of righteousness, and be all in the interest and or the glory of the King of kings.
A great writer has said, "Every Christian family ought to be, as it were, a little Christian church, consecrated to Christ and wholly influenced and governed by His rules." We endorse this sentiment, only making it a little plainer to the bulk of those into whose hands this book will fall, by saying that every Salvation Soldier's family ought to be a little Corps, trained up and governed by the laws of Jesus Christ, as understood and represented by The Salvation Army.
Where this is carried out, the family will be governed for God,-as much for Him in the parlour, kitchen, or nursery, or anywhere else, as in the Barracks or Church. The house where the family dwells will be as much the house of God as the place where the family meet their comrades for religious meetings on Sabbath or the week-night.
It follows also in families where this view is entertained and carried out, that everything will be done in the power and Spirit of God; not two spirits, one a spirit of self-sacrifice and solemnity in what is called a "sacred edifice," and another consisting of the service of self in its various forms of mammon-worship, pleasure-seeking, vanity, and self-indulgence, constituting the worship of the flesh. There will be one spirit, the spirit of benevolence, and truth, and worship, and self sacrificing good-will. In short, there will be the spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ, and whether the members of that family cat or drink, rise up or sit down, all will be done to the glory of God.
(3.) A godly family government will also be characterized by justice.
That is, the spirit of rightness and justice will influence the dealings of the parents with (the children and with everybody else, and they will see and feel this. If the children know that their father deals unjustly in his business, if they hear things that are tricky and contrary to strict uprightness talked over at the table and approved in any degree, no matter what zeal that father may display in teaching his children to be good, it will all be in vain. Just so, if they know that their mother acts unreasonably, dishonourably, and meanly towards servants, or tradespeople, or anyone else, no matter how she may talk and pray with the children and try to impress upon their minds the precepts of religion, it will be of little avail, if any.
(4.) A good family government will be conducted in a spirit of mercy. A hard, cruel, unrelenting, unforgiving spirit will prevent the good influence of all government whatsoever. There must be a merciful spirit in the demands made upon children. Duties and tasks must be graduated carefully to the ability of the child, all due consideration being made for the weak and the backward. Never ask that from your child which he is not able to perform, and watch the tasks imposed by others, whether teachers or employers, and protect, as far as you have the ability; your children from being made to learn lessons or perform duties beyond their natural powers. How can they make bricks without straw? A merciful spirit must be displayed in dealing with the neglect of duty. With disobedience-indeed with offences of every kind, more will often be gained by the exercise of forgiveness than the infliction of punishment. Anyway, the spirit of forgiveness-of tender, gentle, and merciful dealing - should pervade the house at all times and under all circumstances.
(5.) A good family government will be based on love. Note the difference between love and affection. The latter is the exercise of a blind instinct, the same as in animals; the former, guided and influenced by reason, answers. to the moral qualities of the object beloved. Love is the foundation of the Divine government, and, while it reigns supreme over every other virtue, includes them all within itself.
4. Are there not practices and customs In some houses which are greatly opposed to the good training of children?
Yes, some that are quite foreign to the principles named in the last chapter, and which we refer to here' in order to be quite assured of being understood.
5. Will you name some of these things which you consider hindrances to good training?
Yes. The first we refer to is FAVOURITISM. Where one child is more beloved and receives more attention and kindness than the others, not because it is more deserving, but because the parents simply prefer it, we say the child is a favourite.
6. On what grounds is favouritism exercised towards children?
Sometimes because the appearance of a child is more pleasing in the eyes of the parents than another, or because it happens to have more flashy or attractive talents; sometimes it is because it has qualities that are more likely to minister to the selfish gratification of the parents, and sometimes for no other reason than because it happens to strike their fancy.
7. Are not these preferences injurious and disastrous?
Yes; none more so. Only, let it enter the thoughts of a child that because of some defect in body or in mind which it cannot help, and for which therefore it is not responsible, it is not dealt justly by, but is regarded with less favour than some of its brothers and sisters, and this bitter feeling will rankle in its heart, destroy its happiness, weaken its sense of duty, and open the door for the horrid spirits of envy and revenge to enter and dwell there.
8. Why should this principle of favouritism or partiality act thus on the hearts of children?
Because it, directly violates the innate sense of justice which God has placed in every child's nature. While the child feels that it is perfectly just for the parent to show more favour and affection for any of his brothers and sisters who may be more self-denying, industrious, and obedient than himself, he will rebel against this preference of others before him, because they happen to have a physical form, or some mental qualities and gifts more to the liking of the parents, for the lack of which he is in nowise responsible.
9. But do not some children possess qualities both of mind and person which render them naturally more loveable than others?
Unquestionably; and therefore parents must be on their guard not to be carried away by these gifts, and as a consequence bestow affection and favour and labour on those children who possess them, more than they do on others who may not have them.
10. Name another evil spirit which haunts many homes, greatly hindering the good effect of teaching, otherwise most commendable.
The SPIRIT OF SANCTIMONIOUSNESS, or HYPOCRISY.
11. What is that?
Sanctimoniousness is pretending to be religious, that is, looking, and talking, and acting as though you were very pious, when in reality you are nothing of the kind.
12. Are children able to distinguish between that religion which is only an outward form, and that which is a genuine principle in the heart?
Yes; none are quicker to find out shams and "make-believes" than children. They can soon see what is behind the mask; and perhaps no spirit in a home is more calculated to make children hate and turn away from religion in disgust, and grow up in hatred and unbelief, than the spirit which whines and cants and professes to be what it really knows it is not. Children live too close to father and mother to be deceived by any whitewashed appearances. The theatrical performances in religion may deceive the gallery and those at a distance, outside the house, but by the fireside and in the daylight the paint and spangles avail not. The father may talk in public, or at, the tea-table when there is company, or he may enlarge in his prayers on love and uprightness, and self-sacrifice, and benevolence, but if the grand spirit of love, uprightness, sacrifice, and benevolence be wanting in that father's daily doings and sayings - if it be not the spirit of the house, controlling and fashioning the work, the pleasure, and the play, the children will find it out. They will pronounce all the talk and the preachments and the enforcement of it on themselves to be a deception, and reject the whole-good and bad together.
13. Is there any other spirit which makes against the good effect and right success of the training of children?
(5.) Yes, CENSORIOUSNESS. If parents are sour and hard to please, if they enjoy finding fault, looking for the mistakes and failures and infirmities of their children, rather than for the good that is in them, and for the good they have done or tried to do, they will be very likely to spoil and curtail much of what would otherwise be very effective teaching.
The mother or the father who begins the day carefully looking for the faults, the mistakes, and shortcomings in general of little children, will be very likely to go through the day in the same spirit, and be kept busily employed also. This spirit of fault-finding and condemnation will create a temper in the child which will go far towards making any number of faults to condemn. This tendency in parents should be fought against, prayed against, believed against, and conquered at all costs.
If children get a sort of feeling that mother or father is sure to find fault with them whether they have tried to do their lessons well or not, whether they have tried to be good or not, they will be very likely to end in despair, and give up trying altogether.
If you don't want your children to grow up in this spirit and finally go off from you in disgust, learn to be patient; look out for something to bless rather than to blame. Never condemn unless faithfulness to your child's highest interests demands it, and even then comply with the command of the Apostle, to be "easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."-James iii. 17.
14. Can you name any other usage or disposition which spoils the atmosphere of home for the training of children?
Yes; BAD TEMPER. There are different kinds of tempers: the quiet temper, the sullen temper, the irritable temper, and various modifications of the same. But any disposition displayed before the children which causes the parent to act otherwise than faithfully and justly, and forbearingly - even in the very spirit of Jesus Christ-is sadly to be deplored.
If parents have a passionate temper, or a queer temper, or a bad temper of any kind, very nearly the first business of their lives is to go to Jesus Christ, and let him take it away. Children are often very trying; and to be able to exhibit always before them a calm and self-composed temper may be very difficult, but it is most needful, not only for the sake of the children, but on account of that peace of mind which is essential to the happiness of the parent.
15. Is there any other spirit in the home which hinders the successful training of children?
Yes. WORLDLY PRIDE. There is nothing much more injurious to the training of children in the spirit of Jesus Christ, than that worldly pride which fills so many houses and curses thousands of little hearts.
In some homes it appears to be the great business of father and mother from week's end to week's end, the year round, to foster and feed and strengthen a spirit of empty, haughty pride, because of some superiority the family is supposed to possess in the way of wealth, or station, or learning, or beauty. To make their servants and neighbours and visitors and friends sensible of this superiority, is just the burden of their existence. They dress, and scheme, and contrive, in order worthily to support these inflated notions all their time. Only think of children being brought up in such an atmosphere as this! What hope can there possibly be of any good coming from lessons given at Church or Chapel, in the nursery or Barracks, or anywhere else, in favour of humility, meekness, gentleness of spirit, and the following of the Lord Jesus Christ generally?
One of the first notions about the Saviour of men taught in every professedly Christian home is that He, their example-although the King of Heaven-was "meek and lowly in heart." And at family prayer, and in Church and Chapel, children have read to them from their Bibles such exhortations as the following:-
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God; but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.-Phil. ii. 5-8.
And the first line of poetry generally taught the little ones is,
Gentle Jesus, meek and mild.
What a farce it is for parents to teach such sentiments, and to be asking God to make their children Christians, which really means to be like Jesus Christ, when all the time the whole spirit and bearing of the home is just as far from it as Hell is from Heaven! Yet this sort of thing is as common as can be very well imagined.
16. Can you name any other prevalent home hindrance to the successful training of children?
Yes, SELFISHNESS. Perhaps there is nothing more certain to counteract all and every form of what may be really good and well-adapted religious teaching than this spirit, which regards self-gratification as the first and great end of life. True religion is love. Christianity is love in action. It will be seen at a glance therefore, that no matter how wisely parents or other teachers of children may endeavour to impress the minds and hearts of children with Christian notions and feelings, or how persistently they may endeavour to lead them into the practice of a Christ-like life, their labour will be very largely thrown away, if mother and father and everybody around them are living to please themselves,
When the supreme concern of the entire family is to seek their own profit or pleasure or honour or something else that seems essential to their interests, how can the children be trained to a life-long supreme seeking of the things that are Jesus Christ's? In such a case they will soon find it out, and either be led to form an utterly false idea as to the real nature of religion or count the whole thing to be a mockery and a cheat.
17. Is there not another spirit, very nearly related to the last-named, which specially hinders the training of children to be Soldiers?
Yes, the SELFISH HOME SPIRIT. In most homes, the idea of comfort reigns supreme, and all arrangements are made so as to lead everyone to stay at home as much as possible.
The Salvation Soldier's home ought to be the most comfortable in the world, and every contrivance for resting and strengthening the body should be used; but always with this idea uppermost, that each one in the house is to be kept always ready for service; that the most is to be made of, each quarter of an hour there, and that all the system of the home is to be made to enable everyone to do the most work for God, to be out in all weathers without injury, and to be refreshed after extreme fatigue for God and souls. This will prevent the feeling ever creeping in of its being a cross to go and do duty for God.
18. Is there any other spirit which would interfere with the successful training of children?
Yes. We will only mention one more, but a most important one-UNWILLINGNESS TO BE AT TROUBLE.
Children cannot be trained, as we have already shown, and are going to set forth in the following pages, without a great deal of hard work; but a great many parents are too indolent, too lazy, to put forth the necessary effort to save their children from becoming worldly and bad, and going at last to Hell. But in substance we have said this before. Nevertheless, it is so important that we may have to say it again, and even then with what benefit remains to be seen.
CHAPTER IX: TEACHING.
1. What is the next condition of the successful training of children?
They should have correct teaching; that is, they must be made to understand, so far as they have capacity--
1. What they are, and what they may become.
2. The relation in which they stand to God.
3. Their relationship to those about them.
4. The kind of children God wants them to be,
5. Their privilege to know and enjoy God.
6. The sort of life God wants them to live.
God is as much concerned about the character and life of children as He is of grown up people. You will teach them to say every day of their lives, "Thy will be done," and you will desire that prayer to be answered in them, otherwise it will be useless for you to teach them to offer it. But how can your children do the will of God unless they are made to know what that will is? You must, therefore, teach them the exact truth about these important things as carefully as you seek to make them understand about earthly things -and even more so. Even when they have learned the truth about spiritual matters, you must lead them on to seek power to act in. accordance with it; and then the Spirit will set them free, and make them fit to go and help to set other children free.
2. But are children capable of understanding spiritual truths?
They will be if you teach them in a suitable way of course your teaching must be fitted to their intelligence and capacity.
(1.) So soon as the heart of the child can form any idea of God as a Supreme Being, the Holy Spirit will enable you to impress it with a sense of fear and love.
(2.) So soon as the child is capable of understanding that God has an authority over him, the Spirit will enable you to implant in him a feeling of respect for that authority.
(3.) As soon as the child is able to understand what it is to sin, or offend against that authority, the Spirit will enable you to produce conviction and a sense of sorrow for that offence, and to lead the child to seek forgiveness from God.
In teaching children, it must never be forgotten that we have the Divine assurance that a measure of the Holy Spirit is given to every human being, and that the Holy Spirit so given will co-operate with you in planting spiritual ideas, creating spiritual inspirations, and securing a real consecration of all that the child has to the service of the King.
3. At what age would you recommend that this religious instruction of children should commence?
You cannot begin too young. We fear that multitudes of persons fail with their children because they do not commence teaching them the things of the Kingdom. at a sufficiently early age.
If you have the Holy Ghost in your own heart, He will teach you. But we should say that you should begin to teach a child in this, as in other matters, as soon as it is capable of learning, and that will be as soon as it begins to take impressions from surrounding objects.
4. But will not such training as that which is proposed be calculated to make children melancholy?
Certainly not. For is it not exactly the sort of teaching and training that we give to adults, and do we not boast that to be properly saved and thoroughly given up to God ensures a. life of satisfaction and gladness? And if Salvation does this for men and women, why should it not for children?
But after all, the making of your children good is your first business, whether they axe happy or not. Happiness compared with this is a very small matter. Even if the whole-hearted following of Christ did fill men's hearts with sorrow, and little children's hearts too, that could not affect our obligation to teach the children to keep His commandments, and to imitate His example.
But We contend that goodness and happiness are inseparably joined together, and that the only way for children to be contented and cheerful is for them to be good, and the only way to goodness is by Jesus Christ. So shall "the peace of God keep [their] hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God " all their days.
5. But will not this teaching make children forward, destroy their simplicity, and fill them with conceit and unnatural self-importance?
We think not; nay, we are sure not! Of course, with children, as with adults, there may and will be instances in which the good intentions and wise instructions of God and man are perverted, and made the ministry of evil rather than good. We are not, however, to refrain from our efforts for the benefit of the children, because in some instances they may be perverted, any more than we should do in the case of adults. And we believe that the tendency of, the teaching which we propose will produce the fruits of the Spirit in the children, as surely as they will in men and women, some of which are enumerated by the Apostles: "The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance."
CHAPTER X: WHAT IS TO BE TAUGHT.
What course of religious instruction do you recommend should be given to children?
This is a very wide question, far beyond our opportunity to answer fully. Still we will point out a few leading truths which it is important should be impressed upon the children's minds as early as they will be able to comprehend them. Much that is said here we shall have occasion to refer to again and amplify as we proceed, and much of equal importance will be afterwards added.
(1.) Children should be made to know something about the existence and character of God and the relations in which He stands to them and to everybody and everything about them. They can be made very early to understand much concerning the power and wisdom of God by referring them to the wonderful things in creation. They can be readily shown that He made the world with all that it contains-the sun, moon, and stars, and all else that can be seen, and children will very soon and very easily be deeply impressed by the mighty power they will see to be necessary not only to make all these wonderful things, but to 'keep everything in its proper place, and to feed all the people, and animals, and birds, and living things the world contains.
(2.) The goodness and love of God should be explained to children very early in life.
It will not be found a very difficult task to make the little children perceive how good their Heavenly Father is; how He loves all the creatures He has made; and how He loves little children among the rest. Tell them how Christ loved them when He was on the earth, and took them in His arms and blessed them, and that He is the same to-day, yesterday, and for ever; and that if they want Him to love them, and will strive to be good and obedient, He will not only take them in His arms but let them live there on earth, and for ever in Heaven.
(3.) Nevertheless, children should be made carefully to understand the difference there is between the feelings God has towards those who are GOOD, and the feelings He entertains towards those who are WICKED. Show them that while He loves bad children and bad people with a love of pity, desiring to save them by making them good; yet, on the other hand, He loves good children and good people with approbation and delight. Explain what this means by showing the difference between your feelings towards them when they are good and when they are naughty, and they will soon be able to distinguish between' the pitying love of God for the sinner, and His hatred of his sins.
Multitudes entertain the notion that the only feelings entertained by God towards children are those of sweetness and love. They tell their children plainly that God's feelings are very similar towards both the just and the unjust, the evil and the good. Now children interpret all this talk to mean that God is just as well pleased with them when they are naughty as when they are good. The parents may not intend to convey this meaning, but that is how it strikes the little ones. A young child of an acquaintance of ours once said, when remonstrated with for disobedience, "Oh, but Ma says God loves me as much when I am naughty as when I am good." Such teaching of course is calculated to blot out of the child's mind the distinction between good and evil, and tends to make him believe that God puts no difference between the righteous and the wicked-a notion which He must abominate, for He tells us again and again that sin is of the devil and abhorrent to Him.
You ought to make your children feel that although God loves them tenderly, nevertheless He is angry with them when they do wrong; and that unless they repent and get His forgiveness, He must punish them. If you undermine and destroy those instinctive feelings of fear in'-connexion with sin which lie dormant in the very constitution of your children's minds, you will do them an incalculable and eternal injury, which will in all probability lead them to destruction.
If this is the way you deal with your children, it you are so foolish as to pet and spoil and caress them when they disobey you and set at naught your commands, by all that is sacred, do not make them believe that God is as foolish and blind and partial as you are. If you want your children to grow up good and to fight their way unhurt through the temptations which make the path they have to tread so slippery, for Christ's sake strengthen their power to resist evil by making them understand that the face of God is against them when they do WRONG, and that His nature and His word bind Him to hate and punish evil wherever it may be, or by whomsoever it may be enacted. He is a God who cannot "look upon iniquity," who must bring "tribulation and anguish upon every soul of man that doeth evil," as well as "glory, honour and peace to every man that worketh good" (Rom. ii. 9. 10). So shall your children fear to do wrong, because they know, not only that His eye is quick to mark, but that His hand is swift and sworn to punish wrong-doing if persevered in.
On the other hand, we would say, with equal emphasis, fill the hearts of your little children with the assurance that He is merciful, and that all the loving tenderness of His heart will flow out of them, and does flow out of them, when they are good and obedient, or when they repent of wrongdoing and come to Him for pardon.
If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: but if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the word for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.--Is. i. 19, 20.
The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life.-- Rom. vi. 23.
(4.) Make the children understand the true nature of sin as consisting in wrongdoing, and that all unrighteousness-everything not right--is sin. Show them that the reason why sin is so hateful to God is because it is not right.
(5.) Teach your children very early the principal events of Scripture history. Especially make them familiar with the history and teaching of the Saviour. Such books as the II Peep of Day " series are useful; but after all, nothing got from books is of so great service as explanations and illustrations made by parents themselves. Such illustrations may be very inferior, but there is a life and meaning and force in words spoken directly from a prayerful heart superior to anything that can be got out of a book.
(6.) The little ones should NOT be taught that they are children of the devil, because it is not true, and because no Christian parents really believe it is so.
No! No! Teach the children that they belong to Jesus Christ; that He has bought them; that His Spirit is working in them; that He wants to destroy everything that is naughty out of their hearts; and that He will do this if they will let Him. While you thus teach, the light will grow stronger, and it may be any moment the faith that takes hold of Jesus as a present Saviour will spring up in their souls, and the Holy Spirit will witness within them that their sins axe forgiven, and that they are received as children into the family of God. Thus shall they be made little Saints and little Soldiers for the King. And you shall have the joy of nurturing the Divine life, thus commenced within them, into perfect manhood and womanhood.
(7.) If your children have reached years of responsibility and have not been converted, they should be made to understand as follows:-
1. That God is not only willing but anxious, for Christ's sake, to pardon their sins, and become at once, as a natural consequence, their Father and Friend.
2. That God not only wants to subdue and destroy power of evil out of their nature, but to make and keep them holy-that is, free from sin.
3. That He wants to make them His Servants and Soldiers, and to use them in instructing and leading their brothers, sisters, schoolfellows, playmates, and others to the Saviour.
4. That it is their privilege, and may be their glory, to lead lives of self-sacrifice and hardship, in order to, win souls for Christ.
In view of all this, children should be urged on all opportunities, just as pressingly as we urge grown-up people, to give themselves to Jesus, to renounce all their evil ways, and devote themselves and all their lives to the service of God.
(8.) Children should be made to understand, as far as they are able, that true religion consists in A PURE SPIRIT OF LOVE IN THE SOUL created and sustained by God Himself. Show them that this is the only religion acceptable to God and profitable to man; that if it be real, it will be the spirit of purity, and truth, and goodness; that it is the very nature of it to be pure, and true, and good, and affectionate, and that if it is so, it must manifest itself in love to God and love to man, according to the Saviour's own description. When He was asked, "Which is the great commandment in the law? " He said,
Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.- Matt. xxii. 37-40.
Love is the fulfilling of the law.-Rom. xiii. 10.
In other words, religion in its nature is like God, and God is love."
By thus explaining to the children what the very essence and nature of real religion is, you will be able to make them perceive the character of some of the imitations, of which there are so many, and so lessen the danger of their being carried away by them in the future.
With respect to the false representations of religion, you will be able to make them see that: -
1. True religion does not consist in any SET OF OPINIONS merely. People can hold, or what they call "believe," a great many things that are true about God and Salvation, and they may believe all that is said in the Bible from beginning to end; in short, their creed or opinions about God and religion may be all but perfed, and yet they may have No REAL RELIGION, because their hearts have not been subdued and mastered and filled with this spirit of love.
2. True religion does not consist in any FORMS OR CEREMONIES, or in any outward performances whatever, such as attending church, going to religious meetings, singing hymns, saying prayers, receiving the sacrament, or any other outward ordinances, whether they be ordinances of the denominations, of The Salvation Army, or anything else.
3. True religion does not consist in any nice and GOOD FEELINGS merely. People may have nice feelings about Heaven, and have strong desires to go there, but this does not prove that they have got the religion of God. Show children how possible it is for them to think about Heaven as a place of rest from pain and hard work, and being naughty; where they can always be playing and amusing themselves, and having music, and parties, and other enjoyments, and they will be quite delighted with the thought of going there when they cannot stop here any longer; or they might even want to go there right off, in the same way as they would want to go to any earthly place of entertainment or enjoyment. But this would not prove that they had any real religion, which means love to God and man.
Show your children, again, that their grieving and weeping when you tell them the story of the Cross are no proof that they possess true religion. There are many stories about human suffering and anguish that would make them weep. You might tell them of the sufferings of missionaries, or of martyrs, or of other people who have suffered in connexion with religion, till they cried as if their hearts would break; but this would not prove that their hearts have been changed, or that they are under the influence of the spirit of Divine love.
Real religion is something beyond all this. It is the spirit of love to God and those about them, feeling as God feels and acting, in consequence, as God acts; it is love that is ready to prove itself in any form of self-denying sacrifice that the Loving Saviour may unfold, and which is of the same kind as that which brought Him from the joys of Heaven to earth, not to please Himself," but to seek and to save that which was lost. Now this may seem a hard lesson for children, but you must make it simple, and go over and over again with it. It will pay you well to be at the trouble, Read to them when old enough to understand it, 1 Corinthians xiii., and explain it as you go on. They will soon take it in and get from it a clearer view of real religion than from many ordinary books, lectures, and sermons.
Here, as on all other questions, you may very profitably use illustrations to explain what you mean. You might show them what a tree would be without any sap in it; what an animal would be without any life; what a body would be without any soul. And so they will be brought to see how powerless and odious and rotten all religious professions and practices and notions and feelings are without this Divine sap, this Heavenly life, this Divine love which dwells in the soul of every true Saint, constituting his power for endurance and service, and which at the gates of Heaven will make him meet to be a partaker of the inheritance of the Saints in light.
(9.) But you must be very careful to make the children perceive, that this spirit of love will always manifest itself, wherever it has any existence, in APPROPRIATE WORKS. A good heart always produces a good life.
Make them understand that true religion, or in other words, rightness of heart and life, means having the heart made right, and being brought under the influence of aright spirit, and given up to doing right continually. This always means practising kindness, speaking and acting the truth, being obedient to parents and superiors, and honourably and steadily doing such duties as fall to them in their lot in life. Explain that the purpose of God in all His dealings with them is to make them GOOD. Make them feel that it is a noble thing for a child, for a woman, or for a man to do their duty in every relation of life, whether as child or parent, master or servant; not for reward or admiration, or even the approbation of those who are around them, but for its own sake, and above all, TO PLEASE GOD. Show the children that He has taught us that we are not to do any part of our duty with eye-service, that is, to please those who are looking on, or for any pay they may give; but whether we eat or drink, or whatsoever we do, we are to do all to the glory of God, that is, to please Him. Thus the child is to learn its lessons, the servant is to do his master's bidding, and the master is to plan his work and his profits, not for an earthly reward or earthly approbation, but as much to please God as he reads his Bible, offers prayer, or speaks in the Barracks.
(10.) If your children are carefully instructed as to the nature of true godliness, they will be able to distinguish between those who serve God and those who serve Him not. They will soon be able to judge between those who are the real. Soldiers of Salvation and those who have a form of godliness but deny the power thereof, having neither part nor lot in the matter.
It will not be difficult for children to understand that every tree is known by its fruit-that a good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a bad tree bring forth good fruit. Just so, the children will find no difficulty in perceiving that if a man is right in his heart his conversation and actions will be right also, while, on the other hand, if a man's conversation and actions are wrong it will be a proof that his heart is wrong. If this is made clear to the children, and they are taught by the Spirit of God, their own instincts will lead them to form quite as correct judgments of character as the grown-up people round about them. Nay, the children will be more likely to be correct, sometimes, than are grown-up people, because they are more simple and sincere, and so are less likely to be influenced by those feelings of self -interest or false benevolence which so often influence the judgment of older people.
It may be objected to the giving of such instruction to children that it is setting them up to form a judgment of their elders for which their age and inexperience altogether unfit them; and it may be objected also that the forming of such judgment is calculated to make them forward, conceited, and censorious.
To such charges it can be replied:--
1. That if the children know and care anything at all about religion they will reckon up everybody about them in relation to it, whether you wish them to do so or not.
2. That it is therefore much the best for you to supply them with such information on the subject as will enable them to come to a correct conclusion; especially is it so, seeing that you can with this information show them that all their judgments must be formed in a charitable spirit, and that it is not their place to give opinions unless asked for, or necessary.
3. That at the same time it must always be remembered that the exhaustless stores of kindness, which are laid up in the hearts of most children, will, as a rule, lead them to form kind judgments of the conduct and character of their relatives and friends and acquaintances.
(11.) Children should be taught that there is an inseparable connexion between goodness and happiness. Teach them that no matter how or when or where they seek for happiness, they will never find it without goodness. Show them the difference between happiness and pleasure. Tell them that they may have their hearts stirred with transitory feelings of delight; that they may be agreeably excited by a thousand different objects, but that there will be no lasting satisfying gladness of heart without goodness. Let them understand that there is no power in company or wealth or honour or music or any other earthly thing, permanently to feed and satisfy and gladden the human heart apart from goodness. If they have all things apart from being good they will be restless and miserable. If they have none of these things and yet have the testimony of a good conscience, and walk in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, they will have a peace compared with which all the pleasures of the world are as dung and dross, a peace which will endure unto everlasting life. Write it upon their hearts, fasten it ineffaceably on their memories-that if they are to be happy they must be good.
(12.) Children should be given, as soon as they are able to understand, the true explanation of the work of the Lord Jesus Christ. A plain path for infidelity has been prepared, and thousands of infidels have been made, by false and unscriptural views of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Children should be shown by language and illustrations adapted to their capacity that it was not the death of Jesus Christ that made God willing to save them, but that it was the Father's love for the world and His desire to save it, that made Him give His Son to suffer and die. Show them that when the Great Father saw us all condemned to everlasting death He wanted very much to forgive and make us good and happy again, but that He had to consider the welfare of others and the honour of the law we had broken. If He bad forgiven us without the sacrifice of His Son the inhabitants of other worlds and the angels of Heaven might have said, "Oh, it does not matter about breaking God's laws; we have only to say we are sorry and He will make things right." And so the holy laws of God would have been thought little of; and to meet this difficulty Jesus Christ, though the only Son of the Father, came and suffered as a sacrifice for us, and magnified the importance of the law man had broken,. and at the same time made a way for full deliverance from its penalty.
(13.) As soon as old enough, teach your children that the Holy Spirit is already in their hearts helping them to be good and to get the victory over all the evil that is in them, and over everything that is evil about them, and that if they will obey this Spirit He will stay with them for ever.
(14.) Make your children understand that Salvation, from first to last, is the FREE GIFT OF GOD; that they can do nothing to merit the mercy of God; that there is nothing meritorious required on their part; that the Saviour's life and death have opened a way by which all the mercy they need for the past, and all the grace they require for the present and the future can flow out into their hearts and lives and homes in abundant measure; that they can have all they want of pardon and purity and peace and power,-nay, more than they can either ask or think, to enable them to live happy, holy, and useful lives, pleasing to God and profitable to men.
(15.) Teach your children plainly that Salvation is only received and retained on the conditions of repentance and faith. Make them understand that notwithstanding God is so willing and anxious to make them happy and good that He may truly be said to be standing at the door of their hearts, if they are not already saved, knocking and praying to come in, still they can only be saved by submitting themselves to God and by trusting in Jesus Christ. Show them that they may weep and pray and go through religious performances for ever, but that if they will not come to His terms and comply with His conditions they cannot have His presence or the blessedness which always accompanies it. (See chapter "Saving the children," further on in this book.)
(16.) You must very early implant in the children's minds clear views of their individual responsibility for their own character, conduct, and condition, both here and hereafter. Make them understand that both on earth and in heaven they will be just such persons, and have just such a condition of happiness or misery, as they make for themselves. That their destiny is in their own hands; that the bed they lie upon, both for this world and the next, will be of their own making, and instead of their circumstances and surroundings being allowed to control an master them, as is the case with multitudes of people, it is their place to master and control their circumstances and surroundings. Show them that this is true with regard to their earthly prospects, which it will be very easy for you to do. Explain to them that if they work hard, deny themselves, do their lessons at school) or are diligent in learning a trade or other earthly duties, they will reap the advantage of being good scholars, or good workmen, or reliable business men, with all the rewards that follow in the future. But if they are lazy and careless, and prefer the pleasure of the present moment to their future good, they will be ignorant and helpless, unfitted for the work of life, and probably left to shame, disgrace, and poverty. Go over and over and over again with this lesson. Then show them how equally true it is of their moral and spiritual character and condition-their standing before God, and their everlasting destiny.
The strong instinct in the breast of all children which bears witness to their own responsibility for their character and condition, may be so strengthened and so instructed that they shall, all the way through life, blame themselves when they do wrong or when they refuse to do right. This will help to make them hardy moral characters, robust and enduring in all the storms and difficulties of their coming career.
(17.) Your children must be taught in the most clear and definite manner possible, that God is the absolute owner of the world in general, and of them in particular. That whatever they may possess, or hereafter become possessed of, in the way of talents, attainments, influence, or possessions, are from God; that they are only lent them for a season and are to be used, not for their own gratification, but for the good of others and for the glory of God. In short, that they are stewards entrusted with these things for the honour of their Great Proprietor, and that they will have to give an account of the way they have discharged their stewardship.
Nay; more than this, explain to them how you have pledged them to all you teach. That they are therefore not their own; that you have recognized God's claims and given them away to Him; and lay upon their hearts what a solemn responsibility it will be if they take themselves off the altar on which you have in so solemn a manner placed them.
These important truths should be explained to them again and again. There should be line upon line, with ever varying forms of illustration, until they understand and believe them, and are prepared to carry them out in their everyday practice, or suffer unending reproach from their consciences for neglecting to do so.
(18.) Children should be trained up in the expectation of the great final judgment, when the wicked people will be sent away into everlasting punishment and the righteous into life eternal!
CHAPTER XI: TRAINING.
1. Is there anything further of importance to be said on this subject?
Oh, yes, a great deal-we have scarcely made a beginning. The most important part of the topic has yet to be dealt with. Many parents, we fear, go very little further than we have gone, so far, and hence the miserable failures they make, which are only too evident in every direction.
It is immensely important that the children should be instructed-should have the way of duty explained to them, and should be made to understand things so far as their capacity will admit. But when parents stop here, they only discharge half their duty, and a very poor half, too-they must go on to train them as well.
2. Is there a difference, then, between TEACHING and TRAINING?
Yes, a most important one indeed-a difference which should be carefully noted by all parents. In teaching the children we more especially influence their minds; in training them we specially deal with their wills-that is, with their hearts. When we teach them we show them what they ought to do; when we train them we accustom them to do it. In teaching the children we show them how to do their duty and why it should be done, but in training we create in them the habit of doing it.
You know how to train a tree so that it shall take a desired direction, and be a different shape to what it would be if left to itself. You prune and straighten and take hold of its branches, and point them in a certain direction, and fasten them there until it grows and shapes itself after the fashion you wish, of its own accord.
You know how to train an animal; you make it do certain things and act in a certain way differently to what it would otherwise have done, and you make it do it so over and over again, until it does the same things of its own choice. Just so with your children; you want them to take a certain course in their feelings, thoughts, and acts, contrary to what they would otherwise pursue. Therefore you must take hold of them in an appropriate way, as you do of the tree and the animal, and give them the bent and direction you want them to take. And having begun to make them go in your way (which will be the right way) you must keep on making them go forward in that direction, until it becomes as natural and easy for them to go forward doing right-which is acting as you like-as it was before for them to do as they liked, which was just the opposite.
3. Is it common for parents to train their children in this way for the service of God?
Oh, dear, no! quite otherwise. There is nothing more common than to find children with their heads full of notions about religion, knowing Bible stories off by heart, all about the love of God, and the death of His Son, and how His servants suffered and fought and died in keeping His commands in the days of old. But when you ask them about their own Salvation, they are as ignorant and feelingless as young savages. They will keep you by the hour showing you Bible pictures and story books, reciting texts learnt at Sunday school and at home, but as to any experimental, practical religion of their own they have nothing to say. They neither know nor feel anything about it, and that just because they have never been trained to personal dealing with God, to the real surrender of themselves to Jesus Christ, and the personal reception of the Spirit of God which would have made religion an actual life and power to them.
If you want your children to walk with God and serve Him, you will have to make them do it. You will have to take them by the hand, as we propose showing you in the following pages, and lead them on step by step. Just in the same way as you teach them to walk physically, letting them find their feet at first, then showing and encouraging them to stand alone, and then to take the first step, and so on, with all patience and perseverance, until they can walk and run and leap alone. In this way you will show them how to run the way of God's commandments. After this fashion many parents teach the theory of religion. Go and do likewise with the practice of it! And the doing of this is a very important part of what we term training.
4. Then it is very important that parents and others who have the charge of children, should carefully observe the distinction between TEACHING and TRAINING?
Yes; from forgetting this great difference, as we have already said, come many of the disappointments that parents suffer in the miserable manner their children turn out. They think that when they have taught them good lessons about the love of God, the Bible, and duty, or employed someone else to do this, they have done all that is required of them, and all that is necessary to lead them in the paths of righteousness. Perhaps all the time, however, the instruction imparted has only added to the dislike already felt by the children for doing what they already knew.
5. But does not this training of children, of which you are speaking, call for great exertion and self-denial on the part of the parents?
Yes, we have already remarked this, and shall have occasion to do so again and again as we go forward; but if parents desire that their children shall be saved, and grow up to be of service to the Master, they must not grudge the pains and efforts and self -denial that the work may cost them. Moreover, in the long run, it will be found by far the easier course to the parent. That is, those who bend themselves to the task, sparing no amount of labour in the beginning, will find the task become easier and easier as the days go by, and on the whole will find far less wear and tear of both mind and heart in making Saints and Soldiers of their children than they would by indolently allowing them to have their own way and grow up in self-indulgence and sin.
No more insane course could be taken with children than that followed by many parents, who, so far as training goes, do little more than allow them to drift and take their luck. Alas, alas! if the parent does not train them in goodness, somebody is training them for evil all the time! If parents will sleep in idleness, ease, and self-gratification, there are plenty of industrious devils and industrious people of both sexes, too, as far as that goes, to sow the poisonous tares, and then there is often an awful waking up of the sleepers, who wring their hands and tear their hair on finding that the rank and poisonous seed has taken root too deeply for them to extract it. With their own eyes they only too often see the bitter harvest. Here and there other hearts and hands make up for the parents' neglect, and here and there, as though by miracle, God interferes and prevents the natural results. But as a rule, if a parent sows to his own fleshly gratification, and neglects to care for the little ones, he shall reap corruption-that is, he shall have sorrow and loss for himself and for his offspring also.
CHAPTER XII: OBEDIENCE.
1. Having explained in the last chapter the difference between training and teaching, will you show more particularly in what respect this training is to be given?
Children must be trained in habits favourable to their happiness, usefulness, and Salvation.
2. What do you mean by habit?
I mean that something within us which leads us to do a thing or leave a thing undone one time, because we have done that thing or left it undone many times before. That is to say, a child getting up at an early hour for several mornings together, will find it easy, if he does not actually prefer, to get up at that hour in future.
3. Are people very much influenced in their conduct by habit?
Yes, very much so, and no persons more so than children. Almost everybody do things not so much because they ought to do them as from custom, or, in other words, because they have done them frequently before. Therefore, make it the habit of your children to do right. Do this when they are young. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" is only an illustration of this. Habits formed in childhood are stronger by far than those formed in riper years.
4. Is there any one habit in a child which you consider of greater importance than any other?
Yes; perhaps there is none of such infinite value, both to the welfare of the child and to the happiness and welfare of, everyone about him, as that of obedience.
5. What do you mean by obedience?
I MEAN THAT THE CHILD SHALL DO EXACTLY AS HE IS TOLD WITHOUT HESITATION, AND THAT THIS OBEDIENCE SHALL BE RENDERED WITHOUT ANY CONSIDERATION OF PUNISHMENT OR REWARD.
6. What is intended by training in obedience?
I mean that the habit and custom of obedience must be so created and strengthened in the child that he shall find it natural and easy to obey those in authority over him so far as he has ability to do so.
7. Is not the training of children in this habit of ready and joyful obedience very important?
Most certainly. In fact, the want of it is perhaps the reason for the greater number of those deplorable failures in training which we see in every direction both in the religious world and outside of it. You may teach and pray, weep over and labour for the happiness and Salvation of your children in the most self-sacrificing manner, and use every other means to promote their welfare, but without a willing and joyful spirit of obedience to your wishes and commands, all will be thrown away. Without this spirit there is little room to hope for the happiness of your children either in this world or the next.
Here is the ground on which ordinarily the first battle in the right training of children has to be fought, and the sooner it is begun and over in your favour, the better both for you and them.
Pushed to a point, the question may be put--Shall a child grow up with the notion that he is to have his own way or your way? He will want the former, and in many cases will make a very strong fight for it; but you must hold out,-have no compromise, have no half measures. He must come to understand that it is for his own good and for every body else's good that he shall accept your will and word as his law, and do as you wish and command, whether he likes it or not, and that without any reasoning or questioning whatever.
8. Is it not surprising that in many families where there is so much religious teaching and prayer, and real devotion, all parental authority is set at naught, or nearly so?
Yes; there are few things more surprising, except it be the pitiable wailing and lamentation set up every now and then by parents, concerning their own helplessness in the matter. For, alas! it is no uncommon thing to see children, and not very old ones either, who not only disregard the authority of their parents, but openly ridicule any occasional claims such parents may make in the vain attempt to gain any respect or obedience. And this occurs in families where the children are supposed to be in the process of quite a religious training. At home, abroad, at work, at play, the children will either regard commands with indifference, or they will argue, and contradict, or set up their own judgment in opposition, and flatly refuse to comply. In other instances, where the children are too young to argue and contradict in words, they will whine and cry and throw -themselves about with passionate exclamations, making their parents, and everybody else who happen to be present to witness their humiliation, supremely wretched. Instead of the parents, such little untaught children show themselves to be the masters of the situation.
9. But does not the absence of obedience to the authority of parents lead to much misery?
Yes, alas! it is the certain cause of much wretchedness. Show me a family where the children constantly contend for their own way, and where they have their own way, and I will show you a family of misery already begun-wait a bit, and it will be perfected. Show me a family-from the youngest child, just old enough to know his right hand from his left, up to the oldest, a strapping young fellow, far on in his teens-where each member accepts without demur the will of father and mother as their own, and honours that will with a loving, faithful obedience, and I will show you a family possessed of peace and strength and usefulness and happiness here-a family on the highway to have all this blessedness completed in Paradise
Spoiled, self-willed children make their homes miserable while young, and break the hearts of their parents in riper years. They grow up utterly unfit to become husbands or wives or parents themselves; and too often, unless prevented by the strong arm of God's mercy, as soon as left to themselves, throw off all regard for His rule, and end in damnation in the world to come. There, alas! it is to be feared, they not unfrequently meet their foolish, overindulgent parents, to reproach them for withholding that necessary and legitimate authority, which, under God, might have saved them from such a fate.
10. How to all this to be remedied; or rather, how is this misery to be prevented?
Let it be the law of your house, that under all and every circumstance, your wishes as a parent shall be obeyed. You axe responsible to God for the character and consequences of your commands, and also for seeing them carried out; and you will be called upon in the last great day to say how this duty has been discharged. You must, therefore, see the importance of this habit of obedience in your child, and be determined to have it formed.
Consider the matter well. Think how helpless a captain would be in the command or guidance of his ship unless he could rely upon the uniform obedience of his crew. Think how helpless an officer would be in the day of battle unless he could reckon with every confidence on the fulfilment of his orders by his troops. And in your home think how powerless you will be to guide your children, and establish them in habits of duty, love, and righteousness towards God and man, unless you can reckon, under all. circumstances, upon unbroken, unswerving obedience.
11. I presume, then, you mean that before the child comes to understand his duty to obey GOD, he must be made to obey his PARENTS and those in authority over him?
Exactly so. As we have observed before, a parent stands in the place of God to his child, and is regarded with his first opening intelligence with all the awe and reverence his little mind is capable of. If this authority be maintained and increased by the wise and holy conduct of the parent, the child will not dare to think of doing otherwise than obey; and so when the existence of God is revealed to the child, and His claims for service are pressed upon him by the Holy Spirit, the child will find it comparatively easy to transfer this obedient reverence from the parent to God.
12. But is it not very difficult to create in the minds of little children, or big ones either, this habit of always doing as they are wished?
No; if you will take the counsels we propose to give you, and act upon them, not allowing any foolish fondness to turn you from your purpose, you will not find it difficult at all.
CHAPTER XIII: CREATION OF HABITS OF OBEDIENCE.
1. What counsels do you give on this matter? Or rather, how is this habit of obedience to be created and strengthened in the children?
(1.) Begin early. You cannot begin too soon. Insist on obedience to your wishes and commands from the infancy of the child. Multitudes of parents make the fatal mistake of not commencing soon enough. The child is allowed to have its own way, and be master of its own actions until its self will has become established. When the parent commences to assert his authority, he finds the child strongly entrenched in the habit of disobedience, and, prepared to fight as to Whether he, or his father or mother, shall be the master.
If Salvationists want to make Saints and Soldiers of their children they must commence at the start to plant in them that spirit of obedience which is the foundation of all true discipline, and without which it is impossible for there to be-any true religion.
(2.) Love them and bear with them. Reason with them all the patience, longsuffering, and tender pity that a lather's or a mother's heart can inspire; but obey they must, and that from the first.
(3.) Let your manner from the first be that which indicates your determination to be obeyed. There is a firm way of dealing, even with a baby-a manner of handling an infant which, while perfectly consistent with tenderness, gives to the child the idea that it must submit to a second party who is too powerful and determined to be resisted. There is a firm tone in which you can express your wishes and commands, that will show your children that you are not to be trifled with.
We don't advocate any harshness. God forbid! And if the advice we enjoin is acted upon, rather than making misery for your children, it will prevent numberless sorrows and wailings, the inseparable accompaniment of ordinary over-indulgent training. Nevertheless, obedience must be secured, whatever sighing or sorrowing, or even suffering, on the part of your children or yourself may be the price of it.
(4.) Having given a command, always be at the trouble, to see it obeyed. The most effectual way to teach your children disobedience is to give your commands in a loose, uncertain way, and then take no notice whether they are obeyed or not. And yet this is one of the most common errors into which parents fall.
How frequently we hear something like the following. A mother says-
"Mary, close that door."
Mary takes no notice of her mother, but goes on with the important task of dressing her doll.
Presently her mother feels the cold draught from the door, and again appeals to Mary to close the door.
To which appeal Mary responds by running after her brother, whom she hears calling her name in some other part of the house, leaving her mother to close the door herself, wondering all the while why her children are so disobedient.
Again. John has a very severe cold, and the doctor says that on no account must he leave the room. Mother has occasion to go into the garden; John, unperceived at first, follows her.
The mother says-
"John, you must not come out here. Remember what the doctor said; you will be ill."
John goes on just the same, running scampering all around, and the only protest the mother makes is to tell him that he is a naughty boy, and will be laid up with rheumatic fever again.
And so the matter ends; and yet it does not end there. If the evil consequence of the rheumatic fever which the mother fears comes not, other consequences more evil still must inevitably follow; for if the mother's purpose in this, and in all similar instances, were to make the child self-willed and disobedient, she could not take a more effectual course to bring it about.
How common it is for fathers to give commands to their children respecting their duties, lessons, companions, or their play, and then to make no after enquiries as to whether these commands have been obeyed. Better far not to command than not to have your commands respected. But, best of all, and the only lawful and admissible course for Salvationists, is to give all necessary instructions to their children, and then themselves be at the trouble to see that they are honestly carried out.
This will all come about much more easily than those who have never attempted it would imagine. If obedience be your rule from the first it will follow, as matter of course; your children will be so impressed with the power and authority of their parents, and so accustomed to obey their commands, that they will never dream of doing anything else.
(5.) Never accept any excuses, or under any circumstances allow your wishes deliberately to be set at naught. Remember, that not only is the spirit of disobedience a sin against your authority, but that any single act thereof is a step in the direction of the formation of the habit. If a child be allowed only once to disobey you, without being made to regret it, and to promise to do so no more, you may safely reckon that he will recollect his triumph over you, and be encouraged to attempt the same thing again. There must be no mistake here - unvarying obedience must be your law, and you must make your children understand this.
There must be no exception to this rule. That is, you must not permit disobedience in one child more than in another, or at one time more than another. We know in many instances this rule of obedience is made in a house and then set aside, first on one excuse and then on another. There are very few parents who have disobedient children who are not ashamed of them, and who don't try to excuse them, not only to the friends who may be about, but to themselves, and even to the children. At one time they will say they are too young, at another they are too sick, at another they are so beautiful. We have heard a mother excuse the contempt which a beautiful boy has shown to her commands by saying he was so like his father that she could not find in her heart to be angry with him, while a daughter will be excused because she is the image of her sister who is gone to Heaven. In consequence of the great love with which the fond mother cherished the memory of the departed child she could not chastise the disobedient one she had left.
Most of these excuses, rather than being reasons for allowing disobedience to go unpunished, are just the reasons for the contrary course.
For example, it very often happens that there will be only one child in a family. In such cases it is natural to expect that the parents would say to themselves, " We have only this one child, we will therefore make the very most of him; we will so train him that he shall come to enjoy the largest amount of personal happiness, and be best fitted to make joy and happiness for his parents and for everybody about him. To do this we will bring the child up with all regard and reverence for authority; we will early subdue his will, and make him gentle, and humble, and obedient, and good." Instead of this how many parents in the circumstances referred to, take just the opposite course and allow the child to grow up in all manner of selfish indulgence, self-will, and disregard for authority --indifferent alike to both the claims of parents and of God.
Alas! alas! it frequently happens that parents have bitter reason to deplore such a course. After torturing them in his childhood, nearly driving them frantic in his youth, and breaking their hearts in his manhood, they wonderingly enquire how it has come to pass. They consider how tenderly and prayerfully they watched over his boyhood and attribute his wild uncurbed self-will to his naturally wayward disposition, or throw the blame back upon some peculiar notion of Divine sovereignty, concluding, either way, that God has dealt hardly with them!
Again, it is no uncommon thing to see beautiful children ruined during some serious illness by foolish indulgence. Fond parents are often afraid of crossing the wills of sick children, and refrain from the exercise of authority, fearing lest by making them unhappy they should increase their malady or retard their recovery. This, even if it did follow, would be a slight evil compared with the mental and spiritual ruin which such indulgence tends to. If the little ones are accustomed to obey in health there will be no difficulty with them when they are sick. But surely it would be a double calamity to make the bodily sickness of the children an occasion and an excuse for weakening or destroying that habit of obedience on which their earthly and heavenly happiness depends far more than on their bodily health and comfort. As far as is consistent, therefore, with all affectionate tenderness, let obedience be insisted upon, whether the children be sick or well.
IF YOU ARE WISE PARENTS, YOU WILL ALLOW NO EXCUSE THAT CAN BE COINED IN THE INGENIOUS BRAINS OF CHILDREN, OR SUGGESTED BY THE SILLY FONDNESS OR CULPABLE IDLENESS OF OLDER PEOPLE TO JUSTIFY THE DISOBEDIENCE OF YOUR LITTLE ONES.
(6.) Never practice the abominable habit of bribing your children in order to secure obedience. This folly, one would think, would need only to be named in order to be avoided, and yet how often we see it practised! Little things, just able to run, whom we should naturally expect to stand in awe of any command given by father or mother, we often see pouting and whining when asked to do some little act to which they are disinclined, and refusing to obey until they are offered sweets, or sugar, or a kiss, or some other bribe. This done, the little lords and ladies condescend to do as they are desired.
Anyone with half an eye can see how ruinous such a practice must be, and how calculated to create an undue sense of self-importance and independence in the child. "No bribery" should be the inexorable rule of every Salvationist's home. Paying the children with sweetmeats and dainties to cease crying, or to be well behaved when there is company or on other occasions, is but teaching them to sham and seem to be what they are not. Nay, it is an actual education of them in cheating, for children so dealt with must be very young and very foolish not to observe that to be pitied and rewarded they have only to whine and cry and make a disturbance.
Don't on any account take a course calculated to make your children little miserable sensualists and cunning deceivers from their very cradles!
(7.) In giving a command never allow the children to hold any argument with respect to it. In some families this custom keeps up a continued ferment, destructive of the general peace of the household, and disastrous to all good discipline in the children themselves. "What for?" and "Why should I?' are the common answers to almost every request made by those in authority, instead of a ready and cheerful willingness to obey. Children, like true Soldiers, should always be prepared to run, fetch, and carry, or do whatever is required, simply at the word of command, regardless of the pleasantness or unpleasantness of the duty. The homes of Salvation Soldiers should in this respect be preparatory drill-grounds where the children are prepared for active service in the Salvation War, and one of the first necessities and principles in every effective army is unquestioning and unhesitating obedience.
(8.) Nevertheless, when commands are given, known to be specially important, or disagreeable to the children, it is always wise, where there is opportunity, to accompany them with such explanations, adapted to their age and intelligence, as are calculated to make the children see the prudence and necessity of your wishes. It will be seen that this is a very different thing to the hateful practice just referred to of arguing with children whenever they are wanted to discharge a duty. But there are times when it is wise for parents and superior officers to carry with them, as far as possible, in all exertions of their authority the intelligence of those under them.
One of the greatest mistakes in dealing with children is to under-estimate their intelligence. There are very few households in which all the children, down to the baby, are not much more intelligent than they are given credit for; and you must never rely upon force and fear to accomplish what can be done by the exercise of higher motives. Therefore it is most desirable to give all possible instructions as to the nature and necessity of the duties you impose, especially when they are likely to be difficult or unpleasant. Instances of this kind will readily occur to the minds of parents-such as going to bed early when some special attraction would incline the children to sit up, difficult school tasks, taking disagreeable medicine, and the like. What we wish to impress is that while children are to be taught implicit obedience, yet when there is the opportunity, and matters are of sufficient importance to justify it, such information should be given the child as shall show that the task enjoined upon him is necessary and important either to his own welfare, or to the welfare of others, and is not merely to meet the arbitrary and selfish requirements of those in authority over him.
(9.) Parents should not only insist that the commands they themselves give to their children should be strictly obeyed, but that the authority they delegate to other persons shall be respected also. Servants, nurses, or governesses (where such are kept), or any other persons whom parents place over their children, should be obeyed exactly after the same fashion. Of course, this implies that your servants, if you keep any, shall be worthy of your trust, and be such as you can command your children to look up to and obey; if they are not so, you had better be without them ten thousand times, so far as your children are concerned, because ten to one but they will make them like unto themselves.
If servants are worthy of your confidence it is most unjust to make them responsible for the conduct of your children, and yet not give them due authority. But this is commonly done, and the injustice thus practised on the servants is only a small part of the evil, the children being the greatest sufferers. To have servants placed nominally over them but who in reality have no power to enforce their commands is soon found out by the children and taken every advantage of, not only creating temporary miseries, but doing the children incalculable and permanent injury. This treatment degrades servants into little less than slaves, and destroys the simplicity of the children, inflating them with an imagined superiority, making them pettish, exacting, unreasonable, and passionate; in short, little tyrants, often more fit for a menagerie of wild beasts than a nursery, and more like little fiends than the mouldable, tractable innocents of whom the Master said, "Of such is the kingdom of Heaven." Entrust your children to no servants in whom you cannot reasonably place confidence, but having confidence in them, give them a due measure of authority.
2. But do you recommend that the wills of children should be actually broken and destroyed?
Of course not; we only use the word "broken" in the same sense as we apply it to the breaking in of a horse. The more powerful the spirit of the animal the better, if it be under the direction and restraint of its driver. And the more powerful and energetic the will of the child the better, if that will be under the control and direction of those who are in authority over it and who understand what course of life is best to be taken.
Perhaps it would be better to say "bend " rather than "break" the wills of your children. Turn them from the wild and injurious direction which they would take if left to themselves and bring them into those paths of life which will be for their own good, the good of others, and the glory of God.
3. Are there not occasional outbursts in children when they will seek to have their own way, in spite of everybody?
Yes; there will be in some children, now and then, a desperate and determined effort to have their own way. We have known cases where children have made a tremendous fight for it. But if the parent is firm, he cannot fail to come off more than conqueror. At such times, we would recommend that the greatest care be taken lest there should be any misunderstanding on the part of the child. Be quite clear that the child really understands the ground of controversy-that he is wilfully rebelling-before recourse is had to severe measures. Sometimes a sort of temporary aberration will take possession of the child. There will be some nervous excitement, which really renders him for a time incapable of knowing what he is doing. When this is suspected, it is wise to give the child time-let him have a night's sleep, and when he is calm bring him face to face with the duty you want him to perform, and compel him to submit.
4. May it not be thought from what we have said, that a strict and firm government of children would be likely to destroy their affection for their parents?
Yes; but we know it is not the case when that government is based upon affection, and accompanied by all that demonstration of love, which is not only allowable but needful, between parents and their children. We shall see before we have done that firmness in the parental rule is perfectly consistent with overflowing tenderness and affection. And when this exists, the parents are loved all the more because of a wise exertion of authority.
The high-spirited horse, we have no doubt, feels all the happier, and we are sure he goes along all the better, when he feels the reins in a strong hand. The highest-spirited and strongest-willed children rejoice in the consciousness that their parents can command, and depend on, their obedience. And even if it were not so, it is far better for the child, better for the home, and safer for the community, that it should be "all law", than it is that it should be "all gospel" and no law, as the word "gospel" is ordinarily understood. It has been said, that "a God all mercy is a God unjust." A home all favour and indulgence, we are quite sure, would be a home of weakness, disgrace, and ruin.
5. But is there not a great difference in children in this respect; that is, are not some children much more difficult to subdue and bring into habits of obedience than others?
Yes, undoubtedly. The dogged obstinacy of some children is something surprising, requiring a corresponding amount of determination and perseverance to conquer and subdue. But whatever it may cost you to do this, it must be done. In this matter everything is in your favour, seeing that you have complete control over the child, either to make it happy or miserable.
6. What can parents do in case of continued rebellion against their authority?
If you exert the power God has placed in your hands, you can deprive the child of all his little enjoyments. You can cut down his supply of food; you can shut him out from your society and from the society of all others with whom he loves to associate; or you can inflict upon him actual pain.
Your possession of this power will soon become known to the child, and if, with this knowledge, he is made to understand that you will exercise it to make him do your good pleasure, how can he do otherwise than submit and give himself up to do your will? (See chapter on Chastisement.")
With all this authority and power, what is more likely than that parents should be able to overcome the greatest resistance, the most stubborn will? But we must again repeat what we have already said over and over again, that the work should be commenced in infancy, before the will of the child has had time to acquire that force which comes from habit. The most powerful beasts that roam the forest can be tamed if captured and trained when young. The most gigantic trees that stand erect before the raging tempests of a thousand winters can be bowed at will if taken in time. So with the strongest will that God ever put into the breast of man, take it in infancy and you can mould it to yours, and all its strength shall be in favour of the course you want it to take and to maintain.
7. But is it not desirable that both parents should be united in training the children in obedience?
Yes, it is of the very first importance that it should be so; and sad is it for the poor children when it is not, which, alas! alas! is no uncommon thing. One parent will often struggle bravely to make the children obedient, while all the time the other will, by foolish indulgence and injudicious remarks, go far to undo all the good that has been done.
8. What course is to be taken under such circumstances?
We can say little more than what is said in the counsels given elsewhere. The Salvationist, whether father or mother, must hold on, doing their very best under the circumstances making it of the first importance to secure the Salvation of the unconverted parent. If this can be accomplished, much will be done in the direction of gaining the whole family. Meanwhile, every effort should be put forth to make the children understand and obey. And even when one parent is directly opposed, so strongly will the instincts of the children be on the side of the one labouring for their highest happiness, that very favourable results may be looked for.
We could illustrate this, had we space, with any number of thrilling facts. We knew, many years ago, a godly mother of seven children, who had a careless husband, foolishly indulgent to the children, allowing them to have their own way, and who, when they were naughty, strongly opposed the mother giving correction or chastisement of any kind. The mother, however, held on to God, praying for them regularly, instructing them in the way of duty; and when they were disobedient she would take them up into the attic to punish them, where the weak and silly father could not hear their cries. That mother was rewarded by the whole family turning out well, and she herself safely reached the goal of rest some time ago.
9. Is not controversy between parents with regard to any command they may give to their children, specially disastrous when carried on in the presence of the children?
Yes, it is unfortunate if any serious difference of opinion exists between parents on any subject, especially if they differ with regard to the management of their children. But it is still more unfortunate that such differences should come to the knowledge, and be discussed in the presence of the children.
We can conceive of few things more destructive of authority and peace in the household than for children to get the notion that one parent is more indulgent or more severe than the other. If there be such differences between parents, we implore them for the happiness of their home and the Salvation of their children to come to an immediate agreement; and if that be impossible, let them argue about them in private.
10. But what are those parents to do who have been converted late in life, and only had their eyes opened to these things after their children have partly grown up, and grown up, so far, in self-will and ignorance of God?
In such circumstances parents must at once assert their claim to uniform obedience, and insist upon it at all costs. With them the fighting may be very severe. Still, though they may not recover all the lost ground and succeed in the same complete fashion which they would have done had they commenced with their children in infancy; yet God will help them and probably save some of their children, if not all, from the terrible consequences of their neglect and example.
11. Can you give any counsel to such persons?
Yes, we would say to such :-
(1.) Gather your children together and make them understand the altered condition of affairs. Candidly confess how wrong you have been from the first in your own soul, in your daily life, and in your indulgent management of them. Acknowledge the wonderful Salvation you have received, and tell them that from this time forward you are going to serve God with all your heart, and make everybody else serve Him, as far as you have the power. Make them understand that in future you intend to govern your family in that way which will most please God and tend most directly to their happiness and Salvation; and that, therefore, you cannot any longer allow them to practise what you believe to be wrong. Tell them plainly that certain rules will have to be kept, and that you intend to use the authority that God has given you, to enforce them.
(2.) Do not attempt too much at first. If you pull up too sharp at the beginning you may break the reins; that is, produce rebellion and opposition, which it will be very difficult to subdue. But as to what you see to be indispensable you must insist upon its fulfilment at once.
(3.) Be careful to say and do all in a spirit of love and tenderness. Let the children see that a new spirit, even the spirit of Jesus Christ, has entered into your heart. Beware of a scolding tone. Don't condemn so much as pity. Then the children will see the reality and greatness of the change that has come over you and feel its power, whatever they may say.
(4.) Rely much upon the Holy Spirit. "Have faith in God." Fully expect to see them all converted. Never give them up. Use every means you can think of, or that others can advise, to bring about their Salvation. Pray over them night and day. Think over the subject. Get to see in every case what the difficulties are which lie in their way. Get them to the meetings. Compel the younger ones to go with you, and kindness, persuasion, love, and holy example will win the affection and confidence of the older ones and induce them to accompany you also. (See chapter on Saving the Children, further on in this book. Read it and carry it out.)
CHAPTER XIV: TRUTHFULNESS.
1. What other habit should be promoted, with all care and at all cost, in children?
The habit of truthfulness; that is to say, children should be so trained that when they speak or act about matters, they shall always do so in accordance with what they really know or sincerely believe to be true.
2. Is it possible to train children so that they shall be always true and real?
We think it is; there may be exceptions, but if right methods are taken, these exceptions will be very few.
3. How is this habit of truthfulness to be created?
(1.) Parents must rely upon the cooperation of the Holy Spirit, who alone can work that Divine change in the hearts of your children, which will make them INWARDLY TRUE, without which all your efforts will be in vain.
A true life can only proceed from a true heart. With this, you may succeed in obtaining from your children words and looks and actions that shall be loyal towards God and straight towards men. In striving to make your children true, imitate the Master, and pay careful attention to their hearts. We read that He "desires truth in the inward parts."
(2.) Parents should strive to get deeply fixed in their own breasts a supreme love for truth and a thorough abomination for the habit of falsehood. They should come to see that to deliberately lie is more disgusting and hateful in the sight of God than are many murders and other crimes that are considered so terrible by society, seeing that these may be done under great excitement, provocation, or sudden temptation. In fact, they should perceive that falsehood and deception more or less enter into the very essence and constitution of almost every other sin or vice, and consequently they should be prepared to labour constantly, not only to root out any tendency to falsehood already existing in their children, but most carefully to prevent the future formation of the habit.
(3.) Explain to the children how important truth is. Show them that it is really the foundation of a good, useful, and holy character, and that without it there can be no happiness or success in any department of life, nor any respect from good and godly men.
(4.) Show the children how hateful falsehood is. Teach them that deliberate lying or deception in any form is one of the most, if not the most, hateful of any of the vices that can take possession of the human breast. Create as early on in life as possible, in their hearts, a strong feeling as to the meanness and cowardliness of this habit; so that they shall prefer to suffer, all the way through life, any loss or trouble, rather than condescend to be false or act untruthfully.
(5) Make the children familiar with the hatred that God bears to falsehood, and the denunciations that are contained in His Book respecting it. Let them see that from the beginning to the end of the Bible His face is everywhere shown to be against falsehood, hypocrisy, and deception-how He declares His hatred of it, and His determination to punish it, both in this world and the world to come. On the other hand, show them the high esteem in which He holds truthfulness and reality.
(6.) Make the children understand that the habit of truthfulness is to extend to all the relations in which they stand to those around them. That is to say, they are to be true, not only in their words but in their conduct, to their parents, teachers, brothers and sisters, servants, playmates, and all other persons with whom they are or shall hereafter become associated.
(7.) Familiarise the minds of the children with the temptations to be untrue that will be presented to them as they grow older. Give them instances which have occurred to others, and imagine circumstances that are likely to come to them, in which earthly gains and honour and pleasures may be presented as inducements to depart from the paths of truth. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Take pains on this subject. In no direction is Satan more likely to seek to draw your children astray; in no direction, perhaps, is he more frequently successful in polluting and destroying the innocency of youth than this. And to rear up children whose word is their bond, who are "the soul of honour, who speak the truth in their hearts, and swear to their own hurt and change not, is a prize and a glory worth any amount of labour on the parents' part.
(8.) Never allow anything that is false to be spoken approvingly before the children. If you carry this out, you will not allow the lying habit to be practised in your house, of saying that a parent is " not at home," when he is; or of seeming to be sick or anything else that is contrary to the facts of the case. We are sure, also, that you will not allow yourselves, or anybody else about you, to practise the common deception of professing to be so much pleased to see visitors, wishing they would stay, and then, when the door is closed and their backs are turned, pronouncing them to be a bore and a nuisance, and wondering what they came to bother you for. Neither will you practise in the presence of your children (or anyone else) the dissimulation, practised by many, of going into raptures on meeting people in the streets or elsewhere, for whom you have no particular regard, or expressing extravagant thanks for every little service of the most trivial value. All such untrue and unreal conduct and conversation should be avoided.
(9.) Never let any achievements in deception, or cheating, or lying be related with approbation in the hearing of your children, because they happen to have been cleverly carried out, or wittily contrived. Always remember that the devil is clever enough in his lying delusions and schemes, but that he is a hateful devil still.
And yet how common it is to hear parents and others at the table describe, in the presence of children, how they have made great bargains, or succeeded in important business negotiations, by a misleading statement about the value of things. If any lying or deceit is to be practised in your business or your home by any persons within your family circle or acquaintance, for God's sake don't let such exploits be dwelt upon in the hearing of your children. If you lie, or seem to lie, or anybody else does the shameful business for you, though you are minting money by the practice, keep the knowledge of it from the ears of your children. Ten thousand thousand times better that they should be true with poverty than that they should grow up to be false, though the falsehood should bring with it all the riches of the Indies.
(10.) As far as in you lies, let nothing that is false be acted in their presence. Always remember that it is just as wicked to act a lie as to speak one, and that children take even more notice of actions than they do of words. Here, at least, ignorance is not only bliss, but security.
In all your domestic affairs, in your business, in all your dealings with your relatives and friends, as well as in all your religious professions and doings, be real, honest, straight-forward, and true; not only speak the truth, but act it.
Let your home be filled from top to bottom, year in and year out, with the spirit of truth and reality. Your children shall then grow up and thrive in it, and become strong for the great battle of life, which has to be fought so largely with unrealities and shams, and with people who try to appear what they are not. They shall be strong enough not only to fight, but to gain the victory, and survive the final overthrow of all that is false and evil when all lies and liars shall be driven to their own natural abode in the bottomless pit.
But if an opposite course is taken, and if parents, or those in authority, are continually acting contrary to what is true in the presence of their children, let such parents not be in the least surprised if their children grow up in the same spirit, to practise with increased skilfulness all manner of deception upon them in turn, improving on their teachers. They say that "all curses come home to roost," and anyhow we know that children cradled in lying often enough pay back their teachers in their own coin. Nor, further, will it be surprising if, after seeing those for whom they have the greatest respect practising so much deceit, they should come to consider that everybody else is tarred with the same brush, and so grow up to doubt, not only the truth of what they hear or read about earthly things, but everything that is told them about heavenly things also.
4. Do not many parents, and others in charge of children, act altogether contrary to the counsel just given, by speaking and acting that which they know to be false in the presence of the children almost as soon as they can understand them?
Yes, they do, and that in many different ways. Before the little ones can well understand the difference between truth and falsehood, they gradually and insidiously, though often quite unintentionally, instil into their minds the principles and practice of deception and untruthfulness. Such incidents as those described in Mrs. Booth's article on the "Training of Children" in "Practical Religion," are quite common.
If a child knocks itself against the table, mother and servants will flog the table, and say, "Naughty table, to knock Johnny! " Very soon Johnny finds out that this is an untruth, and assumes, of course, that if mother lies, there is not much harm in his doing so too.
Or the parents will promise to bring the child presents which they have not the most distant idea of procuring, such as a pony, or some other unlikely thing, which said promises the child goes on believing, until he finds out that they are made without any intention of fulfilment.
Again, parents or servants will threaten children with ghosts, bogies, black dogs, and other ridiculous terrors, threatenings which they know, and the children soon come to know, are based on utter falsehood.
A method better adapted and more likely to succeed in nurturing and training a child in habits of deception and lying could not possibly be conceived; and a more admirable plan for laying the foundation of a life of suspicion and disbelief before God, could not have been more cleverly invented or more thoroughly approved by the devil himself.
In all you say and do before your children, stick to the truth; be as anxious to fulfil all your promises as you would be if you were dealing with the Queen or any other person whose good opinion you highly prize, or with whom you feel your honour' to be at stake.
5. Is it wrong to deceive children when such deceit seems likely to lead to a good result?
You are never to do evil that good may come. No matter how good the end may be that you think is going to be served by making your children believe one thing while you mean another, that end had better be sacrificed. But we do not think there is any great danger in this respect, seeing that by a little thoughtful ingenuity the interests of truth can be maintained without any injury to the children. Nevertheless, whatever might apparently be gained by dissimulation or equivocation, do not destroy the confidence of your children in your word and in your hatred of falsehood. Do not lay the foundation yourself of habits of deception and lying in them.
If, after seeing your children grow up to years of maturity, you should be called upon to bury them, it will be a great consolation, as you stand by their coffin, if you are able to say, " My son, my daughter, never told a lie!" Let your children, and their children also, if it should be their lot to follow you to the grave, have the same inestimable privilege of saying, "My mother, my father, never deceived me; I never knew them tell a lie!"
6. In dealing with children, is it not wise to avoid that sensational way of talking, and that exaggeration of facts which so largely prevails, in order to make what is said appear more interesting?
Yes, this is very important indeed. For instance how often people, in speaking of crowds, will talk of "thousands" when hundreds would have been nearer the truth; when describing distances, they will say "six miles" instead of four. Somebody has been "all over England," when he has only visited three or four counties. Buildings were "crowded to suffocation," when the seats were only well filled. Their "hearts were broken," when they have had only some small anxiety. They "have been awake all night," when they only lost an hour's sleep. This habit is, unfortunately, too common to need further illustration.
Children will see through statements which, although substantially true, are in ordinary conversation stretched and made the most of. And if they hear this frequently done by those who are older than themselves, they will not only feel that it is proper for them to do the same, but in their love for the surprising and sensational, they will naturally go beyond the pattern set them, and you will have, first an extravagant statement, and then an actual falsehood.
7. Is not much injury done to the love and appreciation of truthfulness in the minds of children by the appalling difference they often see between the profession and practice of parents and others with respect to religion?
Certainly there is. It is very much to be deplored that, in many families, there is a most serious contrast between what is professed and what the children see is really practised; and none have quicker eyes to see or sharper instincts to detect unreality than little children. They can see through the whited-sepulchre business sometimes quicker than a doctor of divinity.
So if you don't want them to think it a light matter to lie and deceive, by professing one thing while practising another, mind you do not act anything in their presence that has the slightest resemblance to it.
It is to be feared that the striking contradiction seen by children between the formalities of family and public worship-the songs longing for Heaven, and all that kind of thing-and the actual spirit and practice of the everyday life, often leads to much of the disgust and infidelity felt by multitudes of children belonging to professedly Christian families.
At the table, children will hear their father pray, "For what we are about to receive, the Lord make us truly thankful, and then as he opens his eyes exclaim, "Cold mutton again! " or make some other unreasonable complaint, keeping up the grumbling, more or less, until the meal is finished.
Or at family worship the children hear their father repeat the Lord's prayer, all the time knowing that his life is in direct contradiction to almost every sentence it contains. What must a brewer's or a publican's children feel, for example, who know full well the body and soul destroying character of their father's business, when they hear him pray, Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil"? Again, what must be the feelings of children when they hear a mother, whose heart they know is possessed of a bitter, revengeful spirit continually manifested towards some imagined enemy, pray, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us"? How must the children, who know that their parents are rolling in wealth and that the poor are rotting and starving at their very gates, feel, when they hear them talk about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked, and having the love of God in their hearts, when all the time they will scarcely part with the crumbs from their table for Lazarus to eat?
How often the children of parents who can find any amount of money to spend on their own indulgences, hear them sing-
Were the whole realm of nature mine,That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so Divine,
Demands my life, my soul, my all.
How false such professions must appear in the eyes of the children, who know that these parents, when asked to do or give anything to help that same Saviour, dole out their substance in the most stingy and grudging manner.
Or they hear them sing-
Oh, I long, I long, I long to be there!when the children know perfectly well that their parents would almost die of fear at the very thought of being taken away from the amusements and employments of what they insincerely call "this sinful world," and the Lord Jesus, coming in the clouds of Heaven, would be the last person they would like to see.
If children see their parents living a life of pretence with respect to religion, it will not only make them hate religion, but make them feel that it is perfectly allowable for them to act one part and practise another, not only on the subject of religion, but on every other subject as well.
We need scarcely say to Salvationists, be thorough, be honest, seek Holiness until you find it in all its fulness and beauty, and then walk in the way of righteousness and truth before your children in your everyday life. Confess and profess before them to the uttermost what God has done for you. But at the same time we do Say, DO NOT LET YOUR PROFESSION GO BEYOND YOUR POSSESSION. Be as good as you seem.
Remember always that there is a great difference between Sanctification and sanctimoniousness-the first is excellent, the second is execrable. In all your religious habits be true, and your children will not only respect your religion, but be proud of it; and what is better still, they will never rest until they realise it in their own hearts.
8. Is it not very objectionable to use those exclamations so commonly employed by many in conversation, such as, "Oh, Lord!" "My goodness!" "My gracious!"?
Certainly it is; and the practice often carries those addicted to it into the regions of swearing and the use of profane language. I need not say such a practice should be especially avoided in the presence of children.
Earnest natures, who feel strongly, always want to carry conviction into other minds, and make others around them feel as they do. Such are specially prone to use these forms of speech. But moderation should be practised in the presence of children. Remember that they will ever be in danger not only of imitating, but of going beyond your example. Let your "yea " be "yea," and your "nay," it nay." Cultivate in the children the habit of stating the truth with plainness and simplicity, and then leaving it to make its own impression.
9. Can any other course be taken with children in order to lay the foundations of truth in their minds?
Be severe in punishing any departure from it. Never pass over in a light manner any word or act which you have reason to believe is untrue. (See chapter on "Chastisement.")
CHAPTER XV: SELF-DENIAL.
1. What other habit is it important to establish in the hearts and lives of children?
The habit of self-denial; that is, you are to bring the children to such a state of mind that of their own free will and pleasure they will prefer the comfort and happiness of others to their own.
2. Is this possible?
Yes, children can be so trained by you, and so influenced by the Spirit of God, that they shall not only prefer the comfort and happiness of others to their own, but find their enjoyment in doing so.
3. What training should be given to children to create and cultivate in them this habit of self-denial?
(1.) Keep them in subjection from the very first. Let them eat and drink and wear what you think is best, without consulting them, and they will not only accept your choice, but soon cheerfully prefer it to their own. Give them as little notice as possible in company. Only allow them to speak at table, or when strangers are present, when they are spoken to. In short, treat them as children, and they will accept that position and never think of anything else.
(2.) Teach your children to deny themselves in order to promote the happiness of others. Train them to give the preference to brothers and sisters in things that are most pleasant and desirable. If there is a better seat at the table, or in the railway carriage, or in the Salvation Hall; it there is nicer food, or a more desirable toy-teach them to let their brothers and sisters or comrades have it. In short, make them see and feel and prefer the higher gratification which flows from taking the lowest seat and promoting the happiness of others before their own.
(3.) Teach the children to practise self-denial as an exercise profitable to THEMSELVES, apart from the benefit it is likely to confer on others.
(4.) Train children to deny themselves of their little luxuries and toys so that they may be able themselves to minister to the wants of sick and destitute people, or to help forward the Salvation War. Make them experience the luxury of giving to God and humanity that which costs them something, not only for the sake of others, but for their own. You cannot commence too early the task of suppressing the miserly covetousness and selfish tendency born with, and early developed, in some children, or the lavish spendthrift proclivities inherent in others.
Sit on these tendencies in their infancy-snub them, hold them up to contempt, fight and conquer them by establishing and developing counter habits before the former have the strength and respectability derived from age and practice.
It is an admirable discipline to compel children to keep silence in the presence of grown-up people. Nothing is much more calculated to fill them with conceit and self-importance than to encourage them to give utterance to every passing thought and feeling. Teach them to observe, and let them think, and think quietly. It will be good for them, and help to develope that self-possession which is so admirable and so helpful in the making of a strong character.
Nevertheless, it will be good to give them every opportunity in their own play-time, or somewhere in the absence of strangers, to express their convictions and impressions about what they see and hear and learn. At such times converse with them freely; answer their questions and remove their difficulties as far as you can. (See chapter on "Education," further on.)
4. Is not the course generally taken just the opposite of this?
Yes; many children are so petted and consulted as to what they shall eat, and where they shall go, and what they shall do, that they come to think that they ought to have their own way about everything. They want almost everything they see, and tease for it until they get it, keeping on "give, give, give," like the horse-leech's daughters, whining and puling, and keeping the table and the room in a commotion, and the parent's heart in agitation, not knowing what is going to happen next. What pests such children must be to all about them!
The presence of strangers makes such children ten times worse than usual; they will eagerly seize upon such favourable opportunities to press their claims for sugar, jam, and any other choice things they may see on the table. Mother and father may be quite sure that these delicacies are not good for the little ones, but what does that matter? To prevent a scene they have to give them what they want, and thus the self-importance of these little tyrants is further flattered, and they are strengthened for the infliction of more demands and humiliations in the future.
Whereas, if the children knew that it was against the law for them to ask for anything, or to pick and choose as to what they would take, and that their parents would not give way, no matter who might be present, they would sit quietly and eat what was given to them, and be far happier in doing so than ill-trained children are in the enjoyment of all the luxuries they may succeed in getting by their puling and scrambling.
5. Is not such a course of treatment calculated to cultivate in children a spirit totally opposite to that life of submission and self-denial which is the very essence of godliness?
Yes; it is, indeed. Anyone can see how difficult it is for children who have thus been coddled and caressed and fined with notions of self-consequence and importance, and accustomed to all manner of self-indulgence, to be brought to see and feel their own wickedness and hell-deservingness. Of course it is hard to get such to go down and confess it all at the mercy-seat in order to be forgiven.
If parents actually wanted to make it as difficult as they possibly could for their children to submit to God and to follow the lowly Nazarene in the self-denying life He led, they could not take a more likely course to accomplish such an end.
We have seen many sad illustrations of this mistaken training even in professedly Christian families, in young men and women who have told us of their terrible struggles with their own perverse wills, some of them wringing their hands in anguish and crying, "Oh that my mother had subdued my will when I was a child! But I have always had my own way, and now it is so hard to take God's way. Oh, this self-will, this self-will!" Hard indeed do such foolish parents make it for their children to enter in at the strait gate-"to cut off the right hand" and "pluck out the right eye" of sinful indulgences. If you cannot make Salvation easy to your children, don't, for Christ's sake, make it harder.
You have made up your mind that they shall bear the cross and glory in it, so accustom them to enduring hardness in their early days, and not only will they endure that cross when it comes, but welcome and embrace it and so make good Soldiers of Jesus Christ.
CHAPTER XVI: HUMILITY.
1. In what further habit is it important that children should be established?
In the grace and beauty of humility. By that I mean they should be humble, not thinking "more highly of themselves than they ought to think."
2. Why is this important?
Because pride, which is the opposite to humility, is the greatest hindrance to the earthly happiness of the children, both when they are young and when they are grown, and the greatest obstacle to their Salvation, also.
3. Then it follows that nothing should be practised in your dealings with children calculated to engender or foster pride?
Most certainly. Unless parents want to lay the foundation of future misery in their little ones, they must beware of every word, look, and act likely to increase the spirit of pride.
4. Is it possible for parents to deal with their children so as to encourage this injurious spirit?
Alas! the great majority of parents, from the earliest years, do this. Very much of their intercourse with their children is calculated to create within them the ridiculous and ruinous conceit that they are better than others. While God has said, "Blessed are the meek," they teach their children, by their words and acts, to feel and think that only those are happy who are of a proud and haughty spirit, and whose chief glory is the ability to maintain their own-dignity-in short, that "Blessed are the proud."
5. Is not this course most irrational?
Yes. Such parents profess to believe that their children are born into the world with this smouldering hellish fire in their hearts, which, unless extinguished, will blaze up and destroy their earthly and everlasting happiness. And yet, instead of doing all they can to extinguish it, they just supply the fuel necessary to feed it.
6. Will you explain by what conduct parents create and foster the spirit of pride in their children?
They flatter and praise them because of certain gifts which they suppose them to possess, and so make them think they are superior to other children, and therefore ought to be more noticed, and to receive more kindness, and have more liberty given them. Thus their conceit is fed and their self-consequence increased, until they look down upon other children, and feel altogether above the humble reverent service they owe to God, and the generous benevolent sympathy and service they owe to those around them.
7. What kind of training is calculated to destroy this spirit?
(1.) Always remember that the seeds of pride are in the hearts of the children. Your work is to repress and destroy them.
(2.) Never flatter your children on account of any gifts they may be thought to possess. The less notice you take of children the safer it is for them
I remember being at the table once with a gentleman-a prominent official in a Christian church, and a great friend of Sunday schools. Presently a young girl of some fourteen summers entered the room. it Here, said the father, introducing her to me, "is my eldest daughter, the fairest of the fair." Yes, there she was, dressed up in worldly vanity by the mother to match the injudicious praise of the father, each having about an equal share in feeding the passions of vanity, pride, and self-conceit in the breast of the poor child. Doubtless there was no harm meant; it was only thoughtlessness. But it was thoughtlessness wonderfully adapted to strengthen that which was most obnoxious to God and the greatest barrier in the way of her Salvation. This sort of thing is of everyday occurrence. Parents begin to praise their children's faces and little abilities as soon as ever they can understand anything at all, verily worshipping before them, and offering through their eyes and ears the incense of unceasing flattery.
(3.) Pour contempt on any manifestation of pride and conceit in your children themselves. When you find them showing off in their new clothes, or their books, while very young; or, when grown older, you find them swelling and boasting of their ability, or their station in society, or anything else, immediately suppress the weak, foolish, vain spirit, and make them understand how hateful it is to you; how foreign to the proper spirit of a Salvationist, and how hateful to their Father in Heaven.
(4.) As you never praise your children in their presence, never allow anyone else to do so. If any foolish people attempt this with your children in your presence, and you cannot silence them in any other way, openly rebuke them. Make them understand that your children cannot bear it, and that it is not good for them. You may by so doing, not only benefit your children, but teach your visitor a valuable and instructive lesson.
(5.) Never exhibit the attainments of your children public. Do not let them perform their wonderful tasks, or show off their dress or abilities in any way before strangers.
What a common usage it is for little children to be taught to go about exhibiting for admiration any new garment they may be wearing! And what an equally common thing it is for visitors to seek favour, or open the conversation, with little ones, by praising their frocks or their faces.
(6). Never talk about young children in their presence. They understand much more than you imagine of what you say, and if they cannot understand your words they can read your faces.
(7.) Never foster the spirit of pride and haughtiness by allowing children to treat servants as though they were persons of an inferior grade of being. In many families where servants are kept, this spirit is not only tolerated, but cherished. The children look down upon them, and treat them as though they were beings with neither rights nor feelings, whom it is their privilege to domineer over and order about at their lordly pleasure. Make the young people treat the servants with that respect which their superior age, knowledge, and the responsible position they occupy, entitle them to receive.
Indeed, the servants' position in some houses cannot be much better, whether for man or woman, than that of slavery, such little petulant, selfish, proud tyrants are the children allowed to be. What training can be imagined better qualified to engender that spirit of haughtiness and pride so incompatible with the spirit of Him who "took upon Himself the form of a servant, and made Himself of no reputation.
We say again to parents, and all whom it may concern, if you don't want the accursed fire of pride to burn, starve it out by keeping away as far as possible that fuel which is calculated to feed the flame.
(8.) Make your children understand that the only kind of superiority that is worthy of them, the only kind that you esteem, or that will be esteemed by God, the only kind that will ENDURE, is that which consists in love, and truth, and humility, and self-sacrifice, and every good and perfect work.
And be sure you make them see also that for these and every other good thing they possess, and every other good work they can perform, all the credit and glory belong to God.
CHAPTER XVII: CHASTISEMENT.
1. Is it not necessary on some occasions for parents or those in charge of children to chastise them?
Yes there are few, if any, families in which it is not necessary at times to resort to some kind of punishment. Severe punishment, however, is not necessary with all children-very far from it-seeing that a firm and decided training from the birth, will, as a rule, secure uniform obedience. When children know that you are determined to be obeyed, and that nothing will move you, they will usually yield such obedience, and that with pleasure.
Nevertheless, there are exceptions. Some children are so naturally obstinate and wilful that they must be dealt most firmly with, and more frequently chastised than others, else their wills will remain unsubdued, and they will neither obey God nor man. It is safe, perhaps, to say that there will be times in the history of all children when at least some mild form of chastisement will be necessary.
2. But ought not parents to seek to make their children obey them and be good from motives of love rather than fear?
Of course they ought. We have already shown this, and shall do so again. When the prevailing spirit in the home is that of fear, that home is radically wrong. Nevertheless, fear has its place in the government of children as in the government of men. Noah was moved by fear to build the ark, and so saved himself and his family. Just so, children will not only be moved by love to keep your rules, and so be good children, but they will often be sensibly assisted in doing so by a seasonable fear of your anger and the punishment which they know you will inflict upon them if they disobey.
3. What are the principal motives that are likely to influence children to obedience?
There are five distinct feelings natural, that is to say common, in the breasts of children to which it is perfectly right for the parent to appeal.
The first and highest motive of obedience is that of AFFECTION. That is, children should obey their parents and those in authority over them because they love them, and they will do so when real affection exists.
The second is that of RIGHTNESS. The child should be taught to obey because he ought to do so; and he should have no choice or feeling in the matter, but simply to find out whether he ought to, and then he should do it because it is right.
The third is that of GAIN. We suppose it is allowable, especially in the case of very young children, for you to help them to do their duty by rewards. We have seldom found any very great advantage ourselves from this (indeed not having practised it very often with our children), but no doubt the promise of books or little treasures of various kinds is helpful in some cases. Sundry lawful and agreeable indulgences, such as holidays, and the like, are quite a legitimate, and even healthy, inducement to children to obey-not as bribes for which they are to do their duty, but as rewards when they have done it.
The fourth is HAPPINESS. It is quite allowable to show the children that to be good is the only way in which they can be happy.
The fifth is FEAR. It is, as we have seen, perfectly permissible for you to appeal to this instinct, and to show the child that if he will not be good he must suffer. Sin and suffering are as closely united as righteousness and happiness, and if he will not obey you it is your duty to make him suffer.
4. But is there not a danger of parents using too much severity in the management of their children?
Yes, there is. Some parents get a notion that if they are to make their children obey, nothing will do but a stern, inflexible, and severe course of treatment, and therefore they are constantly appealing to the principle of fear, and working on it as the means to this end. "Mind you do this!" is the constant cry of one parent or the other, " and if you do not, you shall be whipped, you shall be sent to bed, you shall have some dreaded infliction of some kind," until the poor children's lives are a burden! As we have already seen, fear is a useful and necessary principle in all government. God uses it in appealing to men. But it should not be made the prevailing motive. For the whole house to be constantly filled with an atmosphere of dread, and to be always ringing with threats and mutterings, for faces to be ever covered with gloom, and for punishment in some shape or other to be always hanging over the heads of the little ones, is most injurious to the dispositions of the children. It is also utterly destructive of the happiness of the home. Threaten seldom, and when you have threatened, and the penalty is deserved, inflict it, unless you can find out some way to forgiveness which will make the child equally fear doing wrong in the future.
Chastisement should be the last resort-every other method should be acted upon, and if punishments be regarded as solemn matters, to be seriously inflicted when they are necessary, there will be little necessity for them.
5. Is it a mistake to threaten children with chastisement without any serious intention of inflicting it?
Yes, a most serious one. Parents should make it an unalterable rule never to threaten that which they do not intend to carry out. There are parents who are always saying what punishments they will inflict upon children if they neglect their duty, but who seldom or never carry out their threats. Children soon find this out, and the little punishment, if any, that is inflicted upon them is of no avail, because of the uncertainty they feel regarding it. If father and mother are always threatening to punish, and seldom, if ever, doing it, the children will come to think it does not matter what they say, they will not keep their word.
6. Ought not parents to be fully satisfied in their own minds that the child is really guilty before the infliction of any punishment?
Yes, most certainly they ought. And if there be any room for doubt, the child must have the benefit of it. We have known most serious consequences follow from parents allowing themselves blindly to be possessed with the notion that the children have been guilty of some wrong-doing of which they were innocent, and punishing them because they would not confess to it. Such mistakes are most serious, and calculated to leave marks not only in the memory, but on the nervous system, enduring for a lifetime.
7. Will you name some of the most important considerations that should be borne in mind by parents in inflicting punishment?
(1.) In chastising a child the parents should mind that they are not influenced by selfish anger. No parents are capable of rightly training children who have not the ability to govern their own tempers when their children grieve and offend them.
It is to be feared that with many, not only is the character of the punishment inflicted made to depend upon the humour of the parent at the moment, but the question whether there shall be any punishment at all.
If mother or father happen to be "put out," and be, consequently, in an "irritable " condition when a child commits itself, then the punishment will be prompt, and often far greater than deserved. But if, on the other hand,. the parent is in a good humour, the same offence will as likely as not be passed over altogether.
All this the children soon come to understand, and they soon come also to associate with such punishment the idea of injustice. We need not say that with children, as with older persons, it is utterly in vain to expect any benefit to arise from the infliction of punishment if they are smarting under the feeling that the penalty is out of proportion to the offence committed, or not deserved at all.
Parents should never punish their children while in a state of irritation. If they do, the children will be likely to conclude that they are being chastised, not because they have done wrong, but because father or mother is "in a bad temper."
Better far pass by offence-for a time at least-and wait until you are in a mood sufficiently calm, not only to deal justly with your child, but to make him understand that it is painful to you to inflict punishment, and that in doing so you are actuated solely by desire for his highest good.
(2) Punishment, when deserved, should always be certain. That is, it should never be possible for children to calculate that they will be able to do wrong without being punished. If they can reckon on the chance of escaping the just consequences of naughty conduct because of any peculiar circumstances, such as the presence of company, the extra good humour of parents, the being from home, the being out of health, or any other reason whatever, the effects will be most disastrous.
A child who can reckon upon being able to "can't" his mother into overlooking sins, or wheedle his father round by caresses and excuses, will not be likely to regard with salutary fear any threatened punishment. The child should be made always to associate suffering, or what is equivalent to it, with the idea of wrong-doing.
It should be made impossible for a child to presume on being able to do wrong without suffering, by the quick and uniform infliction of chastisement, unless there shall be such a repentance as shall render it right and just for the offence to be forgiven. But even then, no such exemption should be made if there is any likelihood of a repetition of the offence.
(3.) Parents should watch against allowing any affection for their children to hinder them from inflicting such chastisement as the real interests of the child require.
How common it is with parents, when a child does wrong and they feel that all the interests of the child require that he shall be punished, for their feelings to rise up and protest against the infliction of this pain! If they could benefit the child by suffering themselves, they would gladly do it. But they cannot bear to make the little darlings weep, whom they so idolise. How can they endure their screams, and see them broken-hearted! No! It is more than they can stand, and so they let them off.
If there were anybody else who could punish them, without their seeing the effect of the pain, or hearing their cries, they would perhaps allow it to be done, as the interests of the children require it; but they cannot do it themselves. So the little ones are allowed to go on hardening in their disobedience and naughty ways in order that the parents' feelings may be spared.
All this will be seen, on a little consideration, to be the sheerest selfishness. It is really not to spare the feelings of as child, but their own, that they neglect this duty. To rightly train children there must be deep in the soul of the parent the conviction that the child must be made good; and if this cannot be done without inflicting pain, that pain must be inflicted, however harrowing it may be to those who have to administer it.
(4.) Parents must always aim to make punishment deterrent, or reformatory. Your aim in punishing the child must not be to be revenged on him, by making him suffer, as it were, for having disobeyed you or done something wrong, but to create in his heart a feeling that he has done wrong. He must feel that to do wrong is a very serious thing, and means suffering; and, more than this, you must seek to make him resolve, if possible, not to offend after the same fashion any more.
8. Do not children sometimes, under such circumstances, refuse to confess that they are wrong and to promise amendment?
Yes, and it is very mournful when they do, because for you to give in without securing a real repentance would do the child incalculable harm. You must win, however painful the controversy, or however long the struggle.
In such a case, if your victory be complete, the child's will may be so subdued that in all probability it will never be set up again in opposition to yours. Whereas, if, through any tender feeling on your part, you give in or make a compromise, the same battle will have to be fought over again, and perhaps on far more disadvantageous terms so far as you are concerned.
Mind, the child must be conquered, and made to feel that he is conquered; and woe to you, and woe to the child, if you accept any other than a whole-hearted confession and submission!
This is most important, both to you and your children, and therefore we again say, that the end of all punishment is that the child shall be brought to see the evil of his doings, confess it, and resolve never to offend again in a like manner.
The following incident of such a contest, given by a modern writer, will illustrate our meaning:-
A gentleman, sitting by his fireside one evening, with his family around him, took the spelling-book, and called upon one of his little boys to come and read. John was about four years old. He knew all the letters of the alphabet perfectly, but happened at that moment to be in rather a sullen humour, and was not at all disposed to gratify his father. Very reluctantly he came as he was bid; but when his father pointed to the first letter of the alphabet, and said, "What letter is that?" he could get no answer. John looked upon the book, sulky and silent.
"My son," said the father pleasantly, "you know the letter A."
"I cannot say A," said John.
"You must," said the father, in a serious and decided tone, "What letter is that?"
John refused to answer. The contest was now fairly commenced. John was wilful, and determined that he would not read. His father knew that it would be ruinous to allow him to conquer. He felt that he must, at all hazards, subdue him. He took him into another room, and punished him. He then returned, and again showed John the letter. But John still refused to name it. The father again retired with his son, and punished him more severely. But it was unavailing. The stubborn child still refused to name the letter, and when told that it was A, declared that he could not say A. Again the father inflicted punishment as severely as he dared to do it, and still the child, with his whole frame in agitation, refused to yield. The father was suffering from the most intense solicitude. He regretted exceedingly that he had been drawn into the contest. He had already punished his child with a severity which he feared to exceed. And yet the wilful sufferer stood before him, sobbing and trembling, but apparently as unyielding as a rock. I have often heard that parent mention the acuteness of his feelings at that moment. His heart was bleeding at the pain which he had been compelled to inflict upon his son. He knew that the question was now to be settled who should be the master. And, after his son had withstood so long and so much, he greatly feared the result. The mother sat by, suffering of course, most acutely, but perfectly satisfied that it was their duty to subdue the child, and that in such a trying hour a mother's feelings must not interfere. With a heavy heart, the father again took the hand of his son to lead him out of the room for further punishment. But to his inconceivable joy the child shrunk from enduring any more suffering, and cried, "Father, I'll tell the letter." The father, with feelings not easily conceived, took the book and pointed to the letter. "A," said John, distinctly and fully.
"And what is that?" said the father, pointing to the next letter. "B," said John.
"And what is that?"
"C," he continued.
"And what is that?" pointing again to the first letter.
"A," said the now humbled child.
"Now carry the book to your mother, and tell her what the letter is."
"What letter is that, my boy? "said the mother.
"A," said John. He was evidently perfectly subdued. The rest of the children were sitting by, and they saw the contest, and they saw where the victory was. And John learned a lesson which he never forgot. He learned never again to wage such an unequal warfare. He learned that it was the safest and happiest course for him to obey.
But perhaps some one says, it was cruel to punish the child so severely. Cruel! It was mercy and love. It would have been cruel had the father, in that hour, been unfaithful, and shrunk from his painful duty. The passions he was then, with so much self-sacrifice, striving to subdue, if left unchecked, would in all probability have been a curse to their possessor, and have made him a curse to his friends. It is by no means improbable that, upon the decisions of that hour, awaited much of the destinies of that child's future happiness. It is far from improbable that, had he then conquered, all subsequent efforts to subdue him would have been in vain, and that he would have broken away from all restraint. Cruelty! The Lord preserve children from the tender mercies of those who so regard such self-denying kindness. - Abbott.
9. Ought parents, at such times of conflict with their children, or in the administration of punishment, to read the Bible and pray with them?
Yes. Parents ought to pray with their children from their earliest infancy, in all their little griefs and trials; but in a conflict so important as that of which we are speaking, if ever it should come, it is of the utmost importance that parents should pray for and with their children, and if they are old enough to understand the Bible, they should read a portion of it adapted to the circumstances, and explain it to them.
In any such conflicts, it is of the utmost importance that you should be fully satisfied that the course you insist upon is a right one, and, as has been noticed before, that the child is not, from ignorance or nervousness, mistaking your wishes or blinded as to his duty.
10. In administering chastisement, ought not parents carefully to distinguish between the faults and the misfortunes of their children?
Yes, most certainly. Children should never be punished for things they cannot help. Misfortunes deserve pity rather than penalty. Parents often apply this rule to themselves, while they neglect to act upon it with respect to their children.
For instance, a father will make a false step, or a miscalculation of distance, and consequently have an accident and break something valuable. He will be very sorry for himself, and go about asking for pity. Whereas, the child of the same man may have a fall and break some treasure, and the father will rave about it in the most angry fashion, and punish the child with the most cruel severity. All this is most unjust, and the children will feel it so, and any such punishment will do them more harm than good.
11. Then children should not be punished for misfortunes or accidents?
Certainly not. Never, under any circumstances, should they be punished for what they cannot help. We are too much in danger of measuring wrong-doing by the evil consequences which flow from it, rather than by the motive and aim which inspire it.
For instance, here is a child who has been permitted to climb on the chairs and take things from the table. While nothing serious follows, the habit is unnoticed and unreproved, but when, unwittingly, the child pushes some valuable article off the table, which breaks in falling, he is condemned to suffer punishment.
But wherein did the child do wrong? Never having been forbidden to climb on the chairs, there was no disobedience in his act. He was not aware that he was doing wrong. If only a knife had fallen instead of a fancy dish, not a word would have been said, and consequently it is sheer cruelty to punish him on account of it.
But supposing the accident to be the result of carelessness or forgetfulness, what then? Well, even then, great forbearance should be exercised. Too much ought not to be expected from children in either of these respects. We all know how easily their attention is taken off from their duty, and how readily they forget the instructions given them. Thoughtlessness and forgetfulness are the causes of most of their little troubles.
12. What occasions, then, do you think are sufficiently serious to call for punishment?
I should say:
1. Repeated acts in carelessness.
2. Wilful mischief.
3. Neglect of duty.
4. Untruthfulness.
5. Wilful disobedience.
The two last ought never to be passed lightly over. But in these, as in all other instances, in administering chastisement every effort should be made to bring the transgressor to think of the great evil of his conduct.
13. You think it necessary, then, that punishment should be inflicted in such a manner as to carry with it, to the mind of the child, the idea that it is necessary for you to administer it?
Yes; a child should not only be made to see that it is right for you to chastise it for having done wrong, but it should, if possible, be brought into that state of mind in which it will be grateful to you for doing so. Further, if the counsels we have so far given be acted upon, we think that all sincere children will be thankful that they have parents who love them sufficiently to take such pains to make them happy and good.
14. Will you name some forms of punishment that are objectionable because likely to be injurious?
(1.) Never punish your children by exciting unnatural fears.
Never do anything which is likely to unduly shock the nervous system. Many poor little things have been made cowards for life by this course of treatment. Do not allow anything of such a kind with your children as threatening them with ghosts, putting them into a dark room, telling them that some evil spirit is coming to fetch them away, or any other ridiculous and lying stories. Such treatment is calculated to arouse fears and create apprehensions that will never be destroyed, making them afraid of going into the darkness, or of sleeping alone, or going along lonely roads at night, and the like, all the rest of their days. In short, you may in this way easily create for them all manner of mental tortures, not only for the moment, but for the future, and endanger their reason as well.
The following incident is given by a writer on this subject. He says, "I knew as fine, as sprightly, and as intelligent a child as ever was born, who was made an idiot for life by being, when about three years old, shut in a dark closet by a maid-servant in order to terrify him into silence. The thoughtless creature first threatened to send him to the bad place, and at last, to reduce him to silence, put him in a dark closet, shut the door and went out of the room. She went back in a few minutes, and found the child in a fit. He recovered from that, but was an idiot for life. When the parents, who had been on a visit for two days and nights, came home, they were told that the child had had a fit, but were not informed of the cause. The girl, however, who was a neighbour's daughter, being on her death-bed a few years after, could not die in peace without sending for the mother of the child and asking forgiveness." There is little doubt that numbers of children have suffered similar evil effects from similar causes. Parents, beware.
(2.) Never punish your children in such a way as will make them appear silly in the estimation of other children.
They should be very extreme cases in which anything is done to destroy the child's self-respect, or to make him ridiculous in the eyes of his companions. This applies to some of the systems of punishment at schools and elsewhere, which, we are very glad to say, are getting out of fashion, such as "the dunce's cap," setting children on a form to be gazed at by others, making them wear some mark to signify that they are blockheads, or truants, or otherwise rendering them the laughing-stock of all who are about them. Avoid all such nonsense.
At the same time you will, of course, see that no child can be punished without it being known to the whole household, and the dread of this amount of shame and exposure will become a very valuable part of the child's training to avoid evil.
15. What modes of punishment do you recommend?
With young children we should be inclined to the old-fashioned method of "a little whipping," which may be made very terrible to the youngsters, and it will always add materially to the effect of it if it follows quickly after the offence. With older children the consideration of their age and circumstances must help to determine what is likely to be most effective
If the children see that it is a great grief to you to give them pain, that, more than anything else, will distress them, and they will not very often give you reason to resort to this part of your duty. Nevertheless, you must do so if necessary, and you must be faithful and prompt in discharging it, and the more prompt and faithful you are, the less call will there be for it in the future.
There are plenty of ways of inflicting chastisement without having recourse to any of the objectionable methods already named; for instance,--
(1.) Children can be deprived of their ordinary privileges -such as holidays-or their little luxuries, or the enjoyment of your own company, or they can be prevented from coming to table for meals, which, as a rule, is felt to be a great hardship. They can be fined, if they have any money, or their pocket-money can be confiscated.
(2.) You can impose solitary confinement. Only care must be taken not to fall into the error we have just mentioned. When children are sent by themselves, care should be taken that they have something to employ their time; something less agreeable than that in which they would have been employed but for their offence, and at the same time something likely to be useful, if that be possible. We have found it a good plan to require children to write a letter expressing their sorrow and repentance for their offence, if they feel any.
(3.) Tasks can be set children, if they are old enough to learn them.
We do not think it wise to follow a very common custom of making children learn or write out portions of the Bible as punishment, such a course being calculated to create a distaste, if not a positive hatred, for the Book. We know it has been so in many instances. Rather let them learn something in the ordinary course of their education.
(4.) Extra work can be insisted upon.
16. Is it not important that the quarrels and disagreements which unavoidably arise among children should be dealt with according to the strict principles of truth and justice?
Certainly. It is most important that at such times there should be a careful investigation, and every effort should be made to decide who is in the right and who in the wrong, in order that praise or blame be administered accordingly.
The course very often taken on such occasions is simply to condemn all present and to give a little lecture on the folly of quarrelling, winding up with a general order to "kiss and be friends again."
In small and trifling matters this may be the best plan, but even then we question it. But in matters of any serious moment, the wrongdoing should be carefully uncovered, and the wrongdoer impartially condemned.
A favourite, foolish, and most unjust mode of dealing in such cases is very common both with respect to children and adults, namely, that of saying, "Oh, there are faults on both sides," or, "There's six of one and half a dozen of the other," whereas it frequently happens that the weakest and most conscientious are overborne and misrepresented by the cleverer and less scrupulous. When thus summarily dealt with, of course a double injury is inflicted, and the innocent made to suffer for the guilty. The only way for real reconciliation between any offending and offended parties is, that the one who has done the wrong shall fully confess and repent of it, and then a reconciliation can be effected. It is with children as it is with adults; while the sufferer is smarting under a sense of wrong, his soul cries out naturally for justice. Let that be done, and then comes the time to willingly and cheerfully make the quarrel up and be friends again. And that is the friendship likely to be lasting; indeed, there is no other.
CHAPTER XVIII: COMPANIONSHIPS.
1. Have not companions and other people who are round about children, a vast influence upon them for good or for evil?
Yes; we have already seen that children are so imitative and impressionable, that, without any thought or intention on their part, they copy the sayings and doings, acquire the character, and imbibe the spirit, of those persons with whom they associate. We all know how easily men and women are influenced by their companionships, and this is far more likely to be the case with regard to children. Intercourse with a stranger, sometimes for only a single day, will make a mark upon the character of a child which will endure for years to come, while anyone whom the children very much admire, if brought into close communion with them, will be imitated right off. Therefore you can always calculate with certainty that the people, whether young or old, whom you allow to be round about your children, will have an immense influence in moulding and fashioning their character.
It should also be borne in mind, in considering the influence of one child upon another, or of one man upon another, that there is in all character, whether good or bad, a kind of instinct which, so to speak, makes its possessor take pleasure in propagating it in others. A good man has a delight in making others good-a bad man not only instinctively hates goodness and loves badness, and finds pleasure in the company of those who do the same, but seizes every opportunity of making others like himself.
2. To what class of the associations of children do these remarks specially apply?
(1.) Of almost first importance, they apply to servants. The influence of servants over the minds of children, for good or evil, is almost boundless. Servants have often a far greater power to form the characters of the children than have the parents themselves. This will be seen by considering that children are necessarily thrown so much into the company of servants and friends in their walks out of doors, in the kitchen, and elsewhere. If children are imitative and do copy the example of those with whom they are most thrown, as we have already seen, then it follows as a matter of course, that what the servants are, the children are very likely to be also.
(2.) The position of authority in which servants are placed inevitably leads the children to look up to them, and think they must be right in all they do and teach. What more natural to the little child, who knows next to nothing of the world outside, than for him to imitate the sayings and doings of the servants?
(3.) The greater age of servants, and the power they possess to make children happy or miserable, give them a great influence over their minds and lives.
A child will be very likely to suppose that age and experience mean wisdom, and therefore take as pure gospel everything a servant tells him.
3. From what has been said, I can easily see that the influence of servants upon children must be very great. Can you state any particulars in which such influence is likely to be exerted in a wrong direction?
Yes. The following are only some of the varied ways in which the influence of bad servants is often directly against such a godly training as I wish you to give your children.
(1.) Servants will wrongly influence children by foolish indulgences, which will often go far to counteract the labour of those parents who are striving to make their children obedient and humble.
(2.) Servants with impure minds will, and do, often inform children of uncleanness and also of matters far beyond their years, which they ought never, as children, to hear about.
(3.) Ungodly servants will frequently inculcate deception and falsehood, teaching and encouraging children to practise the same. Some will sneer at religion behind the backs of the parents, while they will be sleek and apparently very pious to their faces, thus not only teaching deception, but illustrating it by their own conduct.
(4.) Ungodly servants will often make children object to anything like strict parental control. They will make them think that they are more hardly done by than other children, leading them to kick against correction or chastisement, and thus sowing in their minds the seeds of future rebellion and misery.
(5.) They will often lead the children into bad company or places.
How common it is for servants to take children, as a special favour, where their parents would not wish them to go, after getting a promise not to tell!
4. Seeing that servants have so powerful an influence in moulding the character of children, ought not parents to exercise great care in their selection?
Undoubtedly they ought. Nevertheless, we fear that very little anxiety is felt on this subject. A mother will make the most exact enquiries as to the capacity of a servant for doing her work; as to her honesty in dealing with her money; her truthfulness, sobriety, civility, and personal appearance-in order that she may attend to the business of the family and cut a good figure at the table-but, alas! often she will scarcely make any enquiry at all as to those qualities which have to do with the formation of the character of her children, with whose daily lives that maid will be as much mixed up as herself, and on whose influence their happiness, both for time and eternity, will so much depend. Thus she will place her children under the care and control of perfect strangers without concern, and with very little supervision or investigation afterwards.
5. Ought parents, when they act thus, to be surprised to find all manner of false, mean, and unclean habits generated and practised amongst their children?
Not in the least. Would it not indeed be a miracle if it were otherwise? I have no doubt that multitudes of children are inoculated with all manner of moral diseases by servants-diseases of mind and soul, far more to be deplored than any bodily diseases could possibly be. If parents do not want such a result-if they wish their children to be good and godly, they must seek godly servants; and if they will not be at the trouble to do this, they must suffer the consequences-at least, their poor children must.
6. Then do you recommend the employment of godly servants only?
Most emphatically we do. That is, we think parents should use every possible means to obtain such, and should be very careful that they are not deceived by mere profession. But failing this, if those engaged are not converted, the first serious business, with regard to the master and mistress, is to get them saved; and if, after trying every reasonable method they do not succeed, we think the domestics should be discharged and others tried.
But we are quite sure that in a family where God is served with wholehearted faithfulness, little difficulty will be experienced in this direction. We have seldom found much in such cases. Where master, mistress, and children, and everybody are "down " on their "help," whether man or woman, to give up sin and turn to God, there are only two alternatives for the servant-to yield or run. They usually for their own comfort's sake give up, and become members of the heavenly household. Any way, there cannot well be greater madness than willingly to keep in close association with children, servants under the power of the devil, whose conversation and example are directly in favour of wickedness, and consequently opposed to the Holiness and happiness of the family.
7. Ought parents, in seeking servants, to be satisfied with the bare assertion that the parties seeking the situation are "religious"?
Parents must be on their guard against hypocrites and shams here, as they are elsewhere. We don't suppose there are any more counterfeits among the much-abused servant class than there are in other classes of society. We have no doubt that if the family is associated with really godly people, and ordinary care is exercised, they will not very frequently be seriously imposed upon. Truly religious servants will be really glad to live in truly religious families.
8. What other companionships have intimately to do with the formation of character in children?
Their PLAYMATES and SCHOOLFELLOWS.
All that has been said of the influence of servants applies with equal, if not increased, force to their companions in the schoolroom, or their mates in the playground. Children exercise a peculiarly powerful and fascinating influence over each other. When an intimacy has been formed, they will unbosom themselves to children of their own age with greater freedom than they will to their own parents or guardians, and they will impress their own character, whatever that character may be, on each other with the greatest facility, and the most lasting endurance. How important, then, that the companions of your children should be good!
"Can any man put fire in his bosom and not be burned?" Do not evil communications corrupt the good manners of men and women, who have had the opportunity of profiting by years of teaching, experience, failure, and suffering? How much more then will your children, simple, untaught, and inexperienced as they are in wrongdoing and its consequences, inevitably be corrupted if you foolishly permit them to associate with children who are evil and corrupt? Do not allow the devil, or anyone else, to deceive you on this head. If you permit the means of corruption to be employed, nothing can prevent the natural result. It is as certain as anything very well can be.
9. But do not parents see this, and exercise every possible care in the selection of companions for their children?
Alas! no. The majority of persons are positively blind-we were going to say positively insane-on this subject. They take very little note of the moral and spiritual character of the companions and playmates of their children. Many fathers and mothers who will read this book are very particular as to the character of the people with whom they associate themselves. They would be shocked at the bare idea of visiting, and being visited by, gamblers, liars, thieves, swearers, cheats, tyrants, or people who are filthy in life and conduct; on the contrary, quite a number of them would not be content with morality only, but draw the line somewhere about church membership-yet those same parents allow their children to herd with companions who, they know, or might know if they would take the trouble to enquire, are in their hearts and lives just such characters as we have enumerated; and even worse, if that is possible. That much of this is hidden away from masters and parents is largely, if not solely, owing to the added sins of hypocrisy and cunning on the part of the children, by which they are enabled to conceal the real state of things and want of industry and sense on the part of those in authority to find it out.
10. What course do parents ordinarily take to discover the moral character of the companions of their children?
I am afraid they have little concern, if any at all, about the moral and spiritual character of their children's companions. In many instances they are quite satisfied if these belong to families of their own standing, and if there is no particular stain upon their character-and even concerning this, they will not put themselves out of the way to enquire. Other parents will allow their children to pick out their companions themselves, or at most get up an acquaintance with the children of neighbours. In view of this, and what we have said in answer to the last question, is it not strange that anyone should wonder where the bad qualities come from, which are unexpectedly developed in their children?
If those parents knew that their children had been associating with some of their schoolfellows who had just recovered from small-pox or some contagious malady, they would not be in the least surprised to see symptoms of the same disease show themselves. Indeed, they would be much astonished if such manifestations did not appear. Why then should parents be amazed when their children grow up to lie, deceive, teach, and practise all manner of uncleanness, when they, the parents, have allowed them to associate with others who regularly do these things?
11. But how are parents to know the real character of those whom they allow to be companions with their children?
They must be at THE TROUBLE to ascertain it. As we have already recommended with regard to servants, enquire for yourselves. Watch them with your own eyes and ears - examine your children about any new playmates and comrades that may have turned up, before there has been time for any harm to be done by their influence or example. Do not be taken off your guard by being informed that the new-comers are religious, or that they "love Jesus." That you want to know is whether they are PURE, TRUE, AND OBEDIENT.
Some children, as well as grown-up people, are possessed now-a-days with the false and dangerous notion that if they hold certain opinions and believe certain statements in the Bible, moral character-that is, truth and goodness-are not of too much importance. But this must not satisfy you. You want faith and works. Faith without works, whether in children or grown-up people, will be held by you, we suppose, in about the same estimation as it was by the Apostle James, who pronounced it "dead." We all know something of the uselessness and corruption of death.
12. What then is to be done to find companions for the children?
If you cannot find Salvationists, or those who are Salvationists in spirit, if not in name, and who, you have reason to believe, are really and truly good, let your children do without companions until God shall bring them across the track of some who are; or until they themselves shall be the means of converting some of their relatives or friends. It is of a great deal more importance that your children should be good than that they should be amused.
13. But what about sending children to schools?
If you cannot manage to get an education for your children otherwise, then you must, I suppose, send them to school, in which case let it be a day school if possible; but as you love the souls of your children, and honestly wish them to be made and kept real children of the Living God, prevent them having more association with their schoolmates than is absolutely unavoidable. Let them mix as little as possible with them after school hours, going to and coming from the school alone, and keeping as much as possible by themselves in the playground.
That is, unless they find some of the children to be real saints; and we trust the time is not far distant when a little squad of Salvation Soldiers will be found in every school in the land.
Make your children understand that they are to be separate as separate, in spirit and companionship, from the other boys and girls around them as they see you, their parents, are separated from the men and women with whom you are compelled to mix in the world in your business transactions.
In this case you must be prepared for them to suffer all manner of persecution, and, perhaps, be half killed for the testimony they must bear and the separate life they will have to live. But this you cannot help, and a martyr's school-life endured in their youth, may help them to bear the cross in after life. You must remember it will be a terrible ordeal for them, and you must stand by, and help them with all your might to be brave and faithful servants of the Master.
The next five paragraphs are written for our friends outside The Army:--
14. Then you do not approve of boarding schools?
No, not as a rule. Most of those of which I have had any knowledge have seemed to me far more likely by their associations, spirit, and general influence, to develope and perfect children in pride, worldliness, and scepticism, than to make them humble and brave Soldiers of Jesus Christ. Indeed, to make children followers of Jesus Christ in any practical sense, that is in Holiness, and separation from the world, and in a life devoted to the Salvation of men, is the last thing contemplated in the ordinary boarding school. Not but that it is quite possible to be otherwise, and there are, doubtless, very remarkable exceptions, and the time may come when there will be schools all over the land, the great first object of which will be to make children into good Soldiers of Jesus Christ. At present this happy state of things appears a long way off.
In many schools there are doubtless superiors, masters, and governesses whose hearts and teaching are in favour of a true Christian life. But it is not from the masters that the evils are to be apprehended so much as from the children-many of whom come from godless, worldly homes, having been trained up in unbelief and self-will all their lives, or, at most, in a sentimental sort of religion, which is worse than none at all.
Our advice, therefore, is, except you have found some school to which from personal observation you can testify that our remarks do not apply, and unless you are absolutely COMPELLED by circumstances to send your children away, KEEP THEM AT HOME.
15. How then is a suitable education to be obtained, supposing parents think it desirable, and can pay for it?
We answer, educate your children at home. Well qualified governesses and tutors can be obtained if you are able to pay for them. But here again you must be very careful as to character. Very superior classes can be attended in most large towns, where teaching of the first order can be procured, qualifying for the passing of the highest degrees in education.
If, in answer to this, it is alleged that such a mode is more costly, we reply that if you can afford it, the safety of the morals and the spiritual interests of your children is surely worth the extra outlay. Make a valuation of the purity of your children, and then consider whether any amount of money is too much to pay for it.
16. But if this mode of education be impossible, or will not enable the children to reach the standard of culture desired for them, what then?
If what you aim at cannot be accomplished without running the serious risk of ruining your children for time and eternity by sending them to the ordinary centres of education, and if this education cannot be obtained in any other way, you must be content with an INFERIOR EDUCATION, consoling yourself with the words of the Master:-" What ,;hall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" We suppose you can better endure the thought of your children being imperfectly versed in languages and the higher forms of culture, and deficient in that particular polish attained by a residence in the higher scholastic institutions, than that they should prove faithless to the Master, be untrue to His interests and loose in their morals, form alliances with His enemies, and run the risk of being finally damned!
17. Should not godly parents be willing to make any reasonable sacrifice in order to reside where they can have the advantage of association with real spiritual and godly people?
We need not say here that godly parents who have families (and those who have not) ought to be willing to forego almost any worldly advantages in order to reside near a Salvation Army Corps. Where there are children, they will have the advantages arising from connexion with a people who have real spiritual life and power, and among whom that training and those influences and associations can be had which will help children to save their souls, and be perfected in what is holy, useful, and Christ-like.
No notions of respectability, gain, honour, or friendship, ought to be put into competition for one moment with the Salvation of the children. And when parents do honestly desire this above all else, they will consider no earthly advantages in comparison with it. Yet, alas! it is not very uncommon to find parents professing to be followers of Jesus Christ and to be controlled by the supreme desire to save their own souls and the souls of their children, deliberately moving away from those associations so favourable to the Salvation of their children, and taking them to some distant place where they know and confess there are few soul helps, and few opportunities for usefulness; but where they will, on the contrary, be surrounded with all that is worldly, sensual, and devilish, and where they must run the terrible risk of ruining themselves and their children.
When we have inquired why this sacrifice has been made, and this terrible risk has been run, the answer has come back, "For the sake of a little superior education;" or, "To be near some relation;" or, "To gain a little more money;" or, "To make some advancement in the comfort and gain of this life in one form or other.
Alas! in too many of these cases, and in a very few years, too, the same fate overtakes them which overtook Lot. For worldly advantages, they have, like him, chosen to live in Sodom, and, like him, they find their reward in its destruction.
18. Will not all these prudent and careful arrangements to prevent evil communications and influences tend to make the children weak, insipid, men and women?
We think just the contrary, although some teachers maintain that there are certain advantages flowing from an individual experience of evil, even in children; by which we presume they mean that in the few cases in which children come out of the ordeal of evil associations and corrupt examples unscathed, they will be stronger in virtue for having passed through it. Supposing this were true, we are not to do evil that good may come, and our Lord's last prayer for his disciples was that they might be kept from the evil that was in the world; surely then it must be the duty of all good parents to shield their weak and inexperienced little ones from all avoidable evil. A drowning experience may serve some good end in the future; but who would recommend jumping into the water to gain it, at the terrible risk of being drowned?
We have had some practical experience in the training of children, and an extended opportunity of judging the relative merits of the various modes of training practised by parents and others in charge of children, and we would urge with all earnestness--
(1.) Keep your children ignorant of evil as long as you possibly can. The knowledge of it will come soon enough. When they have become matured, mentally and spiritually, in that knowledge of things, which God has arranged should come upon them in a gradual way-when they have come to see, as they only can see with age, the tremendous advantages of goodness in comparison with the enormous disadvantages of evil, they will be better able to withstand the depriving, polluting, and weakening effect which the knowledge of evil is calculated to bring.
(2.) Keep them innocent. If you keep them ignorant of evil, as we have just said, it will greatly help you to keep them innocent. It is, after all, easier to keep the seeds of sin out of the hearts of your children than to get them out when they have been sown and rooted there. If the tares are to be planted in the soul of your beautiful boy, the least you can do is to let the wheat have a good start and get well hold. There will then be some chance of a hardy growth, and a fair prospect of an abundant harvest for you, for your generation, and your Lord.
19. But is not a training in the society of unconverted boys and girls, even though some of them should be very naughty, likely to make the children strong in love and goodness?
We think we have already replied to this, but would say something still further, and in doing so we shall, perhaps, be excused for adding to the illustration already used. It is said, we believe, of the colonists of some little island in the Pacific Ocean (Pitcairn Island) that they are remarkably good swimmers, and it is further said that they are so because of a somewhat remarkable method of teaching practised among them. As soon as the children can well walk, they are brought down to the sea-shore, the art of swimming is explained to them and then they are thrown into the water, and encouraged to do the best they can. It is said that after a considerable amount of struggling and sputtering, and many hair-breadth escapes from drowning, they find out the faculty of helping themselves, and, as we have said, become strong swimmers.
That may be a very excellent plan for teaching the very useful art referred to; but we cannot recommend a plan of the same kind to parents or others for making their children strong swimmers in the sea of depravity. Nevertheless, this is very much like the plan generally adopted.
Take the school question for instance. Parents know, or they might know if they would be at the trouble to enquire, what the companionship of a school usually means to children of an ordinary kind. There is no pretence to anything like practical religion. Take, for instance, twenty, fifty, or a hundred boys of the usual character in an ordinary establishment. It will not be considered uncharitable if we say that some of those boys, perhaps the majority, will be either CRUEL, DECEPTIVE, UNTRUTHFUL, or UNCLEAN. Any way, if we suppose that they are not in these senses immoral, they will be, as a rule, thorough haters of anything like real godliness, and unceasing tormentors of any boy who might come in amongst them determined to live like Jesus Christ.
Let any reader of this book who has ever been to boarding school-especially a boys' school-stop and think of the hurricane of abuse and ridicule, which is harder to endure than open persecution, which any Salvationist or any child would meet with who was determined to practise the first principles of Christianity. Yet fathers and mothers take their children, on whom they have lavished, it may be, years of anxious prayerful training, and throw them into this seething, hissing whirlpool of depravity and scorn, and leave them there to protect themselves-unlike the Pitcairn Islanders, in this respect, for these do stand by and watch their darlings, and when they are a little exhausted, pull them out and take them home, and strengthen and encourage them for another plunge. But these children are left for months to float or sink, and then-most marvellous delusion of all-they are expected not only to survive the perilous experiment, but to be happy in it, and to come out better boys or girls than they go in-nay, some go further, and expect they are coming out Christians, and more fully qualified to endure the future temptations and trials of life. Jesus Christ taught His disciples, and through them He teaches all parents, to pray that their children may not be led into temptation. How can any parent who daily offers this prayer, go with it on his lips, and place his young, tender, susceptible, inexperienced children face to face with temptations so strong, so subtle, so well adapted to overcome and lead them into present evil and future destruction, that the devil himself could not very well contrive any more so?
There are temptations for every unconverted child, as there are for every unconverted man and woman, before which, if brought into direct contact, it is a dead certainty that both man and child will go down. The wisest plan for men and women, then, who can see the danger ahead of them, must be to keep out of it by avoiding the very temptation to evil. And it must be the wisest and, we think, the only benevolent course, for parents, as far as possible, to keep the feet of their ignorant little children out of paths where they can plainly see so great a likelihood of their being led astray.
What will those parents say for themselves in the last day, who, instead of labouring to keep their children out of temptation, for some supposed advantages deliberately lead them into it?
20. Do not many of the foregoing observations apply with equal force to the companionships into which children may be brought in visiting or in receiving visits from relatives and friends?
Yes, certainly. Persons not decidedly godly should not be allowed, even if relatives, to come into close and continuous association with children. The influence of relatives is likely to be great for good or evil just because of the relationship. The sayings and doings of uncles and aunts and grandparents will exercise a far greater influence over the hearts of children than will the life and conduct of strangers. They will think a great deal more of it all, and consequently be far more likely to remember and imitate it.
How important it is, then, that such examples and influences should be all in favour of that which is holy, useful, and good! Yet we all know how common a thing it is for the parents of children to consider that there is a sort of necessity, on the ground of relationship, for them to receive into their homes, on lengthened visits, unsaved, worldly aunts, cousins, and relatives to the third and fourth generations. Nay, not only is this custom strangely allowed in the face of the risk run, but often tolerated and continued when it is known that these relatives exert an actual influence for evil over the children. The monstrous folly of this course we need not attempt to describe. It is indescribable!
21. Does not the last question equally apply to children paying visits to relatives and friends?
Yes. Many parents who are most anxious that their children should be godly, and who are fully aware of their susceptibility to worldly influences, nevertheless thoughtlessly send them to stay with relatives or friends who are either lukewarm professors, pleasure-seeking worldlings, or altogether godless. Then, when their children develope tastes and habits foreign to what they have for years been seeking to form within them, they profess to be very much surprised and grieved. If, as it has already been said, parents will make opportunities for the enemy to sow broadcast the seeds of evil, they must not be surprised if, at the harvest-time, they find the toil and anxieties of years marred and undone.
22. But may not parents ask the question," Where are we to send our children for change, if not to those of our own relatives and personal friends who will be pleased to see them, take care of their health, do it without charge to us, and, moreover, be offended if we refuse to allow them to do so? "
To this, without hesitation, we reply that it is preferable, if it needs be, that the health of your children should suffer, and that they should be without change, and that your relatives and friends should take offence-if they are weak and foolish enough to do so-rather than you should have your children contaminated by the conversation and example of those, whether friends or relatives, children or adults, who are not THOROUGHLY THE LORD'S.
23. But would not such fears and timidity prove that the training given the children was not very thorough if its effect could be so readily endangered? In other words, would not such fears prove the religion of the children to be of a very gingerbread kind, if a few days' or weeks, intercourse with those not equally decided could endanger or destroy it?
No; it would only prove that you understand the hearts and habits of children. It would also show that you are aware how easily they are influenced in consequence of their tender years and inexperience; that, not being fully established in the faith, you are not willing that they should be exposed to any unnecessary temptation, and that you are determined to shield them to the utmost of your power and opportunity. It would prove also that you are consistent, and that you honestly and supremely prefer, as you say you do, that your children should be good, and holy and Christlike, to all earthly comforts and advantages.
CHAPTER XIX: AMUSEMENTS AND RECREATIONS.
1. Is it allowable that children should be merry and have a certain part of their time set apart for play?
Yes, certainly. Their nature demands it. It is a condition of the happiness of children-almost as much a necessity as their daily food. Play is to children what change of employment, and scene, and friendly intercourse, and exercise are to grown-up people. They must play, and those in authority should recognise this necessity, and be glad to have it so.
2. Ought due consideration to be given this subject?
Yes; amusements of the right class are perfectly consistent with the formation and growth of Christian character; but children should be as carefully watched in their games as in their other pursuits. Numbers are ruined by being left to themselves in their play. Incalculable damage has been done to children in this respect in the playgrounds of schools; or by what is far worse, allowing them to run wild in the streets. In the latter case, they are left with no oversight at all, and in the former are often put in charge of some elder boys, or junior teachers, who all the while have their heads in a newspaper or a novel, or are engaged in some game on their own account, while all sorts of miseries are being wrought, and all sorts of bullying and cheating are being done in holes and corners round about, and in the grounds, right under the eyes of those professedly watching them. Hence, in the leisure hours of children, the good imparted in lessons or religious instruction is in many instances more than lost.
A careful eye should also be kept on the kind of games played, the nature of their toys, and the influence exercised by companions and playmates on the character of the children. This may mean a little trouble, but it will pay well in the long run. You cannot rightly correct the errors, or form the habits, of children without knowing the children themselves, and nowhere can you more readily get at their real character than at their play. There you can soon see whether they are benevolent or selfish, patient or hasty, gentle or overbearing, lazy or industrious, false or true. Watch them a little, and then treat them accordingly.
3. What do you recommend with regard to the amusements and recreations of children?
We recommend that they should be selected, or allowed, in the same spirit and by the same rule as all the other instrumentalities of training. That is, with a view to making the children good and true, and getting them to follow Jesus Christ, in the work of saving the world.
4. Have you any practical suggestions to make on the subject of amusements?
(1.) A portion, at least, of their toys and games should be made to teach some useful lesson. For instance, there are toys that will help them in learning their letters; others will teach them figures, and how to count, and so on with many other things.
(2.) Too much time should not be spent in play. When children are old enough to undertake tasks, let them be employed; otherwise habits of idleness will be formed which will be difficult to destroy in the future.
(3.) Preference should always be given to those games likely to promote health. Therefore, as far as possible, such amusements should be selected as can be taken in the open air, and whether taken indoors or out, those exercises should be chosen which are most calculated to give vigour to the body and sprightliness to the mind.
(4.) Those games and modes of recreation should be regarded with less favour, if they are not positively forbidden, which, however they may be boasted of as being manly and healthy, are absolutely dangerous to life and limb.
(5.) Keep away from children as far as possible such toys and amusements as are calculated to lead to the formation of those evil dispositions and habits which it is one of the main objects of godly training to prevent and to destroy.
For instance, if you do not want to create a warlike spirit in the breasts of your children, keep from them all models of soldiers, guns, and cannons, together with pictures of bloody battle-fields or only let the children see them in order that you may, from them, illustrate and explain your detestation of the cruel and fiendish character of earthly war. We frequently observe, and that with regret, in the homes of parents professing to be followers of the Prince of Peace, toys of this character given to young children-toys which, when explained and used, as it is probable they will be by nurses and attendants, are only adapted to fire the susceptible hearts of the children with the spirit and ambition of war. In this way we are quite sure that, very frequently, seed is sown which, if it does not produce any large quantity of bitter fruit, will necessitate much labour if its evil tendency is to be counteracted in the future.
It is recorded that the first toy the mother of the first Napoleon gave her son was a cannon. We all know what a terrible crop of cruelty, tears, and bloodshed, and all the other hellish fruits and consequences of war were reaped by poor humanity in this man's history, and in the years that followed him. Perhaps this little seed had something to do with this awful harvest.
If mothers do not wish to foster a spirit of pride and vanity in their children, why supply them with dolls dressed out in all the styles and fooleries of the latest fashions? We cannot imagine any method more likely to inculcate the spirit so opposite to true godliness than to give them these models and expressions of worldliness to play with, when at the most impressionable age of their lives. We suppose the little darlings must have dolls, but let them be dressed and got up after the fashion you approve in living children, seeing that they will presume that these are the patterns you wish them to copy, whether you consider them such or not. In other words, the mimic life of children lived amidst their toys, games, and associations, should be made, as early as possible, a picture of that adult life--with that separation from worldliness, and that imitation of the life of Christ-which you desire should be their ultimate earthly destiny.
We think that those amusements which are everywhere admitted to be "worldly" in their character, such as are found at the theatre, the opera, the race-course, concerts (either "sacred " or secular), the circus, and the ball-room must be absolutely prohibited in any form whatever; and moreover, that all imitations and approaches to any of these, got up publicly or privately, should be carefully avoided, as calculated to create the appetite for the greater evil.
But this counsel will be quite superfluous after the chapter on "Companionships," and to those who make any consistent profession of acting on the advice given there. "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing."-2 Cor. vi. 17.
(6.) We think that all games of chance should be forbidden, because calculated to foster an appetite which may in after life develope into gambling. We therefore recommend that all playing with dice, dominoes, cards, or other implements of gambling should be kept away from children.
(7.) We think that games of skill, which necessarily involve strife for the mastery, are of doubtful value to children. They promote the desire to master others, and foster pride and vainglory.
By this we do not mean that such amusements and recreations should be kept from children as involve and lead up to the exercise of skill and the development of superior physical and mental qualities, such as running, leaping, and the like. What we want you to guard against is the encouragement of the spirit in children which makes them find happiness simply in excelling other children, whether in games or any other thing. Cultivate in your children the beautiful spirit which will make them look not only on their own things, desiring their own success or victory, but which will make them rejoice in the success and advancement of the other children about them. The one is the spirit of Jesus Christ, who became poor in order that we might become rich; the other is the spirit of the devil, who cares not whose interests he sacrifices to advance his own. You can foster this spirit in the games of your children, or you can discourage it. Lead the children so to love their companions, and brothers, and sisters, that they shall prefer to see them win rather than themselves.
(8.) Children should be brought to despise the habit-sadly too common-of making sport of the deformities or physical peculiarities of other children.
If a boy is lame, or has a cast in his eye, or stammers in his speech; if he has a limping walk, or an unnatural growth, or a peculiarly delicate look, children should be taught to pity and assist and benefit such an one, showing him particular kindness and notice at every opportunity.
Instead of this, we all know how common and painful a custom it is with many children to look down upon any of their companions whom they consider thus imperfect, to hold them up to ridicule, and to call them nicknames descriptive of what they consider their deformity, weakness, or misfortune.
We believe that it is impossible to imagine the tortures which many children of sensitive natures pass through in the schools, the playgrounds, and meeting-places of children, through this cruel, thoughtless system of making amusement out of the bodily imperfections and peculiarities of others. The guardians and parents of children ought to take every opportunity of coming to the help of these unfortunate ones, and showing up the selfishness, heartlessness, and cruelty of this custom.
(9.) All games and recreations that inflict annoyance and injury on animals should be sternly forbidden and made impossible.
We are not speaking of that fiendish and unnatural Pleasure which some children derive from the direct infliction of pain upon animals; such practices are too manifestly of the devil to need condemnation here, and would, we are sure, never be repeated a second time by any children under the control of Salvationist parents. We are speaking, however, of those amusements, games, recreations, or whatever else they may be called, which cannot be carried on without the infliction of suffering on any creature whose welfare God has directly put in our power. This view will make it at least questionable whether, for their own amusement merely, children ought to be allowed-
1. To take any part in racing or other competitions which overstrain or inflict unnecessary suffering upon horses, dogs, or any other animals.
2. To participate in any sports whatever which torture God's creatures and destroy life when not rendered necessary to supply our own actual wants, or the needs of others. These and all other modes of amusement which cause unnecessary pain to the animal creation in order to gratify the passing moment, tend to blunt the feelings and harden the hearts of children, and so-instead of leading them up to that blessed and tender disposition which prepares them for receiving the Saviour and following His example-strengthen the selfish disposition already inherited, and establish the devil in whatever position he may have got within their hearts.
5. The questions may here be asked, "How, then, are children to be amused? How are they to pass their time away?"
We reply that it must ever be borne in mind that the main purpose in training children is not their amusement, or that they should be supplied with the means of getting the time over pleasantly. The only rational end which godly parents can have in view for their children is to make them good, useful and happy, not only in their present but in all their after life. Therefore, if the training we recommend should fail to amuse them, if it succeeds in saving them and qualifying them to be good Soldiers of Jesus Christ, it must be not only endured, but prized, and that in proportion to the greatness of the end secured.
But there need be no anxiety on this score. We have never in our own home found any difficulty in making the children happy and keeping them well amused by methods perfectly consistent with their real welfare. If there is that in God's Salvation which can make men and women happy all the time-if they can be made to rejoice evermore-then surely it cannot be difficult for Him to make the hearts of the little children glad, and to fully meet their need in this and every other respect.
6. But will you please explain more particularly how this is to be done, with all the restrictions and reservations which you have laid down, seeing that this is a very serious question to those who have the charge of children?
(1.) Children in Salvation Army homes will find endless occupation in holding meetings, singing, praying, and exhorting each other. And that not in mimicry, but in all earnestness and reality. For years it was a regular thing in our own nursery for the children to have a service amongst themselves, at any and every available hour. Many a time their mother has been blessed while listening at the door. When children are good and true, they believe in each other, and the prayers and exhortations of brothers and sisters will often help them more than any others.
(2.) To those old enough, music and the singing of sweet songs are of unfailing interest. Musical instruments of various kinds are cheap enough, from the tin whistle upwards, and it is surprising at how early an age children may be taught to play them. In many families there might be quite a little band taught and practised in playing together, so as to do effective service in our Salvation public meetings. Anyway, by being exercised in this direction, the children would be preparing for more extended usefulness when grown up. Here again we can speak from experience, for no matter what other interests were afloat, we always found our children, young and old, ready to take their places in the little musical band which for years was kept up in our home, the youngest generally playing the triangle. In this way, amusement and usefulness can be admirably combined.
(3.) The elder children will take pleasure in books; and the laying out of a little money wisely expended in this way, will be found one of the best investments that father or mother can make.
(4.) Pictures are a continual source of interest; and the little ones will go over and over them and never tire. A good scrap-book, though got up in the roughest style, made with strong paper and filled up out of the various illustrated periodicals always knocking about, will be very useful, especially if you get pictures about which you can give them plenty of good talk, showing them what Salvation is and what it leads to, and all sorts of other useful and general information.
(5.) The imitations of the various occupations of home life never wear out with children.
When rightly trained, even if left to their own ingenuity, they will find no difficulty in amusing themselves for hours together and day after day after this fashion. How much more so if you give them some little instruction and furnish them with a few materials for playing music, keeping shop, running trains, having a doll's house, and all that kind of thing? When father or mother will condescend to this plan, it can be done with very little outlay of money, be perfectly innocent, and ten thousand times more effective than heaps of toys that have to be purchased and which scarcely hold together until you get them home.
(6.) A box of paints, a fernery, or an aquarium will be useful, but to be of any service some one must teach the children how to use and manage them.
(7.) Gardening. Where possible, let the children have a little piece of ground that they can call their own. If but a square yard or two, this, with one or two tools and a few seeds and plants, will be of unfailing interest. From this you may teach children many useful things, and if you can find them a plot large enough, they will in very early life learn practical lessons in industry as well.
(8.) Keeping animals. Where possible, and where it is convenient, this surpasses all other methods of amusing children. Rabbits, guinea-pigs, birds, a dog, or a kitten will fill a child's mind with delicious joy, and will tend to the development of the kindly feelings of his nature, which will be of use to him in after years. Very little trouble will suffice to give the necessary directions for considerate care and cleanliness, and here again habits of industry will be assisted.
(9.) A few carpenter's tools will occupy a large amount of the leisure time of most boys and of most girls as well, as far as that goes. We have seen girls really skilful in the use of the plane and saw, and anyway, carpentering is quite as sensible an occupation for the girls as the everlasting dressing and undressing of their mimic babies, and some other modes of recreation that are thought quite the thing for them.
Added to these, there are numerous other recreations and amusements ordinarily used by children, to which no exception can be taken, and which indeed are perfectly innocent in themselves, and many of them well calculated not only to amuse children, but to promote their health. In these matters, however, as we have already said, the children will very much look after themselves. If you watch them, and keep their hearts and principles right before the Lord and with each other, they will be humble and easily pleased, and never make it very difficult for you to make and keep them happy.
It is the unnatural, conceited, spoiled, little would-be "lady" or "gentleman" that is so difficult to amuse. Their proud notions will not allow them to be happy themselves, and consequently they will not allow anyone around them to be so, but, on the contrary, spoil every game and recreation with which they have to do. Do not let this spirit have any existence in your children. Kill it at the first appearance, and keep those away from your families who you have reason to believe are possessed of it, and then your children will not only be readily pleased, but they will be a constant source of joy and gladness to everybody about them, and to none more than to yourselves.
7. But ought we not to teach children at as early an age as possible the same sentiments that we teach grown-up people-that they are not to live for HAPPINESS, but for USEFULNESS?
Certainly we ought; and you will not find it very difficult to make them learn this lesson. Children can be so interested in the Salvation War that they shall find unfailing amusement in doing good. Like their Master, it shall not only be as much a necessity to them as their meat and drink to do their Father's will in getting sinners saved and made ready for Heaven, but it shall be their joy and gladness also.
8. Do you think, then, that children can find pleasure in Salvation services?
Certainly I do, and that in the following particulars:--
(1.) All children will be interested in Salvation Army meetings, even before they have any understanding of what is going on. When quite infants they will be interested, and, as their minds develope to perceive the meaning of what is being said and done, and as their hearts open to know and love God and His people, they will be as pleased to go to an Army Free-and-Easy, or an Open-air Meeting, or a Council of War, as the children of this world are to attend a concert, an evening party, or a theatrical performance.
(2.) Saved children will find bodily exercise and stimulus to their natural spirits, as well as indescribable pleasure, in a good march, with or without flying Colours or the stirring strains of the Army Band.
(3.) Saved children will find recreation in selling the "Little Soldier" and the "War Cry" in the streets or roads near their own dwellings, or in taking a walk with a servant, or with some elder Soldiers, into adjoining neighbourhoods or villages for the same purpose. We know several children in different parts of the country who look forward to their holiday afternoons with the highest glee, because of this occupation, and have sometimes been present when they have burst into the room to tell to mother or father how many they have sold, and how much profit they have made for their Corps. Surely this must be better exercise for both body and mind than playing at leap-frog or "cat " with ill-trained schoolfellows. Here will be exercise combined with training in courage, good address, and readiness in reply, while all the time they will be engaged in the great business of life, which is to make known the Saviour of mankind, and spread the blessings of His Salvation.
9. But may it not be objected that to sell "War Crys" would be beneath the position and respectability of some children?
We reply that the same objection may be made with equal force, not only to their fathers and mothers selling it, but to the same parents marching, speaking, or doing any Salvation work whatever in the street. The doing of any thing in earnest to save men from the wicked rebellious spirit of this world and from the punishment of the next, is far from respectable in the eyes of everybody filled with worldly ideas of respectability, but such objections will have no power with-much less will they justify-Salvation Soldiers in the neglect of their duty.
10. Is not the question as to how children are to be amused on the Sabbath often a perplexing one to parents?
Yes; and especially so with regard to very little children, who are not able to understand why they should not go on with their little business on that day, as well as any other. On this subject Mrs. Booth, in her pamphlet on the training of children, says as follows:--
Now, it you want your child to love and enjoy the Sabbath you must make it the most INTERESTING day of the week. If you want him to love and read his Bible you must so tell him its stories, and elucidate its lessons as to make it INTEREST him. If you want him to love prayer you must so pray as to interest and draw out his mind and heart with your own, and teach him to go to God, as he comes to you, in his own natural voice and manner to tell Him his wants and to express his joys or sorrows. The themes of religion are of all themes most interesting to children when dealt with naturally and interestingly.
I used to take my oldest boy on my knee from the time when he was about two years old and tell him the stories of the Old Testament in baby language and adapted to baby comprehension, one at a time, so that he thoroughly drank them in and also the moral lessons they were calculated to convey. When between three and four years old I remember once going into the nursery and finding him mounted on his rocking-horse in a high state of excitement finishing the story of Joseph to his nurse and baby brother, showing them how Joseph galloped on his live "gee-gee" when he went to fetch his father to show him to Pharaoh. In the same way we subsequently went through the history of the flood, having a Noah's ark, which was kept for Sabbath use; making the ark itself the foundation of one lesson, Noah and his family that of another, and the gathering of the animals of a third, and so on until the subject was exhausted.
When my family increased, it was my custom, before these Sabbath lessons, to have a short lively tune, a short prayer in which I let them all repeat after me, sentence by sentence, asking the Lord to help us to understand His Word, and to bless our souls, and so on. After the lesson another short prayer, and then another tune or two. After this they would adjourn to the nursery, where frequently they would go through the whole service again, the eldest being the preacher. When baby was asleep their nurse would read interesting infantile stories to the elder ones, or teach them suitable bits of poetry, by letting them all repeat it together after her. Thus the Sabbath was made a day of pleasure as well of instruction and improvement. I never allowed my children to attend public services till they were old enough to take some interest in them. We had no Army services then, or they would have been able to understand and enter into a great part of them, but I deemed it an evil to make a little child sit still for an hour and a half, dangling its legs on a high seat, listening to what it could neither understand nor appreciate, for, alas! there is little in the ordinary services of our day to interest or profit children, and I am satisfied that a great deal of the distaste for religious services, so common among them, has been engendered in this way. My experience has been that my children have come so highly to appreciate the privilege of attending service, that a promise of it during the week would ensure extra good behaviour and diligence.
In addition to this, we would recommend that some restrictions of the amusement of very little children should be made for the day, and a part, if not all, of their ordinary toys should be removed. Or a distinct set of playthings might be kept for Sundays only -- toys, as Mrs. Booth suggests, which might constitute texts for a series of lessons suited to the understanding of the little ones.
(1.) Don't bore the children with meetings, or lectures, or lessons about religion that are tedious and uninteresting because too lengthy, too numerous, or above their comprehension. By so doing, you will make them hate religion before they understand it, and create an aversion which, unless corrected before they pass from under your control, will drive them off from its influences, services, and ministries when they become the masters of their own movements.
We would like to know how many men there are who not only never go near church or chapel, but feel positive pity for those who are compelled by their own consciences, or the consciences of other people, to do so, who attribute this aversion to being made to attend meetings, when young, that inspired them with no kind of interest.
(2.) For elder children, pictures and books relative to Scripture and Salvation subjects, might be kept, and portions of the same, with Salvation songs, should be committed to memory.
(3.) To Salvation Army children accounts of the Salvation War will be of great interest. If they are old enough to understand geography, the countries can be pointed out to them in which the Colours are flying, and accounts of the history and habits of the people can be given. This is equally true of all mission operations in which parents wish to interest their children.
(4.) The history and geography of the Bible, the life and death of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Salvation War which followed, as reported in the early history of the Church, will form stories of surpassing interest to the children.
(5.) The children can hold meetings amongst themselves.
(6.) The children should always be taken, when old enough, during some part of the day, to a public religious service.
(7.) During the day one of the parents should take the children alone, read the Bible, pray, and deal faithfully with them about their souls.
CHAPTER XX: SAVING THE CHILDREN.
1. What other important form of training is necessary in order to secure the Salvation of the children?
They must be led to so yield themselves to God that He shall receive and make them His real children and true servants and soldiers. Nothing must satisfy you short of leading them into the realization and actual enjoyment of all the blessedness concerning which you have already instructed them; in other words, get them CONVERTED, and then give God all the glory for what has been accomplished.
2. How is this to be brought about, or what measures can a parent adopt in order to secure the Salvation of his children?
(1.) Set yourselves to do it. Make it the main purpose of your dealings with the children. Keep it in view early and late. Sacrifice everything that seems to stand in your way. Count everything gain that will help you, and God will certainly give you the desire of your heart.
(2.) Take the children by the hand and lead them with you into the Presence of God. Show them how to converse with Him. Tell the Lord aloud, while they kneel by, all about them, and then encourage them to tell the Lord all about themselves. In this way draw out their hearts in actual personal dealing with the Saviour.
(3.) Do not be influenced for a moment by the notion held by some people that children are not to pray until they are converted. Men and women, and children too, are to pray anywhere and everywhere, under all circumstances, if they want mercy or anything else at the hands of the Lord. Surely the decree has not gone forth that publicans and little children are not to smite upon their breasts and cry to God to have mercy upon them, because they are sinners. We always thought that was just the reason why they should pray. Therefore, instead of refusing your children the privilege of prayer, urge them to repent and confess their sins to God and ask forgiveness. Make them look into their hearts and lives, and help them to call up to memory their naughty words and ways, and they will go on to remember also naughty feelings and thoughts of which you have no knowledge, and as they look at their sins the Holy Spirit will help them to see how bad they are. Then they will accuse and condemn themselves, and cry for mercy on their own account. Hold them to this. Beware of plastering them with untempered mortar, and crying "Peace! Peace! " when there is no peace.
(4.) When you feel that they truly repent, show them how to trust the Saviour for a present Salvation. Here you will have little difficulty; children as a rule are simple and sincere, and hopeful. They will readily believe all the truth about their Saviour's love, and easily be led to trust in His glorious person. And when they do so trust Him, He will appear to them as their own Saviour, and they will go into the Kingdom with joy and thanksgiving.
(5.) Help them to persevere. The difficulty with children, as with grown-up people, is not to get them started, but to keep them going forward in the way of life. Observe here that the perseverance of the children will depend much-
1. On the sort of influences by which they are surrounded, and on the example set before them in their own homes.
2. On their being supplied with wise and judicious teaching.
3. In their having the helps and encouragements which come only from association with adults and children who, like themselves, are saved with a full Salvation.
If the children are thus privileged we have no fear for the result. But they must be nursed for God and Heaven spiritually, as you have nursed them bodily, or there is little hope. Let the parents and guardians of children stop and think a little here. Multitudes of children, we have no question, are brought into the Kingdom of Divine grace at a great cost of toil, and tears, and prayer, and then are allowed to float out again, for want of NURSING.
They perish because those who have appointed themselves, or been appointed by the Church, to be nursing fathers and mothers, have not done their duty. We assert, fearless of contradiction, that it is just as important that suitable helps, instructions, and occupations should be provided to keep children marching heavenward, as it is in the first instance to induce them to start in that direction; and it is just as irrational to expect them to be kept going forward in the heavenly way without means being employed to help them, as it would be to expect them in the first instance to be converted without measures adapted to that end.
3. May not children grow up into Salvation without knowing the exact moment of conversion?
Yes, it may be so; and in the future we trust this will be the usual way in which children will be brought into the Kingdom.
When the conditions named in the first pages of this volume are complied with-when the parents are godly, and the children are surrounded by holy influences and examples from their birth - and trained up in the spirit of their early dedication-they will doubtless come to know and love and trust their Saviour in the ordinary course of things.
The Holy Ghost will take possession of them from the first. Mothers and fathers will, as it were, put them into the Saviour's arms in their swaddling clothes, and He will take them, and bless them, and sanctify them from the very womb, and make them His own, without their knowing the hour or the place when they pass from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of Light. In fact with such little ones it shall never be very dark, for their natural birth shall be, as it were, in the spiritual twilight, which begins with the dim dawn, and increases gradually until the noonday brightness is reached; so answering to the prophetic description, " The path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." (Prov. iv. 18.)
4. How can parents best help to keep their children stedfast?
(1.) When the child professes to be converted, and you have no reason to doubt such profession, at once acknowledge it, and encourage him to confess definitely and boldly what the Lord has done for him. This will commit him to a life of separation from evil, and help him to persevere. You must remember that a very general unbelief prevails as to the possibility of children having an assurance of any kind as to their being the subjects of the Kingdom of God. If this unbelief is in your heart the children will very soon discover it, and you can easily see what a difficult task it will be for them to hold on in the face of the so-called " judgment " (which may be neither more nor less than the unbelief) of those whom they are likely to consider so much better informed than themselves about such matters.
(2.) Take the children apart as regularly as you have opportunity, and pray with them, encouraging them to pray aloud for themselves and everyone about them.
(3.) Encourage them to persevere. Children are very much influenced by their feelings. Nothing, we all know, is more uncertain than feeling, and when, from varied reasons, the children get sad and low-spirited, they will be tempted to think they are not converted after all, and be tempted to cast away their confidence, give way to unbelief, and so lose hope. At such times, and, indeed, at all times, it will be necessary for you to assure them that while they have the inward witness that their hearts are really set on pleasing their Saviour, and while they feel and know that they are obeying Him they should continue to believe that they are accepted and approved by Him. You must insist upon it, that they are perfectly right and safe in keeping on believing it, however dark or hard they may feel.
Children need encouraging even more than grown-up people, just because they are ignorant and inexperienced and naturally forgetful, and therefore so easily led off and carried away by the passing amusements and excitements of the hour. But you must not doubt their conversion, or be led away to pronounce it all a mistake, because they display faults, or are occasionally naughty, or disobedient, or irritable, or bad-tempered; that is to say, if they are occasionally overtaken and overcome by their besetting sins.
A beautiful illustration of my meaning came out the other day in the confession of a Little Soldier who had been absent from the meeting, and was visited by her Sergeant. When asked the reason of her absence, she answered in a most dejected tone, " Oh, I've lost it! " meaning her sense of Salvation; "I lost it through slapping the baby." The Sergeant., who was a grown-up Soldier, thought how possible it would be for an adult to lose it if compelled to tug about with a burden, and possibly a fractious one, twice as heavy as her strength was equal to. The Sergeant, however, did not excuse the fault, but rejoiced in the tenderness of conscience which the Holy Spirit had evidently begotten in this poor little girl. She encouraged her to come back to the Saviour confessing her fault, and assured her that Jesus could, and would-if she trusted Him-give her the victory over her temper in future.
Oh, that all parents and guardians and Officers placed in authority over the children would deal with them as wisely-nay, as much in the compassionate spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ-as did this Little Soldiers' Sergeant! If they did, they would have their reward in the perseverance of the little Saints whom it is their privilege to watch over. If they do not, let them not be surprised if the goodness of the children is only as the morning cloud and the early dew-no doubt an unquestioned reality while it lasts, but only of short duration, for want of care on the part of those whose business it is to nurse and care for them, and on whose shoulders, therefore, the responsibility of failure rests.
When they are led astray, urge them to come again for forgiveness, and that at once. Always remember that children are not capable of disguising their feelings like men and women, but act them out with the greatest simplicity, and consequently you must have all manner of patience with them.
While the main purpose and prevailing spirit of their lives is to please God and do their duty, you are never to be weary in persuading the children to go forward.
(4.) Encourage the children to tell you the difficulties they have to meet with, and to confess to you when they get wrong, or fall into sin. Be sure you never refuse to hear or advise with them on such matters. On the contrary, bear with them most patiently. Advise them how to resist their temptations and surmount their difficulties, and encourage them again and again with the most positive assurances of success if they will persevere. Cultivate the greatest freedom in speaking with them on spiritual matters, until the natural diffidence of their hearts to talk about spiritual things is broken down and destroyed for ever. By pursuing this course it will soon become just as natural for them to talk to you about their spiritual, as it is about their temporal interests. It is usually pride, or shame, or satanic influence, or unbelief which prevents people from conversing on spiritual things, and you should take every means to destroy these fatal influences out of the hearts of your children. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT to the spiritual welfare of children than keeping the freest possible intercourse open between them and their godly parents.
As we have travelled about the country we have observed in many families the greatest diffidence and awkwardness in conversing about spiritual matters. People will talk to each other about their church or chapel, or about religion in a general sort of way, but the interests of their own souls are never alluded to in a straightforward manner. Indeed, so far as any personal dealing or direct conversation goes, about individual Salvation, the daily intercourse of many families would be just about the same had they not got any souls at all-as if they had not to go up together to the judgment seat of Christ, and afterwards live for ever in Heaven or Hell.
We have known fathers and mothers-professors of religion of years' standing, sometimes high officials in churches-who could not by any means screw up their courage to speak directly to their own children, or even to each other, on the subject of personal Salvation. We have seen these people, when the great questions of Salvation and damnation have been pressed home upon their attention by the powerful influences of great religious awakenings, compelled to write letters to their sons and daughters, setting forth the importance of their coming out for God and getting right with Him!!! They feel they must do something-very proper they should-and we suppose they had better do it in this way than not at all.
But what an unnatural, stiff, stand-off, unscriptural, un-Christlike sort of religious atmosphere is this for parents and children to have grown up together in! Can this be supposed for a moment to be the right kind of family religion? "Is this the NURTURE and ADMONITION of the Lord?" Never! It looks much more like the nurture of the ostrich or the cuckoo, which are said to leave the nursing of their young to the tender mercy of chance, and far more akin to professional indifference than to the warm, happy freedom wherewith Christ makes His people free.
The mother can talk to her child, and the father to his son, on all the range of worldly topics with the greatest ease and pleasure, and that from their earliest days. And the topic of Salvation should certainly be more frequently and fully dealt with than any other. When it is thus, no such wall of separation as we have been describing can possibly grow up between parents and children, or between brothers and sisters, on divine and eternal themes.
(5.) Read the Bible with your children regularly. So soon as they can comprehend, explain to them that God has Him self caused this Book to be written, to teach and guide them. Create for it in their hearts the greatest respect and reverence.
Read a short portion at a time. When they can read themselves it is wise to let them read aloud with you, verse by verse. In doing so, strive to keep their attention. Always remember how easily their minds are taken off by passing thoughts, so that you should be continually watching to find out whether they are attending to what is being read.
Carefully explain the meaning of what you read: better read one verse, or half a one, and make the children understand it, than twenty without. Never take for granted that, children understand a thing because it has been explained to them before, or because they don't tell you at the time they do not understand it, or because they ought to understand it, or because you understood it at their age. Always bear in mind how forgetful children are, and how busy the devil is to steal away the good seed that has been already sown: and go on patiently repeating and repeating yourself until they do remember and do understand.
Always make what you read interesting, because if you do not, you might as well save your labour and keep the Bible away from the children. No greater injury can be done to them than to so read and teach the Bible as to surfeit them with it, and make it a distasteful book. It is a question whether it would not be better not to teach it at all, and let them grow up totally ignorant of its sublime facts and principles than to so bore them with it that they shall be made to hate and avoid it afterwards, which we are afraid is the case with very much Bible teaching.
Always apply what you read to their own personal experience and condition so far as their experience and condition are known to you, and to the facts of everyday life around them. We fancy the Bible is very often so presented to children as to make them grow up with the notion that it was once a very important book, having in it a number of statements, sentiments, and doctrines, that were very applicable to a people who lived a long time ago; but that it has very little relation to them so far as their everyday joys and sorrows are concerned: in short, that it is an old-fashioned book, altogether out of date now-a-days. Now you should explain and apply the Bible, showing how the people of ancient times were men and women such as you are; that the child-life then was just the same sort of life, having just the same trials and difficulties, as child-life has to-day. Show them that God is no respecter of persons, and that the same conduct now, as then, will bring with it the same blessing or the same curse. To so read the Bible to your children as to make them feel that it is their book, intended by God to be the guide of their youth, is a very important and necessary duty.
This course should be taken with all your children, whether you have reason to hope that they are converted or not.
(6.) See that the children regularly attend religious meetings adapted to their age and intelligence, where such are within their reach.
As a rule, the regular services of ordinary Churches and Chapels are above their comprehension, and inspire them with very little interest. They are consequently altogether outside their sympathies, and the children neither understand nor care for them; their minds, not being able to take in the meaning of the discourse, or to feel any interest in the ceremonial, wander off to their toys, and games, and lessons, and all the other little interests of their daily life. It is perfectly natural that it should be so. The services are not in any shape or form intended for children. They are meant to meet the need of people of thought, intelligence, and experience in all the difficulties of religious life and all the controversies of the day, about which the little ones know nothing, and, if it were possible, care still less.
If we were asked to advise parents how they should act in such a case, we should feel somewhat at a loss to answer. In our own family, before we knew The Salvation Army, we may say we always supplemented the regular adult service with a meeting held with the children themselves, in which hymns, and prayers, and scriptural explanations were given adapted to their age, experience, and intelligence. This meeting was usually conducted by their mother, the children being encouraged to take an active part themselves. (See answer to Question 11 in preceding chapter.)
Salvationists, for whom these directions are more specially written, have great advantages in this respect as to public meetings. The Army services are usually within the capacity and interest of children, because the prayers, songs, addresses, and scriptural explanations are so uniformly spoken to the heart, and measured and adapted to the intelligence of ordinary working people. All the exercises are made short, lively, and simple, and beyond all this, they are usually attended with those influences of the Holy Spirit to which children's hearts are specially susceptible. Little Soldiers' meetings, where properly and effectively conducted, are better still.
5. Is there not sometimes a difficulty in forming a correct judgment as to whether children are really converted, even when they profess to be?
Yes, undoubtedly there is; but unless the conduct of the children unmistakeably contradict such a profession, we should always interpret it in the most hopeful manner. Great care is required in this direction, as we have already intimated. It is perfectly natural to suppose that Satan should attack children after the same fashion as he does grown-up people, and one of his common devices is to seek to create doubts as to the reality of the change which has been experienced.
You must beware of allowing the devil in any shape or form to make you his ally in leading your children into doubt and fear on the question. Beware also of making your experience, or the experience of older people, the standard for the children. If there is any ground to hope that God has operated, and is still operating on their hearts, by all means give them the benefit of that hope, and rely upon the teaching and Power of the Holy Spirit to rectify what seems to you to be wrong and wanting in them, and to lead them into all needed truth and Salvation.
6. What should be done with children who, after making a profession of Salvation, backslide and fall into sin?
What do you do with children who, after being washed and dressed and sent out for a walk, slip and fall on the dirty, muddy road? You answer, "We help them up again, wash them, and put a plaster on the sore place if one has been made by the fall." Well, we say, act just after the same fashion when your children have the misfortune to stumble and dirty themselves spiritually by falling into sin, and so come again under the power of the devil. Run after them; pity and pray for them; help them up again; lead them to the cleansing Blood, and encourage them to hope that the same calamity shall never happen again. Do this just as often in one case as you would in the other, and if you persevere the child will get right again, and in a little time grow stronger and learn to go out even on to slippery places and not fall; nay, in a little season he shall run and not be weary, walk, and not faint.
But when your children slip and come to grief, little or nothing is gained by upbraiding or scolding them, and still less by telling them that you expected it would be so. We cannot conceive of any method much more likely to serve the interests of the devil and drive your children to despair, than letting them see that you have no faith in their being able to persevere.
Surely the beautiful parable of the Saviour with regard to the wandering sheep is applicable to parents and worthy of their imitation with respect to their own children, if it is applicable to any Christian shepherds at all. If father or mother has a lamb that leaves the fold and wanders, in heart, away on to the mountains, they ought to act on the counsels laid down, follow it into the wilderness, and with pity, and tenderness, and rejoicing bring it in their arms into the fold again.
7. Is it surprising that of the small number of children who make any profession of religion, so few endure to the end?
Not in the least, seeing that the children have very great difficulties in their way.
(1.) Children, in common with adults, have to fight against the world, the flesh, and the devil.
(2.) Children have to contend with the depressing influences arising from the common unbelief of adult Christians as to whether young people can be converted, or whether they are converted when they profess to be.
(3.) There are literally no arrangements in ordinary churches or family organisations to help the children in the hard fight they have to make against their enemies.
(4.) Children are so inexperienced as to the nature of evil that they are continually being taken by surprise, falling into traps and snares concerning which they have never had the opportunity of hearing anything.
(5.) Children, being so naturally light-hearted, are easily led away into folly and frivolity, by which they grieve the Holy Spirit and bring themselves into condemnation.
(6.) Children are so affectionate and so anxious to please those whom they love, that they are often induced to do things that are doubtful from sheer kindness of heart.
(7.) Children, as a rule, are so sincere that it is not only distasteful, but almost impossible, for them to play a part. The moment they come to feel they have done wrong they throw up the profession of religion, go away into unbelief and despair, and accept the notion everywhere prevalent that real godliness is impossible to little children.
If you want to keep your children, watch them and condescend to be at some trouble to understand them and the difficulties that strew the pathway their little feet have to tread in order to reach the heavenly shore. Many parents carry their heads so high that they forget the slippery paths of their own youth, neither considering the danger of their own darlings nor helping them to escape it.
Be assured, however, that not only can your children be saved, but they can be kept-if you will be at the trouble.
8. But do not these counsels go on the assumption that the Salvation of the children is very much a human affair?
We do not wish it to be thought so. On the contrary, we wish it to be understood all the way through that the Salvation of children, as of grown-up people, is only accomplished by the Power of the Holy Ghost through the precious Blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
If the children are ever saved, or kept saved, whether for a day only, or for ever, it will only be by the Power or God. At the same time we do wish it to be understood that Salvation is conditional. If the children repent and believe, they will be converted; that is, if they are old enough to understand what repentance and faith are, or to practise them, understood or not. And if their parents use suitable means, and pray and believe and watch over them, they will not only be saved, but kept by the Power of God unto everlasting life.
It is in the kingdom of grace as in the kingdom of nature--the kingdoms are but one-if you plough and sow and harrow you shall reap, but your seed will quicken and grow and ripen all the same by the Power of God.
CHAPTER XXI: LITTLE SOLDIERS.
1. Is it right and desirable that children should be allowed to take any personal and active part in the warfare God is carrying on against sin and the devil?
Yes; we think it is. And we think that all children, as we have already shown, ought to be trained in that way which seems the most likely to qualify them for taking their share in the fight with the greatest success.
2. Can you give any reason for this?
Yes; and at the onset we would ask how otherwise can little children have the religion of Jesus Christ at all? We have already seen that religion does not consist in holding certain opinions, going through a certain ceremonial of Bible-reading, hymn-singing, sermon-hearing, and the like; but in having the spirit of Jesus Christ, which is not only the spirit of Holiness, but of God-like benevolence and Divine love. And if little children have this spirit, they will pity other children who have it not, who are living in sin, and growing up to be wicked men and women on the way to Hell, and they will want to save them, and they will not be happy unless they can put forth some effort to do so.
This is all perfectly natural; and if children have this pitying love, and this earnest desire to benefit and bless and save people, what can be more rational than that they should be trained up from earliest childhood in those habits and methods of warfare which seem most likely to be successful? Nay, that they should be taught how, as little children, they can best serve the interests of Jesus Christ, and do the greatest amount of good?
3. Can you give any other reason why children should be trained up as Soldiers, and allowed to take a public part in the work of God?
Is it not a commonly received truth with regard to all life that, unless there be the exercise of it, it is certain to shrivel up and perish? And is not this equally true of spiritual life? We see every day an exemplification of it in professedly Christian men and women, around us, and there can be no question but that it is equally true of the spiritual life of little children.
If, then, you do not find them scope for the development of the life they have, and give them the opportunity for using their spiritual gifts, they will lose them, and either give up all profession of religion, or be content with nothing more than the form of it.
4. But can little children be made into Soldiers, and be taught and trained to do fighting of any value to the Kingdom of God?
Yes; and that a great deal easier than most grown-up people, just because they are so much more simple. We all know how readily children are led and influenced; how careless and indifferent they are to what is called public opinion; how easily they can be moulded into whatever shape you wish, or led to the discharge of whatever duty you may choose. And when they have the Spirit of God, and are wrought and fashioned in it, they will easily be made just the sort of Soldiers God delights in.
5. But what can the little ones do?
They can do for the little world in which they move as much as adults can for their big world. They can live holy lives. They can testify to the Power of God to save. They can sing the songs of Salvation so sweetly, that often proud, hard-hearted, grown-up people will be compelled to listen, and made to feel, and weep. They can pray-not, perhaps, with much oratorical glitter, or the ability to convey any great amount of information to the Almighty; but none the less they can intercede for souls, and pray the fervent effectual prayer which avails as much in a little child as in a man, when that prayer is wrought by the Holy Spirit. I know a lady who has done some hard fighting for God. I have heard her tell how she used to feel the burden of souls frequently, before she was twelve years old, so powerfully that she could have knelt in the street to pray for them. And doubtless she would have done so had there been a Salvation Army to make the opportunity for her.
Children can also warn other children-yes, and adults as well; not in a very loud and terrifying manner, it may be, but none the less likely to be listened to for all that. And they can exhort others to do the same. Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings the great Master has been, and shall be, clever enough to ordain results that shall show forth His praise.
6. Then you think real and abiding good comes from the Salvation work of little children?
Most certainly we do. When this world's history is brought to a close, and the records of soul-saving toil are made up, little as the children have been recognised and instructed on this subject, it will be found that a vast multitude have by them been led to the Saviour. What myriads there are already in Heaven,-fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, infidels, profligates, drunkards; in short, sinners, of all classes, and ages, and degrees of depravity-who after resisting the forcible appeals of the most eloquent preachers and all the combined efforts of the most powerful organisations, have fallen at the mercy-seat through the apparently feeble and simple words of little children! And, thank God! there is a multitude on earth, as well as in Heaven, whom the children have led to the Fountain.
We have none of us any idea what a mighty force can be created out of these despised and neglected little ones.
7. But is there not another very important consideration which should induce us to train children as Little Soldiers?
Yes, perhaps a more important one still; namely, that in so doing, we are preparing a mighty force for the Salvation War of the future. We see what a power the children might be made now in their own homes, among their companions, in their school grounds and neighbourhoods. We see what powerful missionaries to proud, or profligate, or drunken parents, the children might become.
We see how they can often find entrance where the doors are closed against their elders; and that in life and in death their words have frequently a power on those who love them, which no Minister, Deacon, or Salvation Army Officer could ever hope to wield. For all these reasons we say, teach, train, watch over, and care for the children.
But think, further, of the possibility of raising a multitude of men and women whose bodies have never been poisoned by vicious indulgences, whose minds have been enlightened and filled with the principles of Divine truth from their infancy, and whose hearts, from their earliest days, have been inspired with the love of Christ and possessed with the ONE SUPREME AMBITION to glorify the Father, dethrone the devil, destroy sin and save the world! And who in all their calculations for the future, reckon upon making any sacrifices, carrying any crosses, or enduring any sufferings necessary to crown the undertaking with victory!
We can see in such a force a dim foreshadowing of the time when all shall know Him, from the least unto the greatest. And to create such a force must be worthy of any amount of sacrifice and toil and care on our part. Let us make haste to be the means of converting, teaching, watching over, drilling and using the children, and it may yet be said not only of individuals, but of the nations, "a little child shall lead them."
CHAPTER XXII: HOW TO MAKE LITTLE SOLDIERS.
How must Salvationists go about the work of giving their children the home training necessary to make them Little Soldiers?
(1.) You must make the children understand that God expects them to do their share of the fighting, and encourage them to do it. As with every other counsel we have given to you, begin with them early. Beget within them the conviction that soul-saving is going to be their life-work, and get them fired with the ambition to go to their post and die there before they are brought into contact with cold, freezing, unbelieving, half-hearted professors. Always remember that this class will snub your Little Soldiers, and sneer at their work in every direction. They won't want the little Davids even to come and see the war, much less to have an opportunity to try the effect of their slings and stones on the Goliaths who strut about defying their great armies in every direction. For the Scribes and Pharisees, who pour contempt on the idea of children having any experimental knowledge of Salvation, will be shocked and horrified beyond measure at their making any effort to save anybody else.
So unless you are prepared to stand by and cheer them on, it is ten to one but their kindling zeal will be extinguished on its first bursting out by some awfully learned divine, or some morosely heartless authority in religious things. You must, therefore, push them on, and supply them with justification for what they do. You will find plenty of arguments in favour of their having a hand in the fight from the Bible, from the experiences of The Salvation Army, in the call of the Holy Ghost which they hear sounding in their own hearts, and in the pitying love they feel for the perishing souls around them.
Justify the children to themselves in what they are undertaking, by telling them that if one of those objecting divines had fallen into a pit and could not get out, neither he nor any of his household would object to A CHILD helping him out, or running to tell others to come with ropes for his deliverance.
Tell the children that if the house of this learned clergyman was on fire, neither he nor any of his family, from the baby upwards, would object to a child waking them up, or arousing somebody else, with the startling information that the smoke was coming out of the bottom windows of the Rectory, and it would soon be in a blaze.
And then you should make the children understand that when they find their friends, whether young or old, in the pit of sin, or exposed to the fire of Hell, it is perfectly right and lawful in the sight of the holy angels and in the sight of God, for them, though they may be very young, to tell these sinful men and women, who may be very old, of a Saviour who is willing and mighty to save.
(2.) If you want to make your children Little Soldiers, not only dedicate them in infancy, as shown in a previous chapter, but as soon as they have come to years of understanding-as soon as you have reason to believe that they are converted-encourage and show them how to dedicate themselves to a life-long war with sin, drink, and the devil.
History records that the people of Carthage-so bitter was their hatred towards Rome, their old enemy-dedicated their children from the birth to hostility to the Romans, and, when old enough, bound them by the most solemn vows to a life-long struggle against them. We commend their example to all Salvation parents. Offer your children from the birth for the War, plant the seeds of undying enmity to all iniquity in their bosoms, and as soon as able to understand you, make them promise to fulfil your vows, and then train them to efficiently carry out that purpose.
(3.) Take your children, if converted, to the meetings of Little Soldiers, if there are any within reach, and encourage them to speak and pray, and join in the marches, and so let them grow up in a bold and outspoken confession of Christ.
Why not? Who is afraid to follow the command of the Master that what has been heard in the closet is to be spoken on the house-top? Who is to say that this command is not as applicable to little children as to the older disciples? Of course all along I suppose that you believe in the sincerity of your children in the profession of Christianity they make. If not, for God's sake, for theirs, and for your own, keep them from any public exercise, profession, or confession of the same. But if you are satisfied of their sincerity, do everything which seems likely to commit them still further to the stand they make for the Master.
If there are no meetings of any kind of The Salvation Army in your neighbourhood, get up a children's meeting in your own house, or in some other, on purpose to give them the opportunity to exercise their gifts.
CHAPTER XXIII: OBJECTIONS TO LITTLE SOLDIERS.
1. Are not many good Christian people very much opposed to children taking any public part in effort for the Salvation of souls?
Yes, they are; but this does not prove the practice to be wrong, seeing that a great many very good Christian people make the strongest objections to uneducated men or women saying or doing anything in public to save sinners from going to Hell. In fact, many professors of religion object to anybody taking an active part in public services except the ordained ministers of a particular Church. Therefore the objection of such people to children taking any part in the War of itself proves nothing.
2. Will you name some of the objections these persons bring against children speaking and praying publicly?
(1.) It is said that children do not understand spiritual things well enough to talk about them. But spiritual things are not matters of the understanding so much as of the heart and conscience; and saved children understand and know them far better than unsaved ministers or divines, or writers, or anybody else who has not the Spirit of God, no matter how learned they may be.
Was it not precisely this over which the Saviour rejoiced when he said, "I thank Thee, O Father, that Thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes"? And did He not once set a little child in the midst of His disciples, and say, "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven"? And was He not found in the temple about His Father's business at twelve years old?
Surely, both by precept and example, our Lord has shown us that mere intellectual qualifications, age, and human experience are nothing without that spiritual discernment and power which come only by inward revelation, and which, if possessed only by a little child, make that child mighty through God.
(2.) It is objected that children cannot possibly be sufficiently experienced in Salvation to talk about it. This, like most of the other objections brought against children's working for God, would equally apply to all testimonies of Divine things borne by new converts, whether those who testify be old or young.
If children have realised the forgiveness of sins, then they must, of necessity, be sufficiently experienced to be justified in saying so; and unless they do say so, they cannot comply with the statement of the Holy Spirit, who says that "With the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto Salvation."-Rom. x. 10.
(3.) It is objected that children should not speak of their conversion, because they may be mistaken.
This is equally true of old converts. Indeed, children being much more simple and sincere than adults, they are quite as likely to know, and be correct in stating what God has done for them, as older people are.
(4.) It is objected that children are so fickle, and so frequently fall away, and that to do so after taking a public part in religious teaching will bring discredit on the Lord's work.
The same may be said as to adults. Are no grown-up people to testify until they are sure that they will not fall away? If so, there would be very few testimonies at all; because, how can any man guarantee his future perseverance? But it is not certain that a greater proportion of children fall away than of adults; only that, in the case of children, when that calamity happens, as we have before observed, they are sincere enough to give up professing, and go out of the ranks of the Lord's Host altogether; whereas, in the cases of adults, when the salt has lost its savour-when all the spiritual power has gone out of their hearts-they are only too often ashamed to say so, and, whether from this or some other motive, they keep up the form of godliness, although destitute of the power.
(5.) It is further objected that, to take part in public services, or to do anything for the Salvation of others, is calculated to puff children up, and make them vain. No doubt there is a danger here, which we see quite clearly; but the Spirit of God will lift up a standard against the enemy in the hearts of the little ones; and if parents will become workers together with Him in warning them against spiritual pride, and showing them how awful and offensive to God any such feeling must be, exhorting them to humility and self-abasement, and exhibiting this spirit before them in their own soul exercises, such parents will be gladdened by seeing united in their children the meekness of babes with the courage of true Soldiers of Jesus Christ.
But is there not the danger of being puffed up with grown-up people? Are those who raise this objection prepared to stop everybody who takes part in public meetings because there is a possibility of their being exalted and made conceited thereby? If they were, I am afraid they would silence a great number who now take a prominent part in public services.
(6.) It is objected that for children to speak publicly is a reflection upon their fathers and mothers and elders who may not be converted.
When such are the facts, it is very proper that mothers, fathers, and elders should be reflected upon, and there is no doubt in many cases it has made such unsaved and useless elders ashamed of themselves after a very blessed fashion. But apart from this, if everyone is to be prevented from taking part in public meetings, whose doing so would reflect upon others who have been before them in opportunity and privilege, but who are behind them in Salvation, there will be no speakers left, for, as in the beginning, the last are first, and the first are still last.
(7.) When the children do not live according to their profession, is it not said to lead the enemy to blaspheme? Well, suppose it does, is it more so in the case of children than in that of adults? If we were to stop all children from taking part in public religious Services because some of them did not live in private according to their religious profession, we ought with equal justice to stop the public exercises of all grown-up people for the same reason, and by this rule every Christian's mouth would be closed tomorrow.
(8.) It is objected that children ought not to speak because their statements are so often parrot-like-the mere repetition of what they hear older people say.
But will not this objection apply with almost equal force to adult speakers? If no one is to testify, preach, or pray, but those whose utterances are entirely original,-if from all sermons and exhortations there is to be taken out all that these speakers have heard from the lips of others or read in books or commentaries, what an awful silence there will be in most cathedrals, churches, and chapels on the approaching Sabbath!
But if in describing the changes God has wrought in them, or in expressing their desires for those about them, or if in the petitions they offer to God, suppose the children do use the language they have heard from older people, is it so very objectionable if God has repeated in them the same experience?
It is not the words we have to care about so much as the ideas, feelings, and desires which the words represent, and if the ideas, feelings, and desires are what they should be, we cannot very well complain because they are described in the language of other people.
Suppose one out of a row of children were to state that he was a sinner lost and undone, and that God in mercy had pardoned him, and made him aware of the fact, and put the desire in his heart to see all the other children and big people in the world converted and made as happy as he was, I do not know that I should complain if the rest of the children in the same row were simply to say ditto, ditto, providing there was reasonable ground for concluding that they spoke of what had really occurred.
What we want are facts; give us these, and we will not quarrel about the manner in which they are related, or about the special words used to describe them.
CHAPTER XXIV: DRESS.
1. Is the subject of dress of sufficient importance to be considered in connexion with the training and instruction of children?
Yes; we think it is, and that because it has so much to do with their health, and the formation of their character, and therefore with the shaping of their destiny both in this life and in the next. Especially is this true of girls.
2. Is it important, then, that children should have correct views on this topic imparted to them very early in life?
Yes; unless they are inspired while quite young with correct notions and feelings on this subject, they will be in danger of being either led astray and ruined by the shameless examples set them in every direction, or, having no intelligent and scriptural convictions on the matter, it will be a source of controversy and irritation all the way through life. I have no doubt that it is so with multitudes of sincere God-fearing women. They are either all indecision, or, having correct views on the subject, they refuse to carry them out at all costs.
There is only one straightforward course for women who hold the Bible as the rule of their life and practice, and that is, to utterly despise, and for ever renounce all obligation to follow the fashions of the ungodly world around them, and to openly avow this determination. In other words, they should boldly resolve to set the world at naught and dress as seems to them becoming godliness and good sense, and then uncompromisingly carry out their resolution. If Christian women would only act thus, it would save them not only heaps of money, but an amount of trouble and misery that cannot very well be overstated.
3. In dressing children, ought not parents to keep in view the sort of men and women they desire them to become in after life?
Certainly they ought. If parents want their children to turn out proud, vain, frothy, and worldly, let them dress them accordingly; that is to say, after the fashion of those who are such. If they want them to grow up sober, steady, thoughtful, and intelligent Saints, the true followers of Jesus Christ in simplicity and sacrifice, let them make the children wear such raiment as seems to correspond with this kind of spirit and character.
Be as careful in dressing the little ones meekly and after Salvation fashion as you are in dressing yourself. As we go about the country it pains us to see parents who are themselves dressed modestly, perhaps in Salvation Army uniform, decking out their infants and children in robes and ribbons altogether at variance with the mode in which they dress themselves. Some parents will pray in your presence-nay, before any number of people-that their children may become good Soldiers of Jesus Christ and of The Army, and there is no doubt they have a real ambition and a hopeful expectation that they will become such, and yet they will dress them up and decorate them in such a manner as seems flatly to contradict all they say.
While the children are under your control and influence, make them dress just as you will wish them to do after they go from under your direction. Remember that you are now forming the tastes and habits which they will carry out by-and-bye, so be careful what you accustom them to be.
4. How are children to be dealt with on this question?
(1.) First, and of chief importance, they should have a thoroughly honest and consistent example placed before them. Unless the example corresponds with the teaching, the teaching will be in vain. If you want your children to dress neatly and plainly, you must do so yourself.
(2.) Teach your children to avoid all kinds of dressing in any way calculated to injure health. Show them the evils of tight lacing, high-heeled narrow boots, heavy headgear, over-long dresses, and all such things, and make them despise everything of the kind which is unnatural and injurious, however attractive it may otherwise appear, or whoever else may wear it. Make them understand the importance of varying their clothes in the different seasons, wearing heavier apparel in winter, and lighter in summer. Make them understand the use of flannel, the evils of damp clothes, wet feet, and other things of the same kind. Do this while they are young. Reason with them on the subject. Show them why and wherefore they should do these things, and they will take care of themselves to an extent that will surprise you-and other people into the bargain. Moreover, they will soon acquire more wisdom than many men and women on the subject. (See chapter on "Health.")
(3.) Teach the children that their dress ought to endorse and support their profession of Salvation; that is, if they make one. If they say with their lips that they have renounced the world and all its pomps, why should they go straightway and give the lie to their profession by covering themselves with those things which are the chief signs and glories of the world? Don't let them do so, but on the contrary, if possible, let your children's dress confess their Lord and identify them with His people.
The children of Salvationists should be accustomed from childhood to the uniform, the Army badges, and other signs of Salvation. Put the colours on the baby. As soon as he is born, cover him with a Salvation robe, and let him be entered on The Salvation Army roll. If you want God to regard and favour your children as Salvationists, be sure that you acknowledge and confess them to the world as such. Seeing that by the clothes they wear the children can signify either that they belong to God or that they do not, it must be their duty to say even by their dress that they are on the side of Jehovah, and are willing for everybody else to know it. There is a sense in which the true Soldier may comply even in what is deemed so insignificant a matter as dress, with the statements of the Saviour, and avoid the terrible condemnation contained in them-
Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.-Matt. x. 32.
For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of Man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father's, and of the holy angels.-Luke ix. 26.
(4.) Children should be trained to regard with pity and contempt all the pomp, pageantry, and pride of worldly fashion.
(5.) As soon as girls are old enough, they should be shown the utter folly and wickedness of any systematic dressing with the view of attracting the attention and admiration of men, or of outshining their companions and neighbours.
(6.) Be thorough in your practice, and make your children thorough also. We often see Salvationists and other professed followers of Christ dressing neatly, on the whole, or in Army style, and thereby making the impression on all about them that they wish to be regarded as on the side of the King, and yet wearing one or two fashionable things, trifling in themselves, but just enough to show that they are not saved from the desire to be well thought of by the fashion-loving world. Don't do so. Be out-and-out. Make a clean sweep of all that is likely to attract the admiration of worldly people, and so be done with all controversy upon the subject. Do not let your Lord have "somewhat against you" in carrying out, among other commands, the one given by the Holy Ghost through Paul, "Be not conformed to this world."
5. What ought Christian children to be taught with regard to the wearing of jewellery?
Exactly the same as is taught with regard to the wearing of any other fashionable adornments. A young lady once called upon a good man to ask his advice as to her liberty to wear some sort of gold or silver trinkets. The good man simply contented himself by quoting the passage The daughter of Zion hath despised thee." Whether this answer sufficiently satisfied the inquirer we do not recollect, but we think it was a good and sufficient reply, and one that should satisfy all sensible and sincere people.
6. Why should Christian children be taught to avoid worldly conformity in dress?
(1.) On account of its being a badge of servitude to Satan.
(2.) Because fashionable and showy dress is utterly incompatible with the spirit of Christian humility.
(3.) Because it is in direct contradiction to the express commands of God:-
Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go: therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion.-Isa. iii. 16, 17.
Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. - Romans xii. 2.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel.-1 Peter iii. 3.
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.-1 Tim. ii. 9, 10.
(4.) Children should be taught to despise fashionable dress because of the frightful waste of money and time which is involved in the vain attempt to follow and keep pace with the changing fashions of the day.
(5.) Because of the evil influences of fashionable dress upon others. Fashionable dress means IMITATION. YOU copy somebody else, and somebody else copies you. This is the very essence of what is called fashion. It is not because a style is becoming, or healthy, or neat that it is adopted, but simply because somebody, or, rather, because everybody else has adopted it. Hundreds of women are living practical comments on the saying, " You might as well be out of the world as out of the fashion." Therefore, to dress fashionably is not only for your children to copy some one else, but to be copied themselves. Consequently, if you dress your children up after this worldly style their example is almost certain to lead others seriously astray.
(6.) Avoid fashionable dress because it gratifies and feeds the vanity of children, and fills their heads with all manner of unnatural and injurious notions.
(7.) It opens the door in the hearts of the children for all sorts of flattery. Weak-headed, silly people will come round them: "What a beautiful frock that is!" "What a lovely hat you have on!" "How kind mamma was to give you such a duck of a ribbon!" etc., etc., all of which is most disgusting to sensible people. But alas! alas! the nonsense will often be eagerly received into the little unsuspecting hearts of the children; it will be frequently stored up in the memory, producing most disastrous effects upon the character.
(8.) Fashionable dress will create in the children unnatural and godless expectations. "If I am so pretty"-for there is generally the confounding a pretty dress with a pretty person-"perhaps I shall become a great lady, and live in a fine house, and not have to work, and have a fine gentleman for a husband." And numbers of other equally silly and injurious imaginations follow in the train.
(9.) Fashionable dress may lead your children to godless friendships and alliances. It is very unfortunate that people should be so weak, but we know there is no usage more common than for men and women to take people to be what their clothes signify. Specially will this be true of inexperienced, simple-minded children. They think it is a fine bird because it has fine feathers. And hence there is admiration and introduction; then come friendships and associations that are injurious to morals and religion. Keep your children clear of anything likely to bring about such results.
(10.) Fashionable dress, by feeding pride, is unfavourable to the formation of that spirit of simplicity and humility which is a condition of Salvation. "Except ye be converted and become as LITTLE CHILDREN," the Master said, "ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven."
Dressing the children in the stuck-up, peacock fashion of the world is calculated to create just the reverse of that humble, meek, and lowly spirit in which only it is possible for men, women, or children to go into the Kingdom.
(11.) Fashionable dress puts a barrier in the way of the Salvation of the children, seeing that all these pomps and vanities and methods of display have to be renounced at conversion. Innumerable instances could be given of the difficulties that boys and girls, and men and women, have experienced in renouncing rings and chains, and feathers, flowers, and fashionable apparel, when these things stood in the way of a full Salvation. Why do parents create and foster affections and conceits which will rend the heart with anguish when they have to be destroyed?
(12.) Fashionable dressing of children leads to all manner of evil results. We once heard a philanthropist say that the chaplain of one of the largest London prisons informed him that the three principal causes that brought girls and women there were intoxicating drink, trashy novel-reading, and fashionable dress, and he thought the latter as fatal as either of the others.
There is no doubt this is correct, and that these things often lead up to seduction and other forms of terrible sin, which come down with such crushing effect on almost all classes alike.
CHAPTER XXV: EDUCATION.
1. Is the subject of education intimately connected with the right training of children?
Yes. Education has very much to do with the formation of a holy and useful character. It is to be feared that in their attempts to get what they call "a good education" for their children, numbers of parents undo all the good accomplished by home instruction and example.
Their purpose with regard to the children is all that could be desired. They pray and labour during the early years of childhood to make their darlings good and Christ-like. They shield them, so far as they have opportunity from the temptations of the world, and then, in the inordinate estimate they have formed of the importance and value of a superior education, they place them in circumstances where almost, if not quite, all they have done for the moral and spiritual benefit of the children in the years gone by is for ever undone.
2. What are parents to do? The children must be educated; surely you do not advocate that they should be allowed to grow up in ignorance?
Most certainly not. On the contrary, we think it of very great importance that the children should be educated, and only advise that you should go about the instruction of their minds in such a way as not to endanger the Salvation of their souls. In all educational effort, keep constantly before you the end you have in view, that is, to make your children Saints and Soldiers of Christ. This will help you continually. The supreme purpose of your soul will determine the course of action you pursue. The great end of most unconverted parents is for their children to get on in the world. They want them to be rich, or happy, or to secure a position in society; in short, to do well for themselves-and their parents also, if there is a chance. But your purpose is altogether different. You want your children to be good, and to grow up like Jesus Christ, to be saviours of men and champions for God. Now, if this be so, recollect and act upon it in your educational efforts.
Whether you have one or twenty children, measure all the subjects and methods of instruction that are proposed for them by this rule. With regard to every proposition, ask, "Will this learning help my children to love God more, and to serve their generation better? " If it seems likely to do so, to qualify them more effectually for saving souls, fighting the devil, mastering sin, and following Jesus Christ, secure it for them, if possible. If it be otherwise-as you value the souls of your children, and desire to have the approbation of Jehovah in the Great Judgment Day-do nothing of the kind, whatever this seeming sacrifice may involve either for you or them. In short, we think it will be wise to make it a rule, that, after teaching your children all that is necessary to enable them to carry on the duties of everyday life in family and business affairs, it will be safe for you to decide that they shall learn nothing that cannot really be pressed into the service of God, and used for the Salvation of souls.
We have made this a rule in the education of our own children, and have made them understand, when old enough, that they were being taught this or that branch of learning in order that they might thereby be qualified to take this or the other part in the Salvation War, and have found it act as an encouragement to them no less than to ourselves.
Some of our children-as is well known, we suppose-are now engaged in the thick of the fight, and we do not think we have the faintest reason to regret allowing ourselves to be guided by this principle.
3. But cannot something be said to guide Salvation parents more particularly as to the kind of education which it is lawful and desirable to seek for their children?
We can do nothing more in the space we have at command than give a few hints.
(1.) Parents should keep constantly before their minds the desirability and honour of having their children become Officers in The Salvation Army, and all their education, whether at home or elsewhere, should be shaped to this end. Under the Jewish dispensation it was the custom to offer for the acceptance and service of Jehovah the best of the herd and the first-fruits of the earth. So even now He ought to have the choicest of the family flock to be leaders of His Forces in this War.
(2.) The training should be in accordance with the purpose just named. However limited their means, these motives will make the parents strive to secure for their children at least the elements of an ordinary education. Reading, writing, and arithmetic axe of a hundred-fold greater importance now than in years gone by, and they are attainments which must be possessed by all good and efficient Soldiers, whether they become Officers or not.
Parents should therefore make every reasonable sacrifice to accomplish this for their children, and in the present day they will not find much difficulty in doing so.
(3.) With respect to the higher branches of education, the selection of subjects must be made according to the rule already laid down. If there be the aptitude and opportunity for learning languages, or for excelling in any other studies likely to be of practical service in the War, by all means let your children take advantage of them; but let all be done to qualify them for more efficiently taking their share in the work of extending the Kingdom of God.
In carrying out this recommendation those languages should be selected most likely to be useful in our foreign fields, and those parents who contemplate their children becoming Officers in The Salvation Army should seek advice from Headquarters. We may, however, safely say that no mistake can be made if French and German are studied.
(4.) When an aptitude for music is manifested in the children, the capacity should be improved and practised as there is opportunity.
1. Let them learn to play such instruments as appear most likely to be useful in the public services.
2. If the children have voices for singing, teach them to sing solos in private, and so get them ready to sing in the Barracks, by the bedside of the sick and dying, or in the open-air.
Every gift, musical or otherwise, should not only be used, but improved to the uttermost, for making known to a dying world the love of Christ and His power to save.
In all this, every care must be taken to keep from everything like performance or showing off. The greater the simplicity, the greater will be the power over the hearts and minds of the hearers.
(5.) No time should be wasted in acquiring what are called "accomplishments" unless they are capable of being turned to account in the great business of saving men.
(6.) It is good, usually, for children to be taught some useful trade or profession. While it should be the main purpose of the parents that their children should become Officers in The Salvation Army (especially when they give evidence of being strong and gifted), it will be very useful for them to learn some trade or business, in which case such a choice should be made as can be best turned to account in future Salvation work. We have a great hope that multitudes of children will grow up in The Salvation Army so possessed and inspired with the love of God and souls as to be willing to go into all the countries of the earth when circumstances render it necessary, working at their own trades, as Paul did, as a means of support, while directing their best energies and consecrating every hour of time possible to the Salvation of men.
(7.) The children should be carefully educated in the facts and doctrines of the Bible, but most of all, in its great moral and spiritual truths. We mean by this that it is far more important that your child should imbibe the spiritual and practical lesson contained in a fact or history than that he should remember the particulars of that fact or history.
(8.) Let the children be thoroughly instructed in the principles, history, aims, and methods of The Salvation Army. On both the preceding topics we hope, ere long, to prepare catechisms in the simplest and most interesting form.
4. Having said so much on the subject of education could you not give us some suggestions as to the best method of imparting it?
(1.) In teaching children it is of first importance that they should thoroughly master the rudiments or foundations of whatever knowledge it is proposed to teach them. Let the alphabet, tables, the fundamental rules of grammar, the main outlines of geography and history, and everything else of the kind, be apprehended and fastened on their memories for ever. Unless children master the first principles of learning before they are allowed to advance further, they will all the way through life have to waste time and strength in continually coming back to them.
We fear the majority of teachers are verily guilty in this matter, being more concerned to make a good show with their pupils in superficial and desultory attainments, than to lay a good foundation in the most essential points in a useful education.
If you want to carry your house well up, and wish it to stand firm, don't be in too great a hurry with the foundations. See that they are firm as a rock, and then hurry on.
Carry out this rule--or, as far as you can, see that others do it-in the education of your children. You will find it a very great advantage, and much time will be saved in the long run; for if they are a little longer about the business at first, they will far more than make up in speed in after days.
(2.) Be at all manner of trouble always to make them understand you. We believe that fully one-half of the labour spent on teaching children is thrown away for the simple reason that the children are supposed to understand things of which they are ignorant. Especially is this true of young children. One of the first duties of a teacher is, at every point of his lesson, to find out whether he is understood. It is ever so much easier for children to commit a lesson to memory when they understand it than when they do not. There are certain rules of grammar, it is true, and many other things that the children must commit to memory before they can fully comprehend their application or their meaning, but we very much question when it comes to studying history, geography, and most other subjects, whether an ordinary child can very easily retain anything in its memory of which it has not a correct understanding.
By way of illustration. One of our little orphans at The Training Home was in trouble about her history. She is only some six years old, and she had lost a mark because she did not know her lesson. A little comrade appealed to my daughter for her, and said he thought she did not understand the lesson. The defaulting child was sent for, and the question was asked, "What part of your lesson is it that you do not know?" It was an answer to the question, "Who succeeded him? " that is, "What king reigned after him? " My daughter asked her if this had been explained to her. She said, "No." Then she was asked if she understood what it meant, and she said, " Yes, it meant, 'Who sat on him?'" It was explained to her that this was a mistake, but that it signified, "Who sat after him?"
How much more forward are children for this sort of cramming? For, speaking correctly, it is not learning at all. They had better learn one question and answer only, and know what they signify, than commit a chapter to memory and be ignorant of its meaning.
(3.) Do not give too much instruction at a time. This is a serious mistake indeed. Too long lessons are hindrances rather than helps. The mind is a vessel which can only hold a given quantity, and with young children it is a very small quantity indeed. It will help you, in teaching, to stop and consider what that measure of containing power is likely to be, and adapt your instructions accordingly. Some teachers will go on pouring in, and pouring in, more and more, long after the powers of attention and memory in the child have been taxed to their utmost limits, and the overstrained mind grows bewildered, and collapses, and all is forgotten together.
A little at a time, and that little well understood, should be your rule. We have known very few teachers in our time-and very few schools-that have not seemed to defeat their purpose by having too many subjects and too lengthy lessons about them, entailing too many hours' study in succession. Cram! cram! cram! every day, and then a long vacation, in which nothing whatever is done except getting into mischief, and forgetting most of what was learned in the "cram! cram!" time before. How much better would it be to take some little, at least, of the vacation every day, and the balance at the end of the term!
5. Is it not important that simple illustrations should be freely used in teaching children?
Yes, it is a useful custom in teaching men and women, but doubly so in dealing with children.
CHAPTER XXVI: READING.
1. Ought not some care to be exercised with regard to the books which children read?
Yes; the greatest care possible, seeing that very frequently much effort spent in various ways to make children good and Christ-like is more than counteracted by the books read in their leisure hours. There never was an age in which so much pernicious matter was published, and all hurtful literature should be carefully kept out of the children's way.
2. What class of books do you recommend for the children?
(1.) Children should, when old enough, and sufficiently instructed to understand, be taught to read the Bible systematically.
(2.) Children should read, morning and evening and at noonday, the portion of Scripture marked for the day in the Salvation Soldier's Guide." Explanations and illustrations, so far as there is opportunity, should be given by parents on what is read.
(3.) While children are young the facts and teachings of the Bible, with explanations adapted to their age and intelligence, should be supplied them. Any number of books of this description can be obtained, such as "The Peep of Day," and others of that class.
(4.) After the Bible, we recommend for the children of Salvationists, the "Little Soldier," the "War Cry," and other publications of The Salvation Army, together with such other books as are calculated to edify and instruct them in all that concerns a godly life.
(5.) To these may be added books of history, biography, natural history, travels in foreign lands, and others of a good sound moral character.
3. Would you forbid little children to read the storybooks ordinarily got up for them, and generally thought necessary for their entertainment?
We should distinctly forbid "Jack the Giant-killer," "Goody Two-shoes," "Jack and the Bean-stalk," and all the fairy-tale nonsense put together, with, we are sorry to say, most of the so-called "moral and religious" stories which are usually thought proper reading for the children.
It is just as wicked and as stupid, if not more so, to instil silly rubbish into the minds of children, as into the minds of men. Why it should be thought right-nay, essential-in the one case more than in the other we never could comprehend. But, as we have said elsewhere, the intelligence of children is generally underestimated, and, consequently, any foolish trash is thought good enough for the little ones so that it makes them laugh and passes away the idle hours.
4. But is it not desirable that there should be books which meet the love of the wonderful and strange, which is so strong in children?
Yes; it may be. But the love of the marvellous can be met and satisfied just as easily by facts, and facts which are far stranger than fiction, of which the world is full; so that there is no need for doing this with a pack of stupid lies, which are sooner or later found out to be such by the children.
Begin with the facts of the Bible-its history and miracles -and go on to books which describe other facts and other realities, as wonderful as anything in romance or fairyland can possibly be. Take, for instance, the wonders of natural history-the different animals in various lands-their nature, shape, and modes of life. Take the wonders revealed to us by the microscope. Go to the ocean and describe its inhabitants. Take the telescope and tell the children of the innumerable starry worlds above them. Take the varied tribes of men, their history and habits, and the ways in which they conduct themselves in war or in peace. In short, without fiction, the past, present, and future are full of facts which will not only entertain the children, but instruct and profit them also.
5. Then you are opposed to novel-reading by children?
Most certainly we are. Indeed, we would go to the utmost possible extreme in the opposite direction. Ordinary novels or love-stories should be kept from children as you would keep rank poison from them. The action of the ordinary novel upon the minds of children is pernicious in the extreme, making them dissatisfied with their present position and condition in life, and filling them with unnatural ambitions and desires. Novels make the duties of the everyday life of children and everybody else insipid, create and develope an unnatural precocity, and altogether destroy that beautiful, simple, child-like spirit which we admire so much in children, and which we ought to make every reasonable sacrifice to preserve.
6. Ought parents to acquaint themselves with the character of the books their children read?
It has ever been the rule with us in the training of our children, that they should never read a book with the bearing and contents of which we were not ourselves familiar.
CHAPTER XXVII: STRONG DRINK.
1. Ought not children to be instructed in the evils attendant on the use of intoxicating liquors?
Yes. As soon as children can understand anything at all, they should be made to understand the evil consequences which follow the use of strong drinks, and the importance of abstaining from them altogether. No parent can tell how soon his children may be tempted on this subject, and to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Therefore the children should be instructed in this matter very early in life. Parents will not find any difficulty in explaining this evil in a simple fashion to their children, and they will readily and sincerely pledge their little hands and hearts before God not to use that which they see to be the wicked drink.
2. How can children be trained up most effectively in total abstinence?
(1.) Never allow them to touch or taste a drop of the accursed liquor. Multitudes have been ruined after the fashion of the drunkard, who, on his death-bed, attributed his destruction to the taste created for strong drink when, though only a child, he was allowed to drain the brandy-glasses that came from his grandfather's table. Should ever any of your children get into this terrible predicament, which God forbid, take care that they are never able to say that they had either the opportunity or the encouragement to acquire this terrible damning appetite at your table or in your home. To this end, never let a drop of intoxicating liquor be used as a beverage in your house for any reason whatever.
(2.) Never allow your children, so far as you have the power to prevent it, to see anyone for whom they have any esteem, touch or taste strong drink. Of course this will shut your children out of much company, and keep them away, perhaps, from visiting many friends and relations; but you cannot help that. If sacrifices are to be made, you had better make these than run the risk of the peace and virtue and Salvation of those so dear to you. Keep the children's eyes from beholding iniquity, or from being influenced in its favour by those for whom, for other reasons, they may have great respect, and who would be likely so much the more to influence them in the use of that which has proved the ruin of thousands.
(3.) Make the children understand that the thing is an evil in itself. Show them that it is manufactured by man-that God never made a drop of alcohol. To say that alcohol is a good creature of God is one of the devil's own lies fathered on foolish and ignorant people. It is a man-manufactured article. The earth nowhere produces a drop of it. The good creatures of God have to be tortured and perverted before any of it can be obtained. There is not a drop in all creation made by God or that owes its existence to purely natural causes.
I got, myself, a clear view of the controversy when but seven years of age. A schoolfellow was a teetotaler and wore a medal. I asked the meaning of it. He explained that ale and wine made people drunk, and that when they were drunk they did foolish and wicked things, for which they were very sorry when they became sober. Of the truth of this statement I saw plenty of illustrations all about me. In my young heart I felt that drink must be very bad to make people do such things; and when pressed by my schoolfellow, I promised that I would not touch, taste, nor handle it any more. We then went together to a certain shop where was a pledge-book. I wrote my name in it, purchased a medal, and although tempted continuously, and strongly urged to break that pledge by those whom I loved, I kept it until thirteen years of age, only breaking it then when urged for my health's sake to do so by one who had much influence over me. In conjunction with my beloved wife, I have acted in this way with my children, and from their babyhood they have been made to feel and to look upon all intoxicating liquor as the wicked drink, and for many years they knew it only by that name. Show the children the evils that attend upon its use, and their own tender and unsophisticated hearts will tell them their duty with regard to it. An ordinary child of six years of age, on being shown a drunken man or woman, or upon having some of the consequences following the use of strong drink set before him, will voluntarily and cheerfully refuse to take it.
(4.) Teach the children that health and strength and happiness are altogether independent of its use. Make this plain to them, so that neither the advice of doctors nor opinions of friends shall deceive them in the future, by leading them to think that intoxicating liquors are in any way necessary to their well-being.
(5.) Show the children that no one can take intoxicating drink without personal danger. Describe to them what beautiful and noble spirits have fallen through it, and they will detest it immediately. As facts illustrating this come under your notice in the daily papers, in your own neighbourhood, or in your own Corps, describe them to your children. By these means will their hatred for it be increased, and they will come to feel a moral pleasure in refusing it-a pleasure far greater than any gratification which the use of it could possibly bring them.
(6.) Show the children how hypocritical they will be, if, while professing to imitate Jesus Christ, they should refuse to give up the use of intoxicating drink, because of any little personal gratification they might derive therefrom. Jesus Christ sacrificed not only His own comfort, but His own life to save the world from sin and misery and Hell.
(7.) Make your children understand that it is not safe for them or anybody else to take strong drink in what is called moderation, and that even if it were, their example would be sure to induce others to take it, some of whom would be almost certain to go to excess. Explain to them that of the millions of drunkards who have found their way down to the bottom-less pit, not one of all the ghastly band ever intended to go on to drunkenness. They all began with "moderation," and purposed to stop there. Therefore, the only way of safety for your children as regards themselves and the answer of a good conscience with respect to others, is total abstinence from the evil.
(8.) Of course all that has been said sternly forbids your allowing your children to engage in any trade, profession, or calling, which, by the sale of intoxicating drinks, makes a profit out of the miseries, vices, and crimes of men.
CHAPTER XXVIII: TOBACCO.
1. Is it necessary to warn the children against the common habit of using tobacco?
We think that in view of the widespread prevalence of smoking, especially amongst boys, parents ought to make children understand the enormous evils of this practice. Of course, in Salvationists' families this may seem unnecessary, seeing that by precept and example the habit will be condemned and avoided by everybody about them. But even here it may be necessary to make children thoroughly conversant with the evil character of the usage. Among other things make your children understand that --
(1.) Eminent medical men say that smoking injures the brain and consequently the entire nervous system. It also affects the lungs, the stomach, and the digestive organs generally, and often injures the eyes very seriously. The earlier the age at which this practice is acquired the more injurious will be its effects.
(2.) The use of tobacco means a shameful waste of money which might be so much better employed.
(3.) Smoking is an unnatural habit. All who have ever practised it know how nature revolts at the commencement of the use of tobacco in any form, whether that of smoking, snuff-taking, or chewing; and has to be compelled at the expense of considerable suffering to allow it.
(4.) Smoking is an unclean practice. It corrupts the breath, poisons the atmosphere, and makes its votary a nuisance in a small way to everybody about him who is not likewise given up to the same selfish indulgence.
CHAPTER XXIX: INDUSTRY.
1. Ought all children to be alike trained in habits of industry?
Yes. No matter what the circumstances or condition of the child may be, or what station in life his parents may occupy, he should be taught that labour is the law of his existence-that work is a duty which he owes alike to God, to himself, and to his generation. This is very important; and great injury has been done to the children in particular and to the world in general, by the disregard of this principle. With many people who are what is called "well-to-do," it is quite a common thing for children to be made to feel that because their parents are wealthy, and because they are likely to have some independent means of support, it is not necessary for them to do any kind of hard work. In this way thousands go from school without any purpose in life, spend their days in idleness, and, as a natural consequence, become enervated and spiritless both in body and mind for want of the stimulus and exercise which employment brings to both. So they present the devil with perpetual opportunities for temptation.
2. Do not many children grow up with the opinion that hard work is in itself an evil, only to be tolerated, even in saving the souls of men, when it is necessary for the purpose of earning daily bread?
Yes. There is no doubt many entertain this opinion, and would never engage in any kind of labour, but that, without it, they would have to starve.
People of this class work at secular trades, callings, and professions, and engage in religious movements only to obtain a living. And if it were not for the living, it is fair to assume that many would not work at all, either in one form or another.
One of the great attractions of Heaven to such people consists in the idea that there will be nothing to do there. They expect their days will pass lying on a bed of roses, listening to music under a cloudless sky, with nothing disagreeable to disturb them.
3. Ought children to be taught to work hard?
Yes.
(1.) Teach them first that all the holy beings in God's universe set them an example in this direction. Show them that Jesus Christ, who is our Model Man, and the imitation of whose life is the highest expression of true religion, continually "went about doing good." A great many of His followers now-a-days,who cannot pretend to any such independent means as were at His command, if they care about doing good at all, think it quite sufficient to make other people do the "going about," at the most giving a small subscription towards supporting them in doing so. Teach your children that it is their duty not only to give the subscription, if they have the ability, but to do some of the "going about" as well. Further, show them that they will do this if they have the Spirit of Christ, and if they have not His Spirit they are none of His.
(2.) Make your children understand that work is a condition of happiness. Nothing will alter this. No people are more miserable than those who have nothing to do and who have to invent all manner of schemes and contrivances to kill time and get the days over. Such people's lives are a burden to them, and existence becomes uninteresting and wearisome, generally speaking, long before it comes to an end.
(3.) Teach the children that God demands that they shall make the interests of His Kingdom of first importance in all they undertake, irrespective of any circumstances or consequences.
4. But may it not be asked whether such an expenditure of anxiety and time will allow of that devotion to the interests of their earthly trade or profession, necessary to gain support for themselves and the families that may be dependent on them?
To this we answer, with all confidence, that there are the most positive assurances in the Bible that Divine protection will be shown and provision made for all those who make their earthly labours and aims secondary to the still higher objects of the glory of God and the Salvation of men. Explain to your children that Jesus Christ promised that those who seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness shall have all these things-the necessary food and raiment-added unto them. That is to say, if your children look after the Lord's business, the Lord will look after theirs.
Nevertheless, there is nothing in a life supremely devoted to the glory of God and the good of men, that is inconsistent with that necessary attention to the ordinary business of every-day life, which, with His blessing, will command a fair share of earthly prosperity. The experience of God's faithful people proves this in all ages of the world.
5. Do you teach that all children should forego secular labour and become entirely engaged in soul-saving work, and thus dependent upon the contributions of others for their support?
Oh, dear no! The parents and guardians of children must be guided by circumstances, by the leading of the Spirit of God, and by their own judgment, as to what department or kind of labour the children should be set apart for. But in every case the children should be taught that, whether they build houses, cultivate land, or are wholly employed as Soldiers of Salvation, all their labour, all their scheming and plans should have for their ultimate end the subjugation of the world to Christ, and the bringing-in of the complete rule and reign of the Great King.
Teach them that every act of their lives may be made religious, so that whatever work they may have to perform-however menial it may appear to unbelieving eyes-if it be done, not with eye-service to please men merely or for any earthly remuneration, it shall be Divine, and so command notice and approbation and reward at the hands of God.
6. Can anything be done with children In early life calculated to assist the formation of good business habits In the future?
Most certainly there can. The foundation of such habits can be laid in children when very young indeed. For instance,
(1.) Commence in early childhood the imposition of such tasks and duties as are suited to their intelligence and capacity. Forward and intelligent children should begin what they will understand to be work, at, say, three years of age; backward and less intelligent children a little later. These tasks should be carefully performed at regular hours, and for them they should be rewarded, if done carefully and well, or reproved if the work is done otherwise. By so dealing with your children, habits of discipline will be formed in early life which will make it as easy for them to be industrious afterwards as it is with others to be lazy.
(2.) Let your children begin, as soon as they are able, to dress, and wash, and wait upon themselves. The habits of many children are ruined utterly by having a mother or servant always at their beck and call, waiting upon them hand and foot. It is laughable to see some little things ordering their parents to pick up their toys and wait upon them in matters where they are quite able to do for themselves. I am not sure whether it is not a safe rule to say, "Never do for a child that which it is capable of doing, or of being taught to do, for itself."
(3.) The children should be taught to perform such work as they have placed in their hands, with all their might. If they play, let them play; but when they profess to work, let them do that work to the utmost extent of their ability. Take trouble to make them pay attention and keep their minds fixed upon their lessons or tasks, or whatever they may have given them to do, while they are at it. Far better that the time devoted to work should be shortened and all the energies of the children be taxed during that period, than extended with only a desultory and partial attention.
(4.) Cultivate in children the habit of doing things well. Make them understand that whatever is worth doing at all should be done to the best of their ability. Create within them an honest pride in turning things out as near perfection as is possible, and thus you will very early have a hatred of "scamped " and patched-up work, which will be extremely useful to them in the future.
(5.) Teach them to think little of trouble when any important work is to be done, or any valuable end to be gained. Few things are more deplorable and contemptible than the lazy, helpless, shiftless spirit so common. Many people are willing to run the risk of losing any amount of goodness and happiness, both for this world and the next, for themselves and for others, rather than put forth some little self-sacrificing exertion. If this spirit should be in any of your children, get it out of them. Make them willing to go through any reasonable amount of toil and inconvenience in order to do a good turn for their brothers and sisters, or comrades, or any one else about them.
(6.) As soon as able to understand it, make them love punctuality. Create in them a horror of being late for meals, or late for school, or late for meetings, or any other engagement. Show them that the difference in being five minutes late and five minutes early is only a matter of habit, and that one usage is just as easy as the other, while the latter habit will have a great deal to do, not only with their own comfort, but with the comfort of other people.
(7.) Make your children systematic; that is, make them regular and orderly in all they do from the time when they begin to do anything at all. You can begin by teaching them to put away their toys when done with, instead of leaving them on the floor to be trampled on; folding up their clothes, keeping their school-books in order, and in many other ways. Some children are systematic by nature, and will give you very little trouble on this score; with others it will be quite different. Still, you can do a very great deal in the direction of making such habits of order and neatness as will be of untold comfort and profit to them through life.
(8.) Teach your children habits of economy. No matter whether they have much or little, make them understand the value of money. If they have little they will find valuable use for all they can get, and if they have much they cannot afford to waste it, considering the crying need of the world for the bread that perisheth and for that which endureth unto everlasting life. Don't make them misers, teaching them to save in order that they may store. On the contrary, cultivate all the generous impulses of their nature, but at the same time make them abhor the wasteful and extravagant habits which may prove so injurious to them in the future.
(9.) Make your children Soldiers of Christ in reality as soon as they manifest the possession of His Spirit, and understand His warfare. Not only enlist them in the ranks, and bring them into the enjoyment of the bounty, but teach them how actually to engage in the fight. Keep them at it, and so accustom them early to endure as good Soldiers. Then, when, like the Apostle, they reach the end of life, they shall, on its review, be able to say with him, literally and truthfully,
I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.-2 Tim. iv. 6.
And if you do your duty properly they will be able to add to it, "My parents taught me how to fight, and introduced me to the War."
7. Ought not children to be taught to carry out the highest principles of truth and honour in whatever business relations they may fulfil?
Certainly. Teach them that all deception and cheating, and every approach to these things, are mean and dishonourable and devilish; and that they become all the more so if they are practised with a view to any so-called profit of money or reputation. Send your children into life to carry out to the uttermost the principles of truth and righteousness, cost them what it may.
And not only make them think, but make them feel that it will be more worthy of them, more for their happiness, more gratifying to you, and far more pleasing to God, for them to walk through the world in poverty with truth and honour, than to ride through it in a gilded chariot with chicanery, cheating, and deception sitting by their side. This disgust for what is untrue will help them when they come to trade and commerce, or whatever calling or profession in life they may adopt. They will be as likely to be faithful to the claims of truth and duty in making a house-door, or building a wall, or selling tea, bacon, or woollen cloth, as they would be on their knees in prayer before God, giving a religious address from a platform, or performing any other of what men term religious duties.
CHAPTER XXX: HEALTH.
1. Are parents responsible for the health of their children?
Yes, they are, and consequently either the parents, or whoever are placed in charge of the children, must use all necessary means to develope and strengthen them physically. They must do this--
(1.) In order that the children may have a long and vigorous life in the service of the King. It should be borne in mind by parents that health of body, quite as much as health of soul, depends on early training and management. Children that are nourished with good, wholesome food, kept clean, regularly exercised, and well supplied with plenty of fresh air, will be likely to grow up strong and hearty, and thereby made capable of doing a large amount of fighting for God.
(2.) Because there is a close connexion between a strong body and a sound mind. There is a mysterious connexion between the jewel and the case-the mind and the body. To take care of one is to take care of the other.
(3.) Because a healthy body is so helpful to a trusting, confident, and joyous religious experience. A healthy body is favourable to a sanguine, hopeful spirit, and a sanguine, hopeful spirit will ever be found helpful to faith and trust, and faith and trust in God bring that joy into the heart which is unspeakable and full of glory. If, therefore, you prefer that your children should grow up to have a joyous realisation of the things of the Kingdom of God, do all you can to develope and strengthen them physically.
(4.) Because the bodily health of children has so much to do with the comfort and happiness of everyone about them. Health in children, as in adults, is generally accompanied by a plentiful flow of bright, cheerful, animal spirits, and these have much to do, not only with the happiness of those who possess them, but with that of all associated with them at the time, and ever afterwards.
It needs but little close observation of men to see that those people who have a good flow of animal spirits are far better circumstanced for a cheerful joyous life than those who are not so favoured, although the latter may be possessors of wealth, pleasure, and all else the world can give. Take care of the health of your children for your own sakes. How much vigorous healthy children have to do with the comfort and happiness of parents in particular, and of the family in general, any mother or father can tell.
(5.) Because health will have to do with the physical comfort or misery of the children themselves all the way through life. When measures that seem necessary to promote the health and strength of children call for self-denial and self-sacrifice on the part of the parents or of the child himself, let the parents call up before their minds the picture of a strong, vigorous manhood or womanhood for their darlings. Then let them compare it with a delicate, ailing one. From the contrast, encouragement will be drawn to persevere in those efforts and measures that seem likely to secure the one and avoid the other. Of course parents cannot change a child's constitution, but they can often do what will go a long way in this direction. Many children come into the world with delicate bodies, very liable to sickness. Still, with ordinary care and attention to such rules of health as are hereafter suggested, such constitutions may be very much improved. Indeed, by care, many children who in the ordinary course of things would go to an early grave, will not only live out all their days, but enjoy even superior health to that of many children who are born vigorous and are afterwards weakened by self-indulgences and neglect.
(6.) A careful early physical training has often very much to do, not only with securing health, but prolonging life itself. The statistics of health show that millions of children die annually who might have lived, and would have done so, had they received watchful care and nursing in their childhood. If you wish your children to live and take a part in this great War, and help in the conquest of the world for Christ, take care of their bodies while they are young.
(7.) In thus caring for the health of their children, parents will be teaching them lessons which they will go on practising all their lives. In this way, the children will be able, not only to preserve their own health and vigour, but, when grown to maturity, they will know how to care for those about them, and for their own families in turn. You will thus make your children benefactors of their fellows wherever they go.
2. Ought not parents to qualify themselves to develope and improve the health of their children?
Most certainly they ought.
(1.) Young mothers especially should seek information and instruction on this important subject from those who have had more experience than themselves.
(2.) Parents should take the burden of the children's health and well-being on their own hearts, and not leave it to servants, or nurses, or neighbours, or even doctors. If parents will only study the simplest laws that govern health,-if they will only use their eyes and ears as they go about the world,-if they will study the principal tendencies and weaknesses of their children, they will save themselves and others endless trouble. Their children will be spared much suffering, and what will be a consideration, doubtless, to some of our readers, any amount of doctors' fees will be saved.
Parents should be determined to keep their children alive and vigorous, or know the reason why. Always remember the value of "a stitch in time," and that golden maxim-which, if not written up in every household, ought to be studied and acted upon with regard to all sorts of bodily, mental, and spiritual disease-that "prevention is better than cure."
3. Will you please name a few of the conditions on which the maintenance of health very much depends?
Yes, we will name a few, with pleasure, in the next and following chapters. But they are so simple that they will be likely to suggest themselves, we think, to any thoughtful person bent on preserving the health of children. We have acted upon them in our own family, and found them useful.
CHAPTER XXXI: FOOD.
1. Has the character of food anything to do with the health and vigour of children?
Most certainly. A proper supply of suitable food lies at the foundation, not only of health and vigour, but of life itself.
2. What is meant by a proper supply of food?
The food should be suitable in kind, sufficient in quantity, and taken with regularity.
3. What is meant by the food being suitable in kind?
It must be that which seems most natural to the age, condition, and health of the child at the time. For instance, nothing can possibly be so suitable for an infant as the mother's own milk. Nature herself enjoins this, and, unless the health of the mother or circumstances unavoidable in themselves, prevent the mother nursing the child, no excuse will be satisfactory for withholding the food which God has ordained and prepared for it. If, however, this is impossible, then let the mother prepare for it the best substitute.
Animal food should always be withheld until the teeth are sufficiently grown to properly masticate it. And even then there need be no hurry. Our first four children were five years of age before they partook of it as a regular article of diet. Up to that time they lived chiefly on bread-and-butter, milk puddings, and rice-any quantity of the latter, and an excellent article of food it proved to be. Up to that age they had excellent health and comparative immunity from disease. Since then, at different periods of their lives, we have again proved the great value of an exclusively vegetable and milk diet. When most seriously threatened with heart disease, my eldest son, of his own accord, for over three years abstained from animal food, and we considered at the time, and think still, that this abstention not only preserved his life, but enabled him to outgrow the tendency to the terrible malady with which he was threatened.
All the way through, it will be found useful occasionally to give the children a change from an animal to a vegetable diet, but as a rule, milk puddings, eggs, rice, and other farinaceous articles of food, with plenty of good, fresh vegetables, will be found the most nourishing and health-promoting for children. We may add, also, the cheapest.
Accustom your children from infancy to take such kinds of food as you consider will be best for them. If you allow them to pick and choose according to their fancy at the time, their likes and dislikes will grow and multiply until you will have a trouble to get them fed at all.
4. What is the second thing to be attended to in the right feeding of children?
Let the children always have a suitable quantity of food, that is, where and when it is to be had. Growing children require a good deal of support. No fact is more clearly recognized amongst working people than this. Still, there is a danger of its being overlooked, and from motives of economy, or niggardliness, or silly gentility, children are sometimes-perhaps oftener than we imagine-kept short of sufficient food to meet the requirements of their growth. Don't fall into this mistake. Better pay a big baker's bill than a doctor's. Let their food be as plain as you like, so that it is wholesome, and then let them have sufficient, and praise God for their good appetites and for giving you the means to supply them. Then, if you don't find pleasure in your own food, you can at least have a feast in seeing how the children enjoy theirs.
We say the food should be plain; but there is an exception to all rules, and when the children are delicate and ailing you should let them have little extras to tempt them to eat sufficient to maintain their strength.
But while we insist that children should have sufficient food, we also caution parents against what may be called cramming. Don't let them " stuff " and gormandise and make a god of their bellies. To do this will make them into little sensualists, and help to dull, if not destroy, the relish they would otherwise have for mental and spiritual pleasures. As has already been remarked, the mind and body are very closely connected, and you cannot pamper and over feed the one without injuring the other. Still, as has also been said, a plain diet will reduce this danger. If you keep off the dainties and luxuries the children will not be in much danger of going to this extreme. Anyway, watch over the children in this respect, and strive that the prayer of Agur shall be answered in them-" Feed me with food convenient for me, lest I be full and deny Thee, and say, Who is the Lord? " Parents have an illustration appropriate to this subject in the case of Daniel. His simple vegetarian diet and teetotalism, we know, led to perfect health and beauty.
5. What is the third rule of importance with regard to the food of children?
(1.) Let it be given at regular times. Three good substantial meals per day are not only sufficient, but the best, for all children in health. Nothing, perhaps, is more injurious than for the children to be always "bitting " between meals. We believe it quite possible to act upon this system of having set times for being fed for even the baby at the breast, and we are quite sure, excepting where children are very delicate, or recovering from sickness and so needing extra support, it can be acted upon with the regularity of clockwork. And not only will a vigorous appetite be maintained, but the children will come only to care about their food at the times appointed for taking it
(2.) Teach and encourage your children in the practice of food manners in eating. It has been said that manners form a kind of self-government which operates to keep the body under and hold the sensualising tendency of the food in check. Teach the children at their meals to respect the wants of superiors and strangers and all else at the table, before their own; to eat slowly, without noise, commotion, or greediness; to refuse those kinds of food, if any there be offered to them, which, however pleasant, they know are not good for them, or which they have heard their parents say they ought not to take. By such behaviour, the very feeding of their bodies will all the time be assisting the children in gaining the more perfect mastery over them, and preparing them for that complete keeping of them under, which is a condition and a result of that perfect liberty in the Lord which you calculate upon them enjoying, and into the experience of which you want to bring them.
It is not necessary to say to Salvation Soldiers, or to any who will have gone thus far with us in this volume, that there should always be a blessing asked and thanks given with every meal. With every good gift of our dear Lord, whether of food or raiment, or anything else, there should be at least an acknowledgment. Parents should teach the children this by their example. Do it solemnly; not at too great length, lest it be wearisome, and not gabbled through or gasped out as a mere meaningless ceremony, without feeling and without faith-" a blessing " only in name.
Our custom of praying every day after meals will be of great help to our Soldiers' families.
CHAPTER XXXII: SOME OTHER CONDITIONS OF HEALTH.
1. Will you name another important condition or health?
Another leading condition of health, second only in importance to wholesome food, is CLEANLINESS.
The importance of the children being kept clean is more clearly seen and appreciated in our time amongst working people than formerly, but with multitudes of people there is still room for improvement. A child should be washed all over every day when possible. Where there is sufficient vigour of constitution, we recommend a cold bath every morning, the year round.
Children should be taught to take a sponge bath where the plunge is not convenient. This is very simple, and may be taken where bathing is only practicable under difficulties. (See "Hint's on the Water Treatment," further on.)
2. What is the next condition of health which is of importance?
Every effort should be made to provide the children with suitable clothing. From what has been said on dress in a former chapter, it will be understood that we do not mean what is expensive. Plain healthy dress can be had in this country at a very moderate price; and if clothes be used and mended with some care, they will, as a rule, last a very long time. The very poorest can, with the practice of a little economy, dress themselves very neatly and meet every requirement of health.
(1.) In the first place the clothing should be clean. Where the children have employments that soil and dirty their clothes, they should, if possible, change before they go to meetings or sit down to meals, or mix with their families or other people. It is of importance to health that the under garments, and specially those worn next to the skin, should be changed at reasonable periods. If it can be avoided, it is not wise to sleep in the same vest at night that has been worn through the day. We do not say that the keeping of these rules is absolutely necessary to health. Many of our poor people may find it difficult to comply with them, we suppose, but where such changes can be made, they are to be recommended.
(2.) To be healthy, clothing should be such as can be worn with comfort. Never mind the fashion. As a rule, what is comfortable will be found to be healthy, and if not comfortable, reject it, and despise the fashion that would impose it upon you. Of course the uniform saves Salvationists from all trouble on questions of this sort.
(3.) Clothing should be sufficiently warm in cold weather. Some mothers practise actual cruelty in sending their children out in the cold winds and biting frosts only half-clad, just because it may be the custom of other people to do so, or because such clothing as they have may not meet their fancy, or fit their pride. In this way, colds are contracted, and foundations laid for future consumptions and rheumatisms, and nobody knows how much other misery. Where mothers have not the means to procure sufficiently warm garments, this is excusable; but where, from ignorance or want of thought, or what is worse still, from want of feeling, such treatment is dealt out to the children it is absolutely cruel. In this changeable damp climate warmth is only next in importance to food.
Special care should be taken of the chest. With delicate children the arms and legs should be kept covered, and special care should be taken to keep the chest and feet warm. It is astonishing how many mothers, so attentive and watchful in other respects, do not see the importance of this.
Babies will scream in the cot, and children will lie sleepless in bed, while mothers will wonder what the reason is, and feed and dose them in vain. Cold feet will often be the last thing to occur to them, and yet how often here will be the simple explanation of the difficulty!
3. What other condition of health is worthy of being considered here?
A sufficient amount of EXERCISE. Let the children do so much physical bodily movement every day. Let them run, walk, leap, jump, skip, or swing, as there is opportunity. Let them have gymnastics if you can. Girls, as well as boys, should move their limbs, work their muscles, and circulate their blood; by doing all of these things, they will improve their appetites, and altogether help their health.
This should be done every day, out of doors if possible. Don't be afraid of the clouds, or the threatened rain, or the dirt under feet, or the damp, or the atmosphere. Get them out, on to the hills, into the fields, or parks, or somewhere where the winds can blow on them, where they can breathe some fresh air, and take in vigour for the future.
When they cannot get out, give them, if you can, a room to romp in indoors at the top of the house, out of hearing, or in the basement. In small houses, where parents have no such rooms, it is a good plan for the mother to make herself a bit of fire in a bed-room, and retire there for an hour or two with her sewing or other occupation, leaving the children the kitchen to have a game in, having taken means to protect them from the fire and any instrument of danger.
4. What is the next condition of health?
Keep your ROOMS AS WELL VENTILATED as possible. Rooms from which every breath of fresh air is excluded mean weakness, nervousness, sickness, fever, and shortened lives. If cold water is used in the morning the danger of taking cold will be very small, and the terrible fear of a draught will vanish. Anyhow, windows should be frequently opened, if they have to be shut again. Always remember in sickness the importance of ventilation.
5. What other condition of health have you to name?
HAPPINESS. Happiness is certainly necessary to a state of bodily well-being. We cannot very well see how a child can be well if it is unhappy, and we have no doubt that many adult people mope and fret themselves into fevers and distempers and early graves. If this be true of men and women, how much more is it true of children, who cannot fortify their minds and encourage themselves with thoughts of a brighter future, as men and women can?
The little things do not have any calculation about weeping enduring for a night and joy coming in the morning. They are taken up with the present moment. They cry themselves to sleep without any reckoning about their recovering the loss they have suffered, or getting used to the new condition of things. We have often been pained at the want of feeling in persons in charge of young children, and sometimes of mothers themselves with respect to their little trials and griefs. Such persons seem to forget that the pungency of sorrow is not according to the magnitude of its cause, but according to the weakness and sensitiveness of the person who has to bear it. If a little child feels as if her heart was breaking, it does not much signify-so far as her present anguish goes-whether it be on account of the loss of her mother or of her doll, and so proportionately all the way through childhood. Parents should seize opportunities of trial and sorrow for endearing themselves to their children, and exhibiting to them the spirit of Jesus, by pouring out their sympathy according to the occasion, and by making every effort to heal the wound.
On the other hand, we do not recommend a weak and foolish condolence under every little disappointment and grief which children bring on themselves by their petulance and self -will. Spoilt children live in a feverish, disagreeable, dissatisfied condition because they cannot have all they want or always do as they like, which, no doubt, is a frequent cause of at least some of the disorders and sicknesses that come upon them. If you want to make and keep your children well, make, and, as far as in you lies, keep them happy.
CHAPTER XXXIII: RESTORATION OF HEALTH.
Can you give any instructions as to how parents may restore the health of their children when lost?
We can only give some hints, and these will be very bare ones. Nevertheless, they are such as we have acted upon in our own family, the wisdom of which has been confirmed by a good many years' observation of the causes and cures of sickness in the families of others'. We advise--
(1.) As a rule, keep from physic. The proverb says:
"Every man"-and, we suppose every woman-"is a fool or a physician at forty." A woman should be a good piece of a doctor as soon as she is a mother, and even before that. If the mothers would only take some little trouble to inform themselves, as we have before recommended, they would be able to deal with the ailments and weaknesses of children far better than ordinary doctors, for it is proverbial how little doctors understand the needs of children. Children will be very bad indeed before they need physic. In the worn-out, torpid systems of men and women, poisoned with long courses of neglect, excesses, and disease, the strong potions of the formidable doctor may be of some service, but even there, generally, the less -the better. But with regard to little children, we should say, if the parent does not know how to help and restore health, call in some experienced old nurse, who has had many opportunities of helping little ones through their infantile and childhood troubles.
(2.) It will be found very useful, in some forms of sickness, to keep the children from food. In cases of colds, for instance, which, I suppose, lay the foundation and are the cause of half the deaths that take place among children, the absence of food - save and except a little warm gruel, or the like - will be very useful. It has been said that "you must stuff a cold, and starve a fever." This is altogether wrong. It should be quoted: "If you stuff a cold, you will have to starve for a fever." That is to say, if you load the stomach when it is inflamed by cold, the probability is that you will add to its inflamed condition and the inflamed condition of the blood, and so bring on a fever. The best remedy we know for cold is to keep in a warm room, and take plenty of thin, warm drink, or get some active hydropathic treatment, such as a wet pack, a lamp bath, or a Turkish bath, and, thus assisted, nature will throw off the evil as soon as possible. (See "Hints on the Water Treatment," further on.)
In cases of fever, and in nearly every case of indigestion, fasting is a very efficient remedy. In all cases of sickness, the appetite, as a rule, is a safe guide on the question of food. When the stomach is in a condition to deal with food there will usually be a desire for it; when food is not desired, it is an indication that the stomach is not in a condition to deal properly with it. In all such cases, we should say, give the stomach rest. When the organs are out of order, it is wisest to give them less work to perform. When the nervous system is overworked by lessons, or by any sorrow or fright, rest is the only remedy. Let the children have extra sleep and extra play.
(3.) When children are out of health, change of air and scene will often work like magic on them.
(4.) Always take things in time. While we would be far from recommending you to imagine that every ache and pain of your child is to terminate in some serious going malady, at the same time there are certain symptoms which any thoughtful father and mother can understand as signifying something serious. If you do not know what is the matter, and cannot get to know with any certainty, call in a doctor and get him to tell you. You can then set to work to use, in co-operation with him, the simple remedies taught by your own common sense and experience, and superior knowledge of the ways, and habits, and disposition of your child.
Children will often inherit the diseases and weaknesses of their parents. For instance, a child will have something the matter with the lungs, or a nasty cough, or diarrhoea, or dysentery, and its mother will remember some attack of the kind in her own case or in that of her husband. Let her try and remember or get to know what was beneficial in her own case, and if it seems worth while, apply the experience to the treatment of her child.
In serious matters you must always have a medical man, and abide carefully by his directions; but in all such cases good nursing, watchfulness, quietness-seeing that the child sleeps and is kept quiet so far as is possible-will greatly help the medical treatment.
Lastly, HAVE FAITH IN GOD. Never allow yourself to suppose for a moment that He cannot act independently of human measures. Use means for the recovery of the body from sickness in the same way that you use means for the restoration of the soul from the presence of sin. Employ every method, trusting all the time in the Living God for healing and life and victory.
CHAPTER XXXIV: HINTS ON THE WATER TREATMENT.
BY MRS. BOOTH.
OF course this is not intended as a treatise on Hydropathy, but only a few simple directions for mothers in treating their children in those diseases of childhood which, if badly treated, often leave consequences of a serious nature.
Some considerable experience and observation with respect to the ailments of children have quite satisfied us that there is no system of treatment so effectual in curing those diseases and in preventing such consequences.
The neglect of the skin, in dealing with diseases, is a strange evidence of want of thought and common sense in the great majority of people. When we remember that there are in the skin of every human body seven millions of pores, the main purpose of which is to drain away from the body that which nature cannot use in sustaining or building it up, we need not be surprised that when, for months together, these pores are to a great extent blocked up, the blood becomes charged with impurity, and that the whole system is consequently deranged.
When the people generally, learn the value of God's precious, beautiful gift of water, both internally and externally, there will be far less suffering, and much greater happiness and length of life.
We have frequently been astonished at the prejudice which persons have manifested against any kind of application of water to the whole body, but as the knowledge and experience of the beneficial results following the free use of water increases, this prejudice will, we trust, pass away, and such persons will not only prolong their own lives, but save the lives of many of their children, to become workers in The Salvation Army.
COLD BATH.
Perhaps one of the most valuable applications of water, is the simple cold bath every morning, for children or adults, who are strong enough to bear it. This is cleanly, invigorating, and a sure preventative against taking cold.
In the case of people who have not the convenience of a bath, it can be easily managed by having a large tub in which the person can sit down, and a large sponge or piece of flannel with which he can sluice the water over him. A thick, common brown sheet is the best thing to dry with. It can be wrapped round the body so as to prevent taking a chill from the coldness of the atmosphere.
WET SHEET PACK. (For fevers in general.)
When the child becomes feverish, fretful, and restless, or manifests other symptoms of approaching sickness, a Wet Pack, properly given, can do no harm, and in almost every case will do incalculable good.
The best way to apply this, is as follows:--
Spread three or four blankets on a bed, so that the child can be laid down the centre, and the ends folded over him. Then for a young child, tack two towels together; and for an older one, a small sheet that will reach from the neck to the ankles, Wring this tightly out of cold water, or if the child is very delicate, out of tepid or warm water, and spread the towel or sheet on the top of the blankets.
Then undress the child as quickly as possible, and lay it on its back on the towel or sheet, lifting the arms, so that one end of the sheet can be wrapped round the body under the arms. Then lay the arms down, and bring the other end of the sheet over the arms. Then, as quickly as possible, wrap first one side and then the other of the first blanket, tucking them in tightly round the shoulders and along each side, and so on, till all the blankets are wrapped in.
In cases of much fever, a cloth wrung out of mustard and water-(about a dessert-spoonful of mustard to a quart of warm water)-should be put to the soles of the feet (which should be wrapped in a separate piece of flannel). Then draw the edges of the blankets well over the feet, putting a hot bottle or brick outside the second blanket, or near enough to warm the feet without burning them.
Then put on the outside a down quilt, or a couple of pillows, or a double blanket, or warm rug, over all, to keep the warmth in.
In cases of threatening of fever the throat should be packed separately, before putting the child in the other pack, by a strip of calico or linen, doubled into four, wrung out of cold water, wrapped round the throat, with a piece of flannel put over it. When in the pack, cloths wrung out of cold water should be applied to the head, and sips of cold water may be given to drink, or, in case of faintness, a little warm milk.
The child may be kept in the pack from three quarters of an hour to an hour - and a quarter, according to the severity of the symptoms.
When the time has come to take the child out, have ready by the side of the bed a hip bath, or tub, containing a pail of warm water, in which a couple of towels tacked together, or a small sheet, should be immersed. Then unwrap the child as quickly as possible, and let it sit down in the bath; lift the towel up out of the water and put it round the child's neck like a cloak, and rub it quickly over with the hand outside the towel. Then have a dry sheet or towels ready, and slip the wet towel off and the dry one on. Dry the child well, put on its night-dress, and put it into bed for a time.
In cases of great weakness, make the length of time in the pack half an hour, and rub over on the bed with a wet towel wrung out of tepid water, instead of the bath.
In cases of
SCARLET FEVER
this may be repeated twice a day (in the forenoon and about five o'clock in the evening), until the eruption is well out; after which, sponging over with warm water daily, and a Pack every other day, will suffice to complete the cure.
In measles and other eruptive fevers the Pack once a day will generally be sufficient.
We have found this treatment most effectual with our own children, having nursed seven of them at one time through scarlet fever and measles with no other treatment, save a little Homoeopathic medicine, and in no case was any evil consequence of the disease left behind.
SMALL-POX.
The much-dreaded malady of small-pox is by this same treatment reduced to an ordinary and easily curable disease. The Pack twice a day from the beginning will of itself cure the most malignant cases; and such has been our experience and observation with respect to the water treatment in this disease, that we should have no fear of being able to save nine out of every ten people who die of it.
If any of our people whose children or friends are attacked with this disease, will carry out these instructions, and give the patient plenty of Cream of Tartar, putting about two teaspoonsful to a pint of water, with sugar to taste, to drink, they will prove by experience the truth of our opinions.
RHEUMATIC OR GASTRIC FEVER.
Give the same kind of Pack, only add a little mustard-about one ounce to half a pail of the water that the sheet or towels is wrung out of. Our experience is against all beef tea or other animal soups or broths in these diseases-milk and farinaceous foods are best.
For IRRITATION IN TEETHING, and other slight feverish symptoms in infants,
A BODY PACK
is often very helpful and comforting.
This is a pack exactly like the other, but only of the size to apply to the trunk of the body, and does not include the arms and legs, and of course the child must be wrapped in with small blankets or flannels instead of large ones. For
SORE THROATS
and all kinds of throat affections, the Wet Compress is invaluable.
This consists of three or four folds of wet cloth, wrapped round the throat and covered with three or four thicknesses of flannel, so as to prevent the air getting in at the edges. The cloth should be re-wet as soon as dry, and kept on until the inflammation is gone.
On removing the Compress the throat should be well sponged with cold water to prevent the patient taking cold.
In severe cases, a gargle composed of a teaspoonful of Condy's Fluid to a pint of water will be very advantageous. For
INFLAMED EYES
from cold or feverishness, put on a wet pad composed of four thicknesses of linen wrung out of cold water and bound round with a napkin when the child goes to bed. This may be re-wet during the night if necessary, and when taken off in the morning, the eyes should be well bathed with cold water. All cases of
DIFFICULTIES OF THE BLADDER OR URINE,
in little children, will be greatly relieved and often cured by simple warm sitz baths. This may be managed by a small round tub, such as half a butter tub (which can be bought at any provision store for about ninepence), put on a small stool or hassock, half-filled with comfortably warm water. Let the child sit in the water from five to ten minutes, putting round its legs a shawl or small rug to keep the air from it. This may be repeated as often as the child complains of uneasiness, only taking the precaution to sponge it over with cold water when taken out, to prevent taking cold, together with a good drink twice a day of linseed tea.
We have known this give relief and cure little children whom doctors have said must undergo operations.
In all these cases great care should be taken with the DIET. The child should not be allowed to take any salt food or other highly seasoned food; in fact, the more it is confined to bread, milk, and vegetables, the better it will be.
For cases of simple DIARRHOEA over teething, or other temporary causes, a Body Bandage will often be found beneficial, made just the same as a throat bandage, only large enough to cover the abdomen, and bound on with flannel.
In bad cases, this may be wrung out of slightly warm water, two or three times a day, and the child kept as quiet as possible, and fed on milk, hasty pudding made of flour and milk, and similar things.
For confined bowels, the same kind of a bandage put on every night, and taken off in the morning, will often prove of great service in the case of children.
Sponge over with cold water when the Compress is taken off in the morning. In
RHEUMATIC FEVER
Chronic Rheumatism, Common Cold, and Influenza, the
LAMP BATH
is an invaluable remedy.
A proper lamp for this purpose can be got for 2s. 6d., but where that cannot be had, the bath can be given in the following way:--
Take a small earthenware jar, such as a marmalade or jam pot; put into it about three-pennyworth of methylated spirits of wine, which can be bought at the oil shops at 10d. a quart. Put about half a teacupful of cold water into a plate or large saucer, then set the jar with the methylated spirits in it, in this plate or saucer, and put the plate with the jar in it on the floor, under a Windsor or some wooden-bottomed chair, putting four or five doubles of old blanket or thick flannel on the seat, to prevent too great heat coming through.
Then undress the patient and let him sit down in the chair. His feet should be put in a tin or basin of hot water.
Have two or three blankets, or a blanket and a quilt, ready. Put the blanket round the patient's neck and over the back of the chair, reaching from the neck to the ground, and coming all round the chair and foot pan. Pin this blanket round the neck in the front.
Then over that one put another round in front of the patient, pinning it at the back, to keep the hot air from escaping. Pull the bottoms of the blankets as far out from the chair all round as possible, and there will be no danger of their catching fire.
The blankets must reach to the ground; and if one is not large enough, tack two together. This will form a complete tent round the person.
When this is done, light a match and set fire to the spirit in the jar under the chair. This will burn steadily until all the air inside the blankets is thoroughly heated, and the person will begin to perspire freely. He may be kept in, after he begins to perspire, from ten to twenty minutes, according to the severity of the symptoms.
If the heat becomes too intense, lift up a corner of the blanket now and then to let the cold air in. Cold water cloths on the head and sips of cold water may be of use, as in the Pack.
When ready to be taken out, have a hip bath or tub with tepid water, with a sheet in it, similar to that prescribed in the former Pack. (The best way to put out the light is by smothering it, not blowing it out.)
If this bath is given with ordinary care, there is not the slightest danger, while it would relieve many a poor sufferer and save many a valuable life.
A VAPOUR BATH
may be given in exactly the same way, only substitute half a pail of boiling water instead of the lamp, and half a hot brick taken out of the fire. Put the latter into the water when the patient is seated, to keep the water boiling, and produce plenty of steam. If there should be too much steam, open the blankets as before, and let a little out. The treatment on coming out should be the same as after the Lamp Bath.
SOAKING THE FEET IN HOT WATER.
A mistake very commonly made is to put the feet in water as hot as the patient can bear, and then to let it gradually cool. This often does more harm than good. The water ought to be of a moderate heat at first, and a kettle of boiling water should be kept near, so that the attendant can keep adding a little, so making the heat of the water greater when the feet are taken out than when they were put in. Mustard added to the water is also a great advantage.
On taking the feet out they should be well dried, and warm wool stockings put on if the patient is going to remain indoors; but if he has to go out he should plunge his feet quickly into cold water before wiping, taking them out again immediately; but the safest plan is to go to bed.
HOT FOMENTS.
Very few people know how to give hot foments properly. We have frequently seen them being applied with the water running out of the edges of the flannels, dribbling down into the bed, making the sheets and everything wet, cold, and miserable round the patient.
The proper way to give a foment is to have a piece of flannel, of not less than four folds, torn to the proper size to cover the part.
The water, or mustard and water, should be as hot as the person wringing can possibly bear. The flannel should be folded straight before it is put in, and not put in all of a lump. Then it should be lifted out into a coarse towel which should be wrung as tightly as possible with the flannel in it. This should be quickly taken out of the towel and put on the part and covered with hot dry flannel-a piece of old blanket folded is good, or, better still, a mackintosh bottle about one-third full of hot water.
This is a very good plan, seeing that, with a hot bottle over it, there is no necessity to re-wet the flannel, and this saves fatiguing the patient by constant change. The hot foment should be continued till the pain is relieved, and when taken off, a warm dry flannel should be put over the part.
For inflammations of all parts of the body this is invaluable, and may be repeated as often as the pain returns. In cases of bad colic, or even
CHOLERA.
we should recommend the hottest sitz bath the person can sit in. The water to come right up over the bowels, and a good strong dose of cayenne pepper in hot water, say as much as would lie on a threepenny piece, in a tumbler of hot water, should be drunk; to be repeated every half hour, or until further advice can be obtained.
ABSCESSES AND GATHERINGS.
Hot water poultices; hot foments. Poultices of linseed meal and bread, and keeping them always moist and hot are the best applications.
In the case of gathered fingers, and where people are obliged to use their hands, strips of linen wrung out of cold water, wrapped round and covered with an bottle, are better than poultices, only they need to be re-wet as soon as they are dry.
In cases where gatherings and whitlows do not heal, hold them in a lotion of hot water and Condy's Fluid (about a teaspoonful to a tumbler of water), as often as possible.
MUSTARD PLASTERS.
We find that chili poultices are far better than mustard, answer the same purpose, and do not make the skin sore afterwards. Ground chilies are to be bought at the chemist's or herbalist's or hydropathic establishments, but in case they cannot be obtained the ordinary cayenne pepper may be used.
Make a hot bread poultice, spread it out, and sprinkle the chilies or the cayenne pepper moderately over the face of it, then cover it with a piece of thin muslin and apply it to the part.
This may be kept on an hour or two and repeated frequently without producing any soreness of the skin.
For WEAKLY CHILDREN who perspire at night and are generally delicate, water for the bath in the morning should have just the chill taken off it, and a slightly warm bath at night will often help sleep. Such children should, if possible, always sleep alone and on a small soft mattress - never on feather beds, and the covering should be light and warm. Thick, heavy quilts are very injurious to young, delicate children.
In conclusion, we would recommend our people with families to procure two pairs of small grey blankets for bath purposes, which can be bought for about 5s. 6d. a pair. They will more than pay their cost in saving the bed blankets.
Brown mustard, suitable for packing purposes, and not half the price of ordinary mustard, can be had by ordering at most stores, or at hydropathic establishments. In using this kind of mustard, however, rather more must be used to the quantity of water.
FRESH AIR.
In all kinds of delicate health or sickness, fresh air is of the greatest value. Open your windows as much as possible, only avoid putting the patient in a draught. Thousands of children are made invalids by being put to sleep in too close sleeping rooms.
CHAPTER XXXV: WILL YOU GIVE THIS TRAINING?
"WHERE have you been?" said one friend to another when they met in the City.
"I have been hearing a lecture on the Training of Children, was the reply.
"Where have you been?
"Oh," said the other, " I have been at home doing it."
Both were right, especially the one who had been doing the work. But we will hope that the other, having heard his duty explained and enforced, would thereby be led immediately to the discharge of it.
Dear reader-comrade or otherwise-you have come thus far with us in our remarks. Now the question very naturally comes up : If you have not already set yourself to the task, will you do so, and will you do it with your might? To hear or read about duty is one thing-to do it is quite another. It is emphatically true in this case that not the forgetful hearer, but the DOER OF THE WORD will be blessed in his deed.
Almost every day of our existence the sense of the overwhelming importance of this duty grows upon us. It is said that on a certain occasion, in the presence of the First Napoleon, a company of distinguished personages were discussing the special needs of France. After hearing attentively a number of different opinions, the Emperor is said to have remarked, "THE GREAT NEED OF FRANCE IS MOTHERS!"
Alas! this is still true, we doubt not, of that nation; and not of that nation only, but of every other nation under heaven. The crying want of the world is true, noble, godly mothers-and fathers, too, as far as that goes. The children of every land are growing up to a heritage of misery here and hereafter, for want of the training which only godly fathers and mothers can give-fathers and mothers who recognise the value and importance of the souls of their children, and who will, at all costs, train them for Holiness, for humanity, and for God.
Parents, will you do this? Are you doing it? Or in the highest interests and destinies of their being, are your poor children orphans? That is, are you caring for their earthly interests at the expense of their souls? If so, you will find yourself in the deplorable position of the servant girl, who, having, through carelessness, during the absence of her mistress, allowed a beautiful child entrusted to her care to be burnt to death, tried to excuse her neglect by presenting the mother with the child's clothes, all clean and in good order. Alas! alas! what compensation were the clothes-however carefully got up-to this broken-hearted mother for the loss of her darling? She wanted the child, not its clothes. So parents-while we do not want to undervalue the importance of a due and proper care of the bodies of your children, yet we must insist upon the fact that, in the great day of account, He will require from you their souls; and it will be no mitigation of your condemnation and distress that you took care of their bodies and their minds and their worldly interests, if it was at the expense, or to the neglect, of their everlasting Salvation.
Can anything more be added to what has been already advanced in the foregoing pages to urge you, as parents, to a whole-hearted devotion to the task of training your precious charge? I fear not. Still, I feel I must try.
Four great interests are at stake. Each one taken alone is of sufficient importance to justify every effort you can put forth. Training will make, sure of them all. They have been hinted, at as we have gone along. I produce them again-ponder them well in your hearts. We begin with the first:--
1. THE WELFARE OF THE CHILDREN THEMSELVES.
Love comes with the children. To seek their highest good is but the compliance with the strongest natural instinct of the parent's heart. Unless these inborn yearnings have been destroyed by some fiendish passion, some wild inhuman lust, or some mean form of selfishness, this innate love of the children will dominate in the heart of every father and mother, and no price will be counted too high to pay, no sacrifice too painful to make, to secure the future well-being of the little ones.
It is important that parents should clearly see wherein this well-being consists. Many, many, sad failures follow daily from misapprehensions here; and, mistaking the thing to be aimed at, no wonder that all sorts of erroneous methods are pursued in order to reach it. What is it?
Beyond controversy, one indispensable element in the real well-being of the children is GOODNESS.
Whatever else they are or are not, they must be good. I care not who you are or what opinions you entertain on all other themes, you will admit that it cannot possibly be really well with your children, now, or at any other time, unless they are good. Then, to turn their feet into the way of God's commandments, and to so bend their wills and fix their affections that they shall never depart from the paths of rectitude, must be an ambition, not only worthy but supreme, in the very nature of things, in every Christian father and mother's heart.
If you are good yourself, you know the blessedness and rest and divinity of goodness, and you will not only yearn to make your children good, but the very thought of their being anything else will stab you as with a dart. Look at your darlings as you clasp their innocent forms to your bosoms, or watch them slumbering in their little beds; and then say whether the very thought of any one of them growing up to be a thief, or a liar, or a harlot, or a drunkard, or a respectable sham or white-washed hypocrite, would not horrify you, and make you feel that you would rather ten thousand thousand times lay them all in the grave. While, on the other hand, the anticipation of their being made and kept holy and good amidst the ocean of uncleanness and immorality which you know will so soon be rolling all about them, will be almost as welcome to you as the expectation you cherish of their walking some day in white robes in the companionship of the holy angels over the golden streets of the New Jerusalem.
I have shown in this book a sure and certain way, so far as anything on earth can be sure and certain, by which ,you can realise this Heaven-born, sanctified yearning for your children. Nay, more than this, I have shown you that this is THE ONLY CERTAIN WAY. Will you take it?
You do not want them to go to the Cross round by the public-house, the brothel, the ball-room, the race-course, the gambling hell, or any of the other earthly hells of cheatery, or Pharisaism, or infidelity, and only land at the Saviour's feet with broken health, shattered minds, and dissipated habits, destroying every possibility of usefulness, or requiring a life-time to repair the havoc wrought.
No! No!! NO!!! Ten thousand times no! Then take them by the hand in the morning of life, in the bloom of their existence, and lead them straight up to your Saviour, and make them bow and submit to Him; so shall they not only obtain His forgiveness and favour, but be regenerated by the Holy Ghost and doubly strengthened to walk the slippery paths of youth, and face victoriously all the opposition that earth and Hell can bring against their future holy career.
Come then, my comrades, my friends, known and unknown, in The Salvation Army and out of it, imitate your Heavenly Father, whose first great business, nay, whose infinite anxiety it is to make and keep us all good. You are appointed not only to point out, but to lovingly compel your children to travel over this royal track of goodness by giving them this training.
Most fathers and mothers are more anxious about the happiness of their children than they are about their own. There are very few parents who are not perfectly willing, and who do not every day forego their own comfort in order to promote that of their children.
Alas! alas! what a misfortune it is that parents, while so concerned for the happiness of their darlings, should so often adopt a course calculated to bring about just the opposite effect! If you want your children to be happy, take the one only course that will lead to it.
The assertion already repeatedly made in these pages is incontrovertible, that God has inseparably linked goodness and happiness together. In childhood, in youth, in manhood, in grey hairs, and in the spirit world, peace and purity are never found apart. Happiness and naughtiness are an impossibility. Oh, the delusions that have possession of multitudes of parents on this subject! Although their own lives, down to the present moment, may have been a constant contradiction of the theory that happiness may be found and maintained without goodness, they go on sending forth their children-victims of the same lying delusion-only to make the same sad discovery after the same weary round of disappointment, finishing up too often with a death-bed of despair and a hell of endless remorse.
Parents think and say that it is their chief concern to make their children happy. Then what ought they to do? Why, common sense and their Bibles, and the religious teaching they possess, however little that may be, should compel them to take that course which alone is calculated to make them GOOD.
The Kingdom of Heaven, for children as well as for men and women, consists, first in RIGHTEOUSNESS, and then PEACE, and Joy in the Holy Ghost. Father, mother, take the Saviour's counsel, and "seek" for your children "FIRST the Kingdom of God, and all other things shall be added" unto them.
Do parents act thus generally with their children? Alas, they do not! Look at them in your own circle; many of them professedly Christians. Nay, look at yourself How are you acting? Is it not a common thing for parents to say-perhaps not with their lips, but by their conduct, and we all know that actions speak louder than words-" I want my children to be happy, therefore I will work, and weep, and pray to make them rich, or clever, or beautiful, or famous, or learned, or something of the same kind"? And does it not, also, almost always invariably follow that when God allows these poor, misguided children to reach the bubble sought, it is only to have it burst in their despairing grasp, and go out in darkness, often taking them with it?
Do you want your children to be happy-to have a happiness that has foundations, that will bear reflection, that will stand the tremendous strain of poverty, of affliction, of a dying hour, or of the Judgment Day? Do you desire for them a happiness that can live without the support of the riches and pleasure and pomps of the world; that will outlive the rolling comets and the blazing suns? I show it you, and I show you the way to it. The Bible is full of it. "Blessed "-that is happy, supremely happy-"are the pure in heart." There is no other way to blessedness on earth or in Heaven; so come along, father, mother, and thank God for this way, this royal way of joy and gladness and set to work to get the feet of your children firmly established in it.
This is no arbitrary arrangement. It is not an accident that heavenly purity should mean human blessedness. It is in the very nature of things that it should be so. Let me show you how this comes about.
This Divine goodness, wrought in the heart, whether of men or children, means a clear conscience-all past sin and wrong-doing being forgiven. It is heralded by a full pardon and the consciousness of it. Hence there are no haunting memories of the past, and no dark fears of the future.
It means a clean heart. The vile spirits of self-seeking, and pride, and malice, and envy, and vanity, which are the roots and causes of so much inward unrest and misery, are cleansed away.
It means the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, giving strength for the keeping of the commandments of God.
It means a heart filled with love to God and love to man, and love brings Heaven to those who have enough of it.
And then it follows, naturally, that a heart filled with love should always lead to a life of benevolence, and that must ever be a source of satisfaction and gladness.
It means a life of faithful human service, and that brings the pleasure of a conscience void of offence towards all men.
It means that supreme worship and love of God which always ensures the peace which passeth all understanding, --the joy which is unspeakable and full of glory.
And over all, and upon all, it means the bright shining of the Sun of the Divine Presence, which shineth day and night-the undefinable, but nevertheless realisable, comforting, sustaining, guiding, keeping presence of God, which He gives only to sincere, obedient, and fully-surrendered hearts.
Will you train your children for such a life of rest and gladness here, or will you leave them to drift off into the mighty ocean of worldliness, formality, iniquity, and misery that is everywhere foaming and surging around them? Drift off, alas! not only to be damned and broken on the black rocks that are unseen, but on those only too well seen, and then to be finally and eternally wrecked.
The second leading consideration that we think should induce parents to give the training advocated in this volume, is because it is intimately connected with-
2. THE HAPPINESS OF PARENTS THEMSELVES.
While we protest against the sordidly selfish motives which actuate multitudes of parents who train their children simply to gratify their own likes and interests, to feed their pride or advance their ambitious schemes, we are equally aware that the happiness of parents all the way through this life, and in a mysterious way in the life beyond, depends, to an awful extent upon the well-doing of their children.
Mother, father, look this calmly in the face as you first take your babe into your arms, and say to yourself:--
"This child, if it lives, is destined to exert a most serious influence for good or evil over my heart, and over my life, and over my home, and over all my associations, and over all my destiny in eternity. If it turns out well with the child, it will be well with me. If the child becomes good, and happy, and useful, and godly on earth, and is finally landed in Heaven, it will be to me a source of unceasing joy and gladness; but if otherwise, it will be a never-failing cause of anxiety and sorrow in this life, and very probably interfere with the fullest happiness which is possible to me in the life to come."
We read in history (we hope it is only fable) that the Romans had a custom of chaining prisoners together by an iron girdle so closely that when one of them rose, or walked, or lay down, the other must rise, or walk, or lie down also; otherwise there must be perpetual strife and discomfort. And, more painful still, it is said that when one of these prisoners, so chained together, died, the corpse was not removed, but left to be dragged about, rotting and festering under the eyes of its living comrade, creating physical misery indescribable. There was no deliverance from the body of that death.
Now, it seems to us that, in some mysterious manner, God has, after this fashion, connected the child with the parent. The doings--the destiny--the welfare of the child is linked with the inner being of the parent. The heart of the one is bound up with the heart of the other.
Is it not so with you? When the child is sad, is not the mother sad also? When the child suffers, does not the mother suffer? If the child wanders away, does not the mother's heart wander away with it? Or if the child becomes (as God forbid that any child of yours ever should become) a harlot, a thief, or a murderer, will not its poor, rotting, festering memory, the shadow of its former self, now marred--murdered, as it were--cling to the parents, and be dragged about by them with weary sighs, heavy groans, and oceans of tears, wherever they go? In the light, and in the darkness, in the drawing room, or the shop, or the factory, this poor child's form will be there and cannot be shaken off.
And when such a poor child, through the want of parental care, and teaching, and example, goes into the future world a lost soul, as God knows such children too often do, with a wail of despair on its lips, will not the spirit come back to the mother and father, and upbraid them with that cruel neglect and ruinous example, which has contributed to its damnation?
If this be so-if the fate of the children is so closely connected with that of the parents, that for us to be joyful they must be joyful, for us to prosper they must prosper also, then how important it is that the parents should bring their hearts and energies to the task of giving that training to their children which will most surely mould and fashion them for a good and happy lot.
Humanly speaking, children make for their parents either Hell or Heaven, even in this life. Those good gifts of God, capable of working out for us the highest enjoyment when rightly used, do, as everybody knows, when neglected or abused, become the keenest and most productive sources of anguish and remorse. And as children are the richest treasures entrusted to our care, they consequently have more to do with our happiness than all other human things put together.
Illustrations of the miseries resulting from the want of this training could be produced sufficient to fill any number of volumes; but, alas! alas! they are strewed around us in only too great abundance everywhere. Is it not sadly too common a thing for parents to be made miserable, and to have all the comfort of their lives marred by spoilt, badly-behaved, selfish, tyrannical children?
The extent to which ill-trained children can make homes wretched, which otherwise might be like paradise, has always been a source of astonishment to me. For instance, see the little things when hardly able to stand alone, crying for what they cannot get, displeased with every effort put forth to give them pleasure, quarrelling, jangling, and restless, making the lives of each other, and of mothers, and fathers, and servants, and friends almost unbearable!
But wait a bit and see how this capacity for making misery will have increased when a little advance in age brings to the children some choice and control over their own movements. And when to their own self-will is added the influence of schoolmates and companions, as ill-trained or more so than themselves, or when their worldliness and selfishness are still further developed by the conceit that so commonly comes with a little education or some business authority.
Alas! alas! too many parents, and guardians, and servants know all this to their misery. Oh, what lamentations are to be heard daily, and what confessions of helplessness are to be seen pictured forth on countenances where the sense of propriety, mixed with pride, forbids any reference to the cause of it!
But if, when young, children have the power to make those about them unhappy, how will this ability be increased if allowed to grow old in selfishness and sin? How many fathers and mothers are there in this land at the present moment who are strangers to an hour's real peace by day or a night's quiet repose, in consequence of their anxiety about their children--of whose whereabouts they are uncertain, but of whose wicked, profligate lives they are only too painfully certain!
Let those parents who read this book PONDER THESE THINGS WELL IN THEIR HEARTS.
If you do not want to have your declining years embittered, and your grey hairs brought with sorrow to the grave, resolve that you will, in the most serious spirit, and in the strength of Divine grace, set yourself to control the wills and train the hearts of your children from their earliest days in paths of righteousness and godliness.
And further, if parents are to meet their children in Heaven, let them train them for it.
We have seen already how intimately the happiness of children in this life is connected with your own. Bear in mind also that this connexion will be continued right away into the next.
There are three leading expectations cherished by all good fathers and mothers with respect to their fullest happiness in the heavenly world.
1. There is the desire in every sanctified soul to see the King.
2. There will come the desire to see the Kingdom, the great glorified Corporation, the multitude which no man can number, who have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.
3. And next, there will inevitably be in every parent's breast the strong and deathless desire to see their own children there.
Heaven would be no Heaven without the King. Were it possible for us to find Him absent on our arrival, we should want immediately to go where He was, wherever that might be.
Heaven would be but poor indeed, compared with what we anticipate it, without the glorified spirits of just men made perfect, the souls of our departed comrades.
And it seems to us that Heaven would be deprived of much of its brightness and joy unless the precious children were there also, whose joys and sorrows have filled up so large a measure of our hearts on earth.
Verily, verily, are they not a part of us? True, we can imagine that the link which binds our hearts to theirs may be broken, and it is just possible that we may come to forget that they ever existed. He who has the arrangements for our final felicity in His hands will doubtless do what tends most perfectly to secure our everlasting joy; but surely our Heaven will be more complete with the children there-their divine destiny accomplished and their everlasting perfection secured.
Without them, I suppose we shall be content, and at rest, and happy. But there are degrees of contentment; there are different measures of rest; there are higher and lower standards of happiness. And it seems to us that for parents to have the perfect degree of contentment, the full measure of rest, and the highest standard of happiness reached, so far as outer things and circumstances are concerned, in the Eternal City, we must be WITH THE KING, IN THE KINGDOM, AND HAVE ALL OUR CHILDREN WITH US THERE.
Call this selfish, do you? Well, be it so. As parents, we are what God has made us, and what we have said we think will accord with the instinctive feelings of every saved parent's heart.
Do you not feel like this my brother, my sister? When the thunders are hushed, and the lightnings have ceased, and the storm is lulled, and the waves are calmed down, and the heavenly ship has gone over the bar into the haven, and you find yourself safely landed on the golden shores, do you not expect that you will want either to find your children there, or to know that after finishing the fight you have been compelled to leave on earth, they are coming on in a little time crowned and triumphant to join you?
I know you will. Every mother's and father's heart, justified and sanctified as I hope yours is, will say, " Amen, so let it be." Then, train your children for it. Do not be allured away from your purpose by any will-o-the-wisp that may start up with its false, gleaming, worldly, devilish fires, however bright and glittering they may appear. Do not listen to any suggestions, counsels, or cautions that may come from kindred, or friends, or anybody else, if they seem likely to interfere with the chances of your darling children making their calling and election sure to this heavenly inheritance. Do not indulge in the common, every-day practice of the professedly Christian world, of giving a half-worldly training, or in the equally palpable folly of withholding an out-and-out godly one, in order to obtain some supposed worldly advantage, and then expect that, contrary to the very course of things, something is going to turn up that will give to your children that holy character without which it is impossible for God to have them in Heaven. No! no! no! To turn your children's feet into a path leading in the opposite direction to the goal which you want them to reach, and yet expect that they will reach it, is not only folly, but folly of the most stupid kind. For their sakes, and for your own, turn their faces towards the city that hath foundations. Walk before them in the narrow way; encourage and practise their feet in the heavenly road, so shall they finish the journey and follow you to Heaven. "Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth; Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them." (Rev. xiv. 13.)
Parents should give this training to their children, as only thereby will they qualify them to render the most effective assistance in saving the world.
3. TRAIN THE CHILDREN FOR THE WORLD'S SAKE.
Many who will read this book have a measure of sympathy with the multitudes of poor, suffering people, who wander about on its surface, and for the most part wander about in sin and woe. On these multitudes you look, as it were, with the very eyes of Jesus Christ; you see the world as He saw it; you regard it as He regarded it-not only in its relations to the sorrows and joys which are but for an hour, but in its relations to those that will endure for ever. You weep, you pray, you long for its Salvation, and you are willing to suffer, nay-if the Master plainly called you to it-you are willing to die for it. You want to help it-, and you often regret in your yearnings on its behalf, not only that there is so little you can do, but that you possess so little that seems to you of any particular value that you can give. You have no money, nor genius, nor learning, nor eloquence to lay on the altar. Did you possess these gifts, how gladly would you lay them there! But having them not, you feel as though you could do little more than sit down alongside the dark, deep river of restless, wretched, sin-cursed souls, as it rushes by you on its rapid course to the bottomless pit, and sigh and weep.
And yet you have treasures in your possession, probably of greater value and influence and potency for the accomplishment the task in hand than the rich mines of the Indies, the eloquence of the greatest orators, or the knowledge of the learned. You have children who will grow up to exert forces for good or evil, compared with which all mere human gifts are but as the dust before the hurricane. Oh, train them to be saviours of men; qualify them for this mighty destiny, and then bring them to the Lord Jesus and give them to your King.
In the American war of independence, and in other wars as well, where the hearts of the people have been deeply stirred, it has been quite a common occurrence for mothers to send their elder sons to the battle-field, knowing full well what terrible risks they run. But more than this: on receiving back these sons maimed for life, or on hearing the bitter news of their having fallen amongst the slain, it was not an uncommon thing for these mothers to send other sons to take their brothers' places in fighting for their country. Such mothers have imagined that greater interests were at stake than even the lives of their children, and consequently they have given them up. Doubtless, this giving up has been accompanied with such tears and agony, seen and unseen, as are indescribable here; but, nevertheless, they have given them up for what they thought to be the freedom and the happiness and the welfare of the multitude.
But how can we compare any human need as a justification for sacrifice with that upon which we are speaking here? Here is a necessity enforced by the bitter cry of millions of perishing souls. Here is something worthy of suffering. That is, will pay for any amount of blood that can be spilt, or any degree of loss that can be endured on its behalf. What do you say, mothers and fathers? Will you give your children? The Father has set you the example; He gave His Son for you. Will you not give your sons and daughters to Him, and for a dying world? Bring them out, the best you have, all you have, and bend yourself to train them right well for the War to which you consecrate them.
All round you fathers and mothers, at enormous expense, endless trouble, and tremendous sacrifices, are deliberately training their children for pursuits, occupations, and professions that they know, or might know, will curse the world and people Hell. Train yours to bless it and people Heaven.
Look at this poor earth of ours. Get a map of it. If you do not understand maps, ask somebody to explain to you all about the countries and peoples and languages that are described on it. Count its populations, cast up the sum of its idolatries, its superstitions, its cruelties, its slavery, its wars, its vice, its misery. How it wails in its bonds! Almost the whole creation groaneth. WHAT IS TO BE DONE FOR IT?
Thank God, something has been done-something is being done. But what has been done and what is being done are as nothing compared with what is required. We want that requirement to be met. That requirement has been talked about long enough. Surely the time and the opportunity for action have come. Will you do your share?
Did I say the opportunity had come to help the poor world out of its sins and miseries-has not the encouragement come also? And is not that encouragement The Salvation Army? Let anyone with some little thought and prayer-the more of both the better-read the Statistical Statement of what has been done by this movement as given at the close of this volume, and then say whether a really wonderful advance has not been made. And then let them consider whether the means by which that advance has been secured are not as wonderful as the advance itself, and whether, taken all together, it is not a remarkable encouragement to all who would fain do something to save souls from Hell, to save the world-to save all the world-at once to set to work full of hope, and full of confidence as to the result.
See what has been done by a handful of men and women, ordinary people. Just such persons as you, dear reader, whose eyes now rest upon this page. True, God has helped us, wrought by us, and through us, but He is no respecter of persons. Will you not help us? Won't you give your children to our King and train them for the War?
The world needs holy men and women. All are agreed here. We have never heard anyone dissent from this.
MAKE YOUR CHILDREN GOOD
The world needs fully-surrendered people-men and women who are not so much concerned about what they can get from God as about what they can do for Him; who have given up their lives to save other lives. Make your children benevolent and pitiful, and send them out to seek not their own, but the things which are Jesus Christ's-to live not to Please themselves, but Him who has bought them with His Blood. For the Salvation of the world.
MAKE YOUR CHILDREN WILLING TO DIE.
The world needs Soldiers, men given up for the War, and not merely Soldiers, but veterans, men and women practised and capable. Oh train your children to be Soldiers by profession-that is, make them Soldiers in heart. Teach their hands to war from their babyhood.
MAKE YOUR CHILDREN WARRIORS.
Our King is going to have an Army, a fighting Army, a disciplined Army, an invincible Army, a conquering Army, an Army that shall accomplish His purpose, rout His foes, and win the world to His feet. The advance guard of this grand Army has been skirmishing for generations, but the main body is coming into the field. Your boys and your girls are to be in its ranks, perchance carrying its Standards, or leading on its Battalions to victory; anyhow, see to it if you love the cause for which that Army is fighting, if you love this poor sin-bound world, and would like to have a hand in its emancipation, that you give your boys and girls to it, not as raw recruits but as capable Soldiers, and this you can only do by training and inspiring them in their childhood with the spirit and the motives of the War.
And, lastly, we urge you to give this training
4. FOR YOUR LORD'S SAKE.
He wants your children. They belong to Him. He is their Creator. He keeps them in being. He has redeemed them with His own Blood. He says Himself, "All souls are Mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is Mine; " and therefore it is only right and fit that they should supremely love, reverence, and serve Him. Will you train them to do this? You have often wished you could do something for Him in return for all His love and sacrifice. You have now the opportunity to train and present Him with the choicest treasures you possess.
WILL YOU EMBRACE IT?
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